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ClosetAspy
Deinonychus
Joined: Jan 17, 2008
Age: 51
Posts: 355
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 Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 7:46 pm Post subject: |
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Most of my traveling has been solo, mainly because I am very independent and don't like catering to others' whims. I have found that when you are with someone all of a sudden things you want to do, you find you can't do them because the other person doesn't want to do them or if they do decide to go along with it, they let you know that they are really making a sacrifice. I like the freedom of making my own decisions.
Also, I find it much easier to talk to strangers when I am out on the road, mainly because I will never see these people again, so I don't have to put up with them sitting in judgement on me like I do with people at home. You know, the God she's weird sort of thing. I can be anonymous, invisible. |
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merrymadscientist
Deinonychus
Joined: Dec 19, 2007
Posts: 301
Location: UK
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| Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 4:20 pm Post subject: |
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I spent a year travelling, although I was with my (ex) husband at the time, not solo. It was fantastic. Travelling had become one of my obsessions.We spent most of the time in Asia. In Thailand there are loads of backpackers, but you dont really have to get to know them or socialise with them at all. In fact, apart from a few organised trips we did, we didnt really speak to other backpackers much. In some way this was a little disappointing - I had sort of imagined that we might meet some really interesting people and make some friends, but as it turned out we didnt make any. Maybe it was because we were two and a single person would have more luck, or maybe it was just both of us being socially awkward, particularly me, that we never really worked out how to connect with people on the road. Even for a month on a bus in N Zealand I never got to the stage of being comfortable speaking to any of the other travellers.
India is a bit different from SE Asia. There are far fewer backpackers and as a woman I was very glad to not have gone alone. It is possible, but the amount of hassle you have to put up with as a single woman makes the experience quite unpleasant and exhausting. Even with my husband we had a few hairy moments - however, this is what makes the experience worthwhile. My husband hated the dirt and discomfort, whereas for me it was part of the experience. I loved going on the overcrowded (and dangerous) trains, eating the street food (I have a strong stomach) and being able to navigate my way around Delhi or Bangkok without a map (I am good at memorising places).
There were disadvantages of travelling together - we did disagree a lot (I had read all the guidebooks as part of my obsession and planned the route and wanted to decide everything my way, which was selfish, but my husband had had no interest in the planning) and you will not have this problem. However, it was useful to have someone else to rely on in case of emergency (I am not good in emergencies) and just to have someone familier to talk to and feel safe with in unfamilier places. |
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crackedpleasures
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 14, 2007
Posts: 1689
Location: travelling (currently Berlin, longing for the Middle East)
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| Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 10:12 pm Post subject: |
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I have travelled to several cities alone (Liverpool, Birmingham, Manchester, Leeds, Oslo, Amsterdam , ... to name just a few) and emigrated 4x in the last few years, each time by myself. Probably emigrating yet again soon. Apart from the situation in which I'd have a girlfriend travelling with me, I would not want it any other way than to relocate and travel alone. I enjoy it, in a way I like it to be out there on my own with just my destinations and local people to focus on.
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Keep it flaming your desire, always rising high, aim for stars and hit the sky!
(Echo & The Bunnymen = gods amongst men) |
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Robbin
Emu Egg
Joined: Jun 10, 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 10:05 pm Post subject: |
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One of the traits which makes me the special person that I am, is that I don't get lost.
I've slept in 42 states ... some day I'll pick up the other 7, leaving only California which
I hear is really not another state, its an alien planet.
I did western Europe on my own on a bicycle as a teenager, have since been back many times
on business. One of my more favorite trips was a stay in Estonia.
then I was offered a chance to go and stay with a native family in a small town in Ethiopia.
I can understand why this might not appeal to everyone, but it sure was the trip of my life!
Here I am, 7 years later, marking time waiting up for my wife
that I met on that trip,
and contemplating our uniqueness.
While most everyone has always treated me like I am inside out,
I figured out quite awhile ago that I'm the one who has it right,
and this is such a good example.
Ethiopian is the land of plenty, the USA is the land of scarcity.
