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psychedelic
Sea Gull
Joined: Nov 28, 2007
Posts: 240
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
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 Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 1:17 am Post subject: |
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you might want to try the following site. It might be useful...
http://www.ocdonline.com/
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If there's such a thing as god, he's a sick bastard. |
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LabPet
alchemist
Joined: Jan 05, 2007
Posts: 2920
Location: Alaska
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| Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 1:45 am Post subject: |
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| sunnycat wrote: | Dear Grael,
I think you are a beautiful person. You have beautiful, sparkling, and expressive eyes that are blue like a deep ocean waiting to be stormy.
And I feel that you are capable of loving others...I have felt cared by you many times...Also, others love you too...It is obvious from this thread and many others that there are people who care about you...
Love might be overrated...a short smile of a passing stranger might be an expression of love from the universe...
Or love is completed in me, in my own heart where I am able to receive and appreciate it...
Of course, maybe this is just a psycho-babble and sprititual crap...maybe I'm not understanding the things you are going through...
But the bottom line is, you are a beautiful and talented person... Your life is filled with 'life'...each moment is precious because you survived...
A lot of people, including myself, are glad that you are here.
I am interested in the book you are writing so keep up the good work! |
Perfectly articulate sunnycat - and I 2nd that! Graelwyn, you'll be ok. I think maybe you've lost your strength, partly due to what your body has endured, then it's like a downward spiral. But you're strong and I think with medical intervention, some proper nutrition, you'll be stronger than ever soon. Plus, like other's have said, we do care about you - you're special to us. |
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jkrane
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 11, 2007
Posts: 537
Location: 39uqlksdj3ujadlskd
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| Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 4:05 pm Post subject: Re: I am Fat and Worthless |
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| Graelwyn wrote: | I am almost 33. Here I am on incapacity because I cannot cope with daily life...how much more of a loser could I be?
I am 125 ibs now but I am still fat, I look down at myself sideways and there is fat there.
I wish I had cancer. |
125 lbs. You're skinny as a toothpick. You're skin and bones. YOU NEED TO EAT MORE! Then you'll feel better. |
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patrick6
Phoenix
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Joined: Feb 24, 2008
Posts: 1901
Location: London, U.K.
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 2:24 am Post subject: Re: I am Fat and Worthless |
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| Graelwyn wrote: | I am almost 33. Here I am on incapacity because I cannot cope with daily life...how much more of a loser could I be?
I have achieved nothing as far as I am concerned. I just take up space with my oversized body.
I am fat and repulsive and old. That is what I see. My arse even has wrinkles when I lean back, that is how old I am.
I am 125 ibs now but I am still fat, I look down at myself sideways and there is fat there.
I will probably die this time round and I do not care.
I am tired of fighting on for nothing. I never get anywhere and I am alone in the world, I am incapable of feeling loved and maybe even incapable of loving others.
I wish I had cancer. |
125 pounds fat? Did you mean to type the word "skinny" instead of "fat"? That is probably below average to be honest with you (depending on your height) and would possibly be considered as being unhealthy. I don't know if this post was a joke or not, but that is pretty pathetic to think you are fat when you only weigh 125 pounds. There are lots of women out there who weigh 200+ pounds who are ACTUALLY fat, but still look beautiful.
You think you're old because you are 33? You're only as old as you feel. Of course it's inevitable to escape the effects of the aging process. You should not worry about inevitable things. All people age so you shouldn't let it affect you much. If you had some kind of rare disorder where you aged quicker than the average person, I'd possibly feel sorry for you because people don't like to feel different.
Anyways, that's all I had to say. If you need to talk to me PM me. |
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Strapples
Strapplius, God of straps!
Joined: Dec 01, 2007
Age: 18
Posts: 18418
Location: Chicago Area IL
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 10:41 am Post subject: |
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Graelwyn i hope you got some sort of help by now. if not you may want to get in touch with your doctor as soon as you can. most doctors treat this kind of thing as an emergency at your severity, 5'9 and 125 pounds is bad. i am 5'0 and 98 pounds and i am considered tiny, i am fed through a tube in my stomach because my neurological disease makes it impossible to swallow food. sometimes they can fix it with psychotherapy other times they have to insert a feeding tube of some sort... either way please get some help!
