Do you think my family has disowned me for being unemployed?

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Brittany2907
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20 May 2008, 5:36 am

pat666rick wrote:
Do you think my family has disowned me for being unemployed?

I have been unemployed for 3 years now (since leaving school when I was 18). Since then I haven't talked to any of my family members (except for my mother, father, brother and sister). Nobody in my family (including my close family) knows about my aspergers/PDD NOS. I tried getting a "real" job once shortly after leaving school (when I hadn't even heard of aspergers yet) but I knew the job wasn't right for me so I quit. Should I feel guilty about not having a job? Do you think that my family has disowned me since I've been jobless for so long? (they most likely know about me being unemployed by now I assume). Me not having a job really angers me because I'd be 100x more capable of holding jobs than the majority of NT's if I didn't have aspergers. I am a quick learner and you could consider me as being a true master when it comes to certain subjects (computers, literature, music, electronics, film, etc.)

Anyways, do you think my family has disowned me? I'd feel pretty bad if they did because it wouldn't really be fair. If they knew about my aspergers/PDD NOS would they not disown me anymore for being unemployed?


Disowned you? Probably not. Dissappointed in you? Likely.
People's families expect their relatives to work when they reach a certain age (if they are capable) and if they don't, regardless of the explanation, they generally turn to the idea that they are lazy or simply not trying hard enough.
Is it any fault of yours that your family thinks like this? No. It's just the way society has taught them to think.

You say that if they knew about your AS/PDD-NOS they would not disown you for being unemployed...so why not tell them that you suspect you have it? It makes sense.


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lastcrazyhorn
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03 Jun 2008, 9:59 pm

When I graduated college, I got a lot of this same kind of flak. I got my undergrad in instrumental music education, but after a near disastrous student teaching, I decided that maybe that direction wasn't for me. However, I had become interested in music therapy by about March of my senior year and started thinking about doing that instead. Unfortunately, I made my decision too late and missed all the application deadlines. So I graduated and passed student teaching (mostly by promising never to set foot in another classroom), and then was unemployed for about 6 months. Following that, I got a job in a gas station and worked there for the next 6 months. The worst feedback I got was from my mom. Her favorite seemed to be this comment: "Well, what are you going to do if you go to grad school, finish the work, and then decide not to pursue your field again?"


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ignisfatuus
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05 Jun 2008, 3:49 am

Quote:
Don't use Aspergers as an excuse to do nothing in life


You're right in the sense that a person shouldn't give up but you're wrong in your assumption that Asperger's doesn't affect acquiring and keeping a job. Not everyone suffers from the same symptoms, and some struggle more than others. Your situation is not that of everyone else.

It saps every ounce of energy out of me just interacting with people, never mind having to keep up with deadlines, claw the way up the corporate hierarchy, etc. It has nothing to do with holding out to find the "ideal" job.


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