The people of Ethiopia are extraordinarily beautiful, kind, affectionate and sensuous,
incurable optimists.
The people of the USA are always obsessing over shortages, lack of money,
lack of resources, diseases, labels,
problems, anxieties, worries, personality flaws, and the like.
Does anyone here see that? |
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Triangular_Trees
What is right is sometimes found on the left.
Joined: Jul 18, 2007
Posts: 2008
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| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 10:14 pm Post subject: Re: Solo travelling |
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| dustbowlrefugee wrote: | Not sure if this is the best place to post this or not...
Has anybody ever went travelling on their own? Would you do it, and could you do it? I want to see so much, I love travelling but in the past it had always been with my parents or friends. I'm now considering going off on my own. I know I could manage on my own, I like my own company and dont really get lonely, the thing that is putting me of is the opposite, what if I have to socialise! What do you think, is solo travelling a good or bad idea for somebody socially inept? |
What you could do is look into independent group tours from a company like globus. If you want to hang with the people in your group go for it, but if you want to go out and do your own thing thats your choice too.
My tour wasn't independent and I quickly found a few people I enjoyed spending time with, but I liked circulating throughout the group rather than spending all the time with the same people. i also had plenty of time to do my own thing during the day |
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Greentea
Bull in China Shop par Excellence!
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2187
Location: Middle East
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| Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 6:21 pm Post subject: |
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BEWARE SOLO TRAVELING !!!!!!!!!
It's addictive.
I did it once, only because I was desperate for a vacation and had spent years hoping to have someone agree to go somewhere with me, unsuccessfully. I can now NEVER go back to traveling with people. Solo traveling is not only wonderful, but the best thing life has to offer. It's what I live for.
I've perfected the art, and have even sold an article on how to travel within Israel as a solo woman and have a wonderful (and safest) time spending very little money.
Not everyone will enjoy solo traveling. The very basic self-test before embarking on any solo trips is:
1. Can you trust yourself with the financial, safety and schedule aspects? (If not, stay home. You'll get in more trouble than you'll have fun)
2. Do you have a rich, rewarding relationship with your inner self? (It can get very lonely if you can't count on yourself for interesting dialogue now and then)
3. Do you have a sense of wonder about the world? (a blah feeling during a trip easily leads to feelings of loneliness and desperation at any difficulties you might encounter)
Crucial most basic tips for a wonderful solo trip:
1. Don't get out of the house without an EXCELLENT map (the best you can find) and study it for months before the trip, know it almost by heart.
2. Don't eat at restaurants (it gives you a very lonely feeling), but join the locals where they go for the typical fast food (souvlaki in Greece, falafel in Israel, cold meat cuts in Spanish markets, etc.) I even research and plan ahead when and where I'll eat each day, so I make sure not to miss the interesting food and food joints, and so eating is not a lonely experience but an experience I look forward to.
3. Prepare a very detailed schedule for each hour of each day (even if you decide not to follow it when you're there). A feeling of having a busy plan of things you """"have to"""" do that day prevents any loneliness and emptiness that might encroach)
Less crucial, but also good tips:
1. Engage in your hobby during the trip (Photography, collecting phone cards, babbling at strangers in their language, writing a diary, sketching the landscape, researching some subject you're interested in, etc.) This prevents loneliness and a feeling of pointlessness that might appear at times, especially evenings.
2. Research your destination thoroughly before the trip, especially if you're a woman, like me, for minimal risk-taking. Study the bus / train schedules.
3. Try to stay at cheap, yet picturesque and safe bed and breakfasts- rather than hotels. The owners will feel a bit like family and much less cold than a formal hotel. I've invariably felt lonely at hotels, and wonderful at bed and breakfasts (while spending much less too).
4. Use Let's Go traval guides. I never go out of the house without them. It's written like a friend would talk to you during a trip, without embellishing anything. The only solo trip I didn't enjoy was the one I made without Let's Go. It'll end up saving you every dollar it costs. They say this, and I can confirm it's true. They send their employees off to the destinations with very little money, on purpose so they'll come back full of tips of how to have a good time with little money. And no, I don't work for them. I wish!
