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LePetitPrince
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 2738
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
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 Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 10:41 am Post subject: |
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| catspurr wrote: | | NeantHumain wrote: | | sinsboldly wrote: | | so, if women do this to men, and men (I don't think I am going to get an arguement, here) do this to women, then it sounds like a PEOPLE thing. |
I think you are going to get an argument. Generally, women are known in our culture for "playing games" more than men. |
Oh yeah!!? Well then explain Dungeons and Dragons, World of Warcraft, Starcraft... NeantHumain! |
Oh yeah?!! What about Sims?? Girls love sims lol |
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Sophist
Professor of Pedantry
Joined: Apr 24, 2005
Posts: 6170
Location: St. Louie
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| Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 10:43 am Post subject: |
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Hmmm, woman bashing... how fun.
Coming from a woman, I like nice guys, not jerky jocks. If I get together with someone, I'm checking them out as potential life partner. Bad guys may sprint well, but nice guys are better long distance runners. 
To OP: It doesn't sound like she was intentionally stringing you along. It's unfortunate she wasn't more honest with you, but as others have said, her dishonesty probably had nobler intentions than her wanting to just screw you over. Even if you said you wanted utter honesty, you can't change a person's nature with a single command. If someone told me I had to suddenly start playing mind games rather than being my generally honest self, I wouldn't find that easy. So just put that concept in reverse.
She hurt you by her dishonesty, whatever her good or bad intentions. You hurt her (I'm guessing) by trying to lay a guilt trip on her. Eye for an eye. Feel better now? If not, then I'd imagine getting the last word probably wasn't such a good idea. She metaphorically kicked you in the knee and in revenge you kicked her back; now both your knees hurt... 
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northern_light_girl
Snowy Owl
Joined: Mar 29, 2008
Posts: 141
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| Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 11:00 am Post subject: |
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| D1nk0 wrote: | | But the emotional uncertainty of women seems to be much greater and more common than emotional uncertainty in men. Im saying the learn that dishonesty is a useful way to get what they want from men. |
The "emotional uncertainty" that men experience so little (as you're saying) is, IMO, explained by the fact that while women think Long Term and are prudent evaluating a mate, men think about the Short Term and its possible pleasures with a woman . So imo, men experience less emotional uncertainty..b/c it's NOT always emotional uncertainty that they experience ...but something else  They kind of care less about emotions and more about...you know what.
btw, what is it that women want from men? And just curious, while women are such calculated creatures, men are totally unselfish individuals who don't want anything from women? |
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slowmutant
Templar Knight
Joined: Feb 14, 2008
Posts: 5121
Location: Ontario Canada
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| Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 11:15 am Post subject: |
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Misogyny would have gotten you to the top of the world had you lived around 1800
Today, misogyny as personal philosophy won't get you far. |
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frankcritic
Snowy Owl
Joined: Apr 25, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 145
Location: United States, AR
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| Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 11:22 am Post subject: |
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Amazing that we have have a threat entitled as this one is and not have anyone overreacting or getting all emotional. Aspies are fun that way.
Anyway, I'm a misanthrope, not a misogynist. Women are evil, but no moreso than men. In fact, I'll clarify further. Statements like, "Women are evil," are generalizations. Of course not all women are evil, just all the ones I've had a significant relationship with. Going forward I get told not all women are like that, but here's the thing. I don't get to find that out in advance as an aspie. Intuition about that sort of thing or seeing the signs...isn't that precisely what us aspies can't do? So we're flying blind out there, and my previous experience shows I'm certainly guilty of horrible judgment on this count in the past. That's what's hopeful about dating an aspie woman. There's at least a greater chance that she'll be straightforward about herself and rational.
-Frank |
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slowmutant
Templar Knight
Joined: Feb 14, 2008
Posts: 5121
Location: Ontario Canada
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| Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 11:26 am Post subject: |
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Don't hold your breath about Aspie women. I can't tell you how relieved I am to learn you're not a misogynist but merely a misanthrope. Who would even know the difference?
Go ahead and wow them with your misanthropism and hatred. |
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northern_light_girl
Snowy Owl
Joined: Mar 29, 2008
Posts: 141
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| Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 11:37 am Post subject: |
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| frankcritic wrote: | That's what's hopeful about dating an aspie woman. There's at least a greater chance that she'll be straightforward about herself and rational.