_________________
check out my website at http://www.alinssite.info and my forum at http://www.disabledplanet.net and my WP threads by clicking
http://alinssite.iguido.com/Thread_List/Thread_List.html (UPDATE JUN 30 09)
DXED CLASSIC AUTISM HFA 7/10/09 |
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Graelwyn
Myrrdyn
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Joined: Dec 21, 2006
Age: 34
Posts: 8667
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| Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 5:18 pm Post subject: |
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No, I have not had another appointment through from the shrink and since I missed several, I am too scared to broach the subject with my doctor who I have not seen since I lost weight. I am still around 126 Ibs, tho my height is actually 5'10, not 5'9. My OCD has taken over my life so much. I control it to a degree, but it takes very little to convince me that the scales are wrong and I weigh more than anyone in the world.
Example...denim jeans/shorts. I have loads. I wear a new pair and notice that after a day of moving and sitting in them, the material in the butt is softer etc. It drives me mad. To me it means I am too large for them. But it happens with things that are baggy on me too. I don't get it.
I exercise 90 minutes every day, no matter how tired I feel. I often binge eat at night so I stopped buying a lot of the foods I bought and now only buy salad, fish, yoghurt, fruit, crackers and dried fruit. I am getting panic attacks again which are making my life miserable. And I feel isolated as there is no one to talk to on here, on my messengers.
Times, I really wish I would just go to sleep and not wake up.
But I still fear death at times when I feel I am dying from the panic attacks.
I feel as if I am just taking up too much space in the world. I serve no purpose,have no function, do no good.
I get moody and spiteful, which just reinforces my belief that I am not a nice person, rather a b***h.
I have now been with my online bf for over a year, and I honestly do not know why he bothers with me. I am a bore. |
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Strapples
Strapplius, God of straps!
Joined: Dec 01, 2007
Age: 18
Posts: 18418
Location: Chicago Area IL
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| Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 5:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Graelwyn wrote: | No, I have not had another appointment through from the shrink and since I missed several, I am too scared to broach the subject with my doctor who I have not seen since I lost weight. I am still around 126 Ibs, tho my height is actually 5'10, not 5'9. My OCD has taken over my life so much. I control it to a degree, but it takes very little to convince me that the scales are wrong and I weigh more than anyone in the world.
Example...denim jeans/shorts. I have loads. I wear a new pair and notice that after a day of moving and sitting in them, the material in the butt is softer etc. It drives me mad. To me it means I am too large for them. But it happens with things that are baggy on me too. I don't get it.
I exercise 90 minutes every day, no matter how tired I feel. I often binge eat at night so I stopped buying a lot of the foods I bought and now only buy salad, fish, yoghurt, fruit, crackers and dried fruit. I am getting panic attacks again which are making my life miserable. And I feel isolated as there is no one to talk to on here, on my messengers.
Times, I really wish I would just go to sleep and not wake up.
But I still fear death at times when I feel I am dying from the panic attacks.
I feel as if I am just taking up too much space in the world. I serve no purpose,have no function, do no good.
I get moody and spiteful, which just reinforces my belief that I am not a nice person, rather a b***h.
I have now been with my online bf for over a year, and I honestly do not know why he bothers with me. I am a bore. |
i know you dont want to hear this but at this point you need to go to an emergency room / emergency psychiatric center.
_________________
check out my website at http://www.alinssite.info and my forum at http://www.disabledplanet.net and my WP threads by clicking
http://alinssite.iguido.com/Thread_List/Thread_List.html (UPDATE JUN 30 09)
DXED CLASSIC AUTISM HFA 7/10/09 |
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Graelwyn
Myrrdyn
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Joined: Dec 21, 2006
Age: 34
Posts: 8667
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| Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 5:47 pm Post subject: |
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| have no right to help. There are people such as yourself and another member with serious issues not of their own making, and here is me with this s**T. IT makes me feel very disgusted with myself when I was given a healthy body. Just not a healthy mind. |
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Strapples
Strapplius, God of straps!
Joined: Dec 01, 2007
Age: 18
Posts: 18418
Location: Chicago Area IL
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| Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 6:32 pm Post subject: |
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| Graelwyn wrote: | | have no right to help. There are people such as yourself and another member with serious issues not of their own making, and here is me with this s**T. IT makes me feel very disgusted with myself when I was given a healthy body. Just not a healthy mind. |
body and mind are heavily interconnected... who knows you might have a endocrine (hormone) disorder...
_________________
check out my website at http://www.alinssite.info and my forum at http://www.disabledplanet.net and my WP threads by clicking
http://alinssite.iguido.com/Thread_List/Thread_List.html (UPDATE JUN 30 09)
DXED CLASSIC AUTISM HFA 7/10/09 |
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