5. Do ONLY what YOU enjoy and f**k what others think you should visit. I used to know someone who'd cram lots of boring museums into her trips (out of a feeling of cultural obligation), and then she'd have boring, frustrating holidays. If watching stray dogs on the street is your thing, plan to go where you'll find them. If what makes you happy is sitting under a tree for 10 days in a row, choose a destination with lovely trees and do just that.
6. Strangely, the less money you spend the more interesting (and less lonely) an experience you'll have. Hotels, taxis, restaurants - aargh, depress me when I'm traveling solo. Buses, b&Bs and local food joints are exhilarating, however.
6. If you want to go somewhere exotic and exciting, but feel a bit apprehensive about it, come here. I promise to give you a friendly hug and buy you a beer / cup of green tea if you find the time to get lonely or afraid 
_________________
"It is the wounded oyster that mends its shell with pearl" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Last edited by Greentea on Wed Jun 11, 2008 8:40 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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BoabDil
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 10, 2008
Posts: 211
Location: Denmark
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| Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 8:10 pm Post subject: |
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Ive spent a large part of my life travelling both business and pleassure and what I can say is that the best trips are those ive done alone.
Travelling with someone (my now ex-wife) or as part of a group always ended up as photo sightseeing and walking into the worst tourist traps. I dont bring a camera, my memory has never failed me, and I dont care much for the famous places (except for historic value).
To travel alone means I can sit down and observe the life around me. Ok, in the beginning I may stand out (tall blond scandinavian) but after a while i become part of the scenery and people ignore me. My best travel memories are of spending a day watching a busy market in Syria, walking the narrow streets filled with music in Habana and a week of complete isolation on the Faroe Island.
Socialising has never been necessary unless i desired it. I do like to meet locals, preferably the odd and the old but I stay far away from any fellow tourists and nothing can ruin my day more than to hear someone speak danish.
So my advice must be - do it. Alone you make the rules and as for diseases you just need a good level of common sense and toilet paper.
B |
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penny07960
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jun 10, 2008
Age: 44
Posts: 154
Location: US - right coast
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| Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 1:20 pm Post subject: go for it! |
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I have traveled alone, mostly on business, and for the most part have thought it was fun. The worst part for me is renting cars at airports. Driving around in strange places causes me some anxiety; you have to read signs and make decisions so quickly!
On a trip to Oakland, CA, I drove the 4-hour+ route to Yosemite National Park myself – and was horrified to find that the road (route 120?) took me way up in mountains on roads that did not even have a guard rail! 
But I look back on that as one of the great adventures of my life. The Park was amazing, and I would probably never have seen it if I hadn’t taken the chance.
Go for it! |
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Greentea
Bull in China Shop par Excellence!
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2187
Location: Middle East
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| Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 1:47 pm Post subject: |
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Good for you, Penny!!!!!!
For me too, the worst part is having to rent a car and make quick decisions in front of traffic signs that are invariably unclear. In the south of France it was hell - the signs were all placed at the tip of a road junction where you didn't know if they were pointing one way or the other. I got so lost on the first of the 2 rental days that I returned the car the next morning even though there was no refund.
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"It is the wounded oyster that mends its shell with pearl" - Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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ouinon
chemical reaction
Joined: Jul 11, 2007
Posts: 3127
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| Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 3:26 pm Post subject: |
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Brilliant post, Greentea.
I fail on almost all the counts.
I always spent what money I had too fast, was left with little or nothing for second halves of travel periods, and anything I planned, confidently beforehand, or feverishly in notebooks once there, had only a sketchy/ghostly effect on my actions.
However I have always loved maps, and used to do a good smile and mimic greetings and expressions/gestures "charmingly".
As a result of poor budget-control, little idea about safety, and no scheduling skills I have, ( amongst other easier/pleasanter/more normal "holiday" things), ended up hitching many times, ( a lone woman, with the perspective on male behaviour that this provides!    ) , sleeping rough , begging, looking for food in bins, drinking lots of alcohol so that could hang out with people, been very anxious, overspent on expensive rooms to make up for awful experiences, slept in stations, drunk too much alcohol and smoked dope with groups hanging out in stations and on beaches so would have company sleeping rough, etc.