-Frank |
Frank, "know thyself" is a very hard to accomplish thing. Are you sure you know what you want? That this definition of what you want won't evolve, change? The more rational you are, IMO, the greater the prudence when entering a relationship. I don't think people are either good or bad when assessing a relationship. This is a part of us that's harder to pin down, love is a mysterious thing, isn't it? When you try to shove too much logic into love...I don't know. Love can't be forced. It can be tried but if the chemistry isn't right, it won't work no matter how much we rationalize things and try to place blame. The blame might be that we didn't recognize that it wasn't working and we kept at it for various reasons...but the sheer lack of chemistry isn't something that we can take or place blame for. My 10 cents. |
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D1nk0
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 12, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 1589
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| Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 11:52 am Post subject: |
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| northern_light_girl wrote: | | D1nk0 wrote: | | But the emotional uncertainty of women seems to be much greater and more common than emotional uncertainty in men. Im saying the learn that dishonesty is a useful way to get what they want from men. |
The "emotional uncertainty" that men experience so little (as you're saying) is, IMO, explained by the fact that while women think Long Term and are prudent evaluating a mate, men think about the Short Term and its possible pleasures with a woman . So imo, men experience less emotional uncertainty..b/c it's NOT always emotional uncertainty that they experience ...but something else They kind of care less about emotions and more about...you know what.
btw, what is it that women want from men? And just curious, while women are such calculated creatures, men are totally unselfish individuals who don't want anything from women? |
Men ARE selfish! What the Hell makes you assume that I was implying that one sex is more selfish than the other?
You arent deliberately misinterpreting what Im saying now are you(?). There is an age-old myth promulaged in american culture that women are somehow less selfish than men and more altruistic than men....nothing could be further from the truth.
Im so Sick and Tired of the portrayal of women as saints and men as being mean, cruel, and selfish. I think we ALL know about the things that men are capable of and furthermore, men's selfishness is extremely obvious. Women seem to be much better at concealing their selfishness than men. Also Merle and Norther_light_girl: keep in mind that we are really talking about the behaviour of young women and not middle-aged women. I conjecture that the gender gap is at its widest during young adulthood(early 20s to be exact) and once people reach their 40s, 50s, and beyond the gender gap starts to close. Ive noticed that woman who are beyond reproductive age(post-menopause) often dont seem to feel nearly as estranged from men and dont
bother to go man-bashing or bitch about men anymore. What I notice is that women seem to take longer than men to figure out what it is they really want from the opposite sex. Sounds like the girl that KenM was dealing with hasnt gotten to that point yet in her life. |
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frankcritic
Snowy Owl
Joined: Apr 25, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 145
Location: United States, AR
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| Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 12:27 pm Post subject: |
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Well, when I say hopeful I'm just talking about even beginning to imagine any sort of possibility. My plan and my expectation remains to stay alone, which is probably for the best on many levels. Aspie women need not worry about my concept of love, my misanthropy, or my hatred. All are benign and result in little more than a bitter man being alone in a room for a long time.
-Frank |
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northern_light_girl
Snowy Owl
Joined: Mar 29, 2008
Posts: 141
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| Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 1:46 pm Post subject: |
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| D1nk0 wrote: |
You arent deliberately misinterpreting what Im saying now are you(?). There is an age-old myth promulaged in american culture that women are somehow less selfish than men and more altruistic than men....nothing could be further from the truth.
Im so Sick and Tired of the portrayal of women as saints and men as being mean, cruel, and selfish. I think we ALL know about the things that men are capable of and furthermore, men's selfishness is extremely obvious. Women seem to be much better at concealing their selfishness than men.
Also Merle and Norther_light_girl: keep in mind that we are really talking about the behaviour of young women and not middle-aged women. |
wow
Are you accusing me of playing some game and deliberately misinterpreting stuff? It's how I interpreted what you have said, based on the words you have chosen.
I have never heard of the myth you have mentioned. That is the truth. I have not grown up or developped the idea that women are from Venus, men are from Mars...I think it's about people in general. I do not think that men are less selfish, more selfish or less UNCERTAIN! Lol, men are just as uncertain as everybody else. And do NOT get me started on how guys under 25 are (and here I mean NT)! Talk about UNCERTAINTY..actually talk about a complete lack of desire to commit to anything (except for committment to having FUN). Not even guys older than 25 aren't that ready or eager to commit. Most say that but what they mean is they want FUN and as little headache as possible. Now I am personally NOT bothered but I imagine many young women looking to settle down are. Women (young ones) are NAIVE, I think. If they believe that the men interested in them have the best of intentions, well..they wake up from the dream eventually. I think as a woman, as you grow older you become more aware of how "good" a guy's intentions are, you become a better bs detector. |
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D1nk0
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 12, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 1589
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| Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 3:37 pm Post subject: |
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I have to wonder if they guys you've know who are commitment shy have something ELSE in common besides just that. Are they the extroverted, assertive type? When they say they just wanna have FUN what they mean is they wanna be what they think is an "alpha-male" who pokes lots of women but doesnt stay in a committed LTR. But you see, Men want SEX and they're very open and honest about it.But I have to tell you-what Im starting to learn is that a LOT more young (NT)Women(in their 20s) dont really want commitment any more than (NT)Men do! Suprise suprise folks . There IS a cultural bias thats in favor of male promiscuity and scornful of female promiscuity; but that doesnt seem to be stopping a lot of modern young women from sleeping around when they can and they feel like it  . I wonder if it comes from the feminist belief that being promiscuous makes you a "sexually liberated" woman......  . I have to wondef if you've come into contact with bipolar guys northern_light_girl cuz I have met a bunch of bipolar people and lemme tell ya-they are NOTORIOUS for their impulsive promiscuity(when its untreated). Ironically I am usually the one who wants a committed relationship and its the woman who's scared off by that from me and refused to give up her "freedom". I wonder why you are so defensive of NT women..... |
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MissConstrue
Aquarius
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 10862
Location: Anywhere but HERE!