I have felt terribly alone and pointless/purposeless. I have felt like exploding campsites because of the noise, been sick, and ill, and without sleep till I heard imaginary conversations in the sound of a train.
But whereas I can hardly remember 20 things clearly about a job I had for 3 years ( 15 years ago) I remember hours and days of things that I experienced while travelling. Travel is like a huge treasure chest in my mind.
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"Life is pain; anyone who says different is selling something"
Last edited by ouinon on Sun Jun 15, 2008 6:00 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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pi_woman
Sea Gull
Joined: May 16, 2006
Age: 48
Posts: 229
Location: In my own little world
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| Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 4:50 pm Post subject: |
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Definitely alone. I used to travel extensively for work.
Travelling alone means you don't have to coordinate/negotiate your eating, sleeping, recreation and conversation preferences with someone else (whose preferences are likely to be very different even if they're AS). Since I'm not a co-dependent twit who needs to share and get feedback on every inane thing that crosses my mind, the only major drawback that occurs to me is there's no one to help carry or watch the luggage.
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Fides solus |
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Greyhound
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 10, 2008
Posts: 502
Location: Birmingham, UK
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| Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 4:51 pm Post subject: |
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I'd like to go travelling on my own. Just in Britain. Do a bit of walking and camping.
I might feel lonely, but being with other people might spoil it too, so I don't know.
My parents say I can't though. I'm nineteen and I'm strong. What's the point in living if you can't feel alive? There's danger in everything. Why try and hide from it?
Sorry if that's a bit disjointed. I'm tired lol
_________________
I don't have Aspergers, I'm just socially inept
Diagnosed: Tourette syndrome
Suspected: auditory processing disorder, synaesthesia
Also: social, attention and organisation problems |
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Greentea
Bull in China Shop par Excellence!
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2187
Location: Middle East
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| Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 8:12 pm Post subject: |
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Danger and not going anywhere are two extremes. Sounds like you and your parents could reach a happy medium, such as you do go alone but remain within safe boundaries. Some places are very safe if you're a sensible person. And as I said before, if you're not a sensible person, don't go alone.
As for traveling with others, some of the nightmares I've heard about and experienced myself:
- The sunbather - You want to explore and learn as much as possible, they want to lie on the beach under the scorching sun for 10 days in a row, then get wasted with alcohol every night, and will be passive-aggressive to you if you don't lie by their side on the beach and get wasted with them all the time.
- The thrifty - They won't eat a normal, hot meal in 10 days and what's worse, will have a tantrum if you want to sit at a restaurant at least once every few days.
- The trouble-finder - They keep getting in all kinds of trouble and you both waste invaluable touring time, the prime of day-time light, trying to solve his lost credit card, stolen passport, stomach problems, obsessive worry about something back home and constant looking for cheap phone service to phone home, etc.)
- The heart-breaker - They suddenly, irresistibly, inevitably and terminally need to break the news that your relationship / friendship is over - in the middle of the trip, and ruin your trip mood.
- The miser - They're so stingy that you miss out on the good things to see and experience so they won't whine forever for your "making them" spend a couple dollars.
- The orthodox believer - The whole trip needs to be arranged around their religious habits / supposed allergies / irrational beliefs / special diets (such as no vegs and no meat. I actually know someone who won't eat either vegs or meat !, no fats or oils, etc.) / fussy eaters. They'll waste your day since breakfast looking for a place suitable for them to have dinner 10 hours later.
- the snorer - 10 sleepless nights due to their heavy snoring / impossibility to sleep without the radio on / sneezing all night.
- the whiner - whatever happens, it's not good enough and they whine, whine, whine you down to a nervous breakdown on the 9th, night.
- the hipocondriac - most of the time is spent in hospitals accompanying them about some imaginary / exaggerated disease they've caught in this strange, unclean country.
- the sleazy - they seem to believe other world populations have better sex. The moment you two set on your way, they start having sexual experiences and disturbing your sleep, timetables, plans, peace of mind. Or their stranger dates steal your watch in the hotel room.