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| Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 3:50 pm Post subject: |
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Hmmm, where's Satan when I need him, he knows how to do deal with all this whining and misery. All you have to do is sell your soul to his greatness in Hell for all eternity, and then he'll grant you your specific wish. 
_________________
Oh you can't help that. We're all mad here.
__Cheshire the Cat
6thSin:Envy |
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northern_light_girl
Snowy Owl
Joined: Mar 29, 2008
Posts: 141
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| Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 3:55 pm Post subject: |
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| D1nk0 wrote: | I wonder if it comes from the feminist belief that being promiscuous makes you a "sexually liberated" woman...... .
I have to wondef if you've come into contact with bipolar guys northern_light_girl cuz I have met a bunch of bipolar people and lemme tell ya-they are NOTORIOUS for their impulsive promiscuity(when its untreated). Ironically I am usually the one who wants a committed relationship and its the woman who's scared off by that from me and refused to give up her "freedom". I wonder why you are so defensive of NT women..... |
I don't know about that, where does male promiscuity come from? What's the male equivalent of "feminism" Anyway, this is off topic, Aspies are not famous for such affairs, I think.
O ho hoooo, so NT or non-NT guys who engage in impulsive promiscuity have an excuse, poor babies...they're bi-polar. Funny how there are 1000 excuses for their behaviour. No, I'd say they're just being guys. Young guys. Not ready for anything. Until they hit 25+ they're rarely looking for some deep, meaningful relationship (they might actually get into one but not mindfully, consciously really need it and thus look for it..they might be just lucky to find it anyway and settle down). I don't know any bi-polar people. The type I have encountered are indeed alpha-male, extroverted types. Pretty healthy emotionally:) And what I have said of them was not a critique. It was just a counter-example to your view. I think 25 is about the right age to settle down, male or female.
I think the issue with the girls not wanting to give up their freedom is not the main issue here...I mean in your case you mentioned something about volatile temper. That's the issue. This perception (I mean you did mention you're a nice guy but come off as agressive, so it must be a perception not reality). It has nothing to do with the female kind, with age, with promiscuity etc...if a perceived agression scares them, that's that. You should be sweeter |
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Bopkasen
Deinonychus
Joined: Jul 06, 2006
Posts: 399
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| Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 4:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Shayne wrote: | i maintain my less harsh point of view on this. i'm not disagreeing with what Kip is saying at all, i think it's very interesting to hear this point of view from someone with more real perspective.
i would like to point out though, how can we expect any better when there is so little productive edjucation on how they should deal with their feelings. all of these things are reactions to their feelings and insecurities and most of these reactions are learned.
where's the intervention and edjucation that shows them a respectful way to act? a lot of people just don't have that.
otherwise they can only learn the hard way, which means doing the wrong thing until they figure it out. and this is something so complicated that it's hard to figure out just by doing. especially since the nature of the behavior is so deceptive. it's hard to pull truth out of deception alone. |
Well certainly, you likely to find more "bad girls" in bar, it doesn't matter what people think.
Don't watch Hollywood movie, not all movie contains guide to find a girl.
If you want to find a girl, find them in regular place that you see them everyday. Don't be a stranger and ask them out. Nobody like stranger.
Girl that are liar, lack of intelligent, and collecting welfare are more likely to be a whore. Not all girls that are liar, lack of intelligent, and collecting welfare like whore but you getting a more likely odd if they have those area. |
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MysteryFan3
Ex-COBOL dinosaur. roar.
Joined: Jun 09, 2007
Age: 51
Posts: 1358
Location: Indiana
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| Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 9:16 pm Post subject: |
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| MissConstrue wrote: | | Hmmm, where's Satan when I need him, he knows how to do deal with all this whining and misery. All you have to do is sell your soul to his greatness in Hell for all eternity, and then he'll grant you your specific wish. |
Delish! 
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To eliminate poverty, you have to eliminate at least three things: time, the bell curve and the Pauli Exclusion Principle. Have fun. |
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