- the boredom sufferer - you're spending your 3-year savings and annual leave on this, but you don't have time to enjoy the places because the boredom sufferer is always rushing you to drop whatever you are doing and go somewhere else - they're constantly bored.
- the unloyal travel companion - they're on the lookout and at some point find a better travel companion, dumping you in a double occupancy hotel room and alone.
- the guilt-ridden - they'll drag you to every boring thing there is to see at the destination, because that's what their parents would've gone to see.
- the dependent - they won't separate for a minute, they can't pee alone, can't let you go at your own pace in a museum, you have to look at the same paintings together or they'll accuse you of selfishness and complain that "this is not working between us".
- the burgeois - they can't care less to explore, experience and learn. They believe a trip is a spa. Hours and hours of your precious, expensive time is spent sitting at unnecessarily expensive characterless restaurants, taking long showers and blow-drying their hair in the hotel room, sleeping in, and God forbid you want to go explore some place while they're at it.
- the ""independent"" - you hardly see them. While you didn't prepare for a solo trip, they surprise you by exposing the theory, once you reach the destination, that it's healthy to be independent and they disappear on day one. You find yourself traveling alone, unplanned for.
- the doom-sayers - anything you want to explore will be a tourist trap, a rip-off, a crime-scene, too crowded, too cold and windy.
- the escapists - they'll be on their mobile phones on endless inane conversations with people back home, and oblivious to their surroundings, as you strain to hear Mozart in Salszburg, see the David sculpture in Florence, and any crucial life moments, making the atmosphere an anti-climax.
- the over-adventurous - they'll try to drag you into all kinds of unnecessary trouble and call you boring if you don't follow suit.
- the contras - they seem to have a compulsion to visit precisely the places that are NOT the attractions of the area (will drag you to Buffalo city and make you miss the Niagara Falls, drag you to see a Hollywood movie in the time / with the money you had to spend on watching the Eiffel Tower lights flicker on the Seine river, will nudge you till you give up and go window-shopping instead of visiting the Vatican).
- the time-wasters - will arrive late to any meeting point you've arranged, making you waste your invaluable sightseeing time. Or will not turn up, making you spend an invaluable half day looking for them and worrying. This breed has practically become extinct in the cell phone era, but it used to be the most common one.
- the chronically fatigued - will cancel your plans in the last minute to stay in the hotel and rest - all day, every day. And will make a fuss if you want to go out and explore on your own while they rest.
- the hidden agenda holder - once you arrive at the destination, they surprise you by revealing they chose it because there's someone there they've been wanting to visit. You hardly see them again during the trip, they're too busy with their destination hosts.
- the consumers - if it doesn't cost money, can't be bought and brought back home and is not inside a store, it bores them to death. f**k the birds and the trees, the Art, the culture, the people-watching, the atmosphere absorbing. Give them SHOPPING all day and night long.
- the "good girls" and "good boys". They are compulsively good, to the point they spoil all your fun. They won't do anything that is not widely accepted and ""äppropriate""", won't pee under a tree in an isolated place and will drag you away 20 miles to pee at the hotel instead. They'll sit at any restaurant they're beckoned to by some tourist trap waiter because they're afraid to offend/disappoint the waiter, they won't sneak into interesting places such as private parties in open places, because it might be forbidden / not well seen / someone might get angry. They won't push any boundaries, try to get something for free feigning not understanding the language, try to get into a fancy hotel to sightsee if not properly dressed - because it's "not nice". They compulsively need to ingratiate themselves with strangers - waiters, hotel staff, strangers in the street, however much it makes them miss out on the fun. They'll often make you lose precious time while they listen attentively to some stranger tell their boring story --- out of """politeness""". Then they'll be total jerks to you, but that's OK because you're a close relation so you can take it.
- the Greenteas - will send you packing if you are any of the above and will continue the trip on their own, cut their losses and see at least something of what they're paying for, leaving you to whine to yourself and call them nasty and rude if you want.
More life-long friends than I care to count never talked to each other again after a trip together.
Now...travel solo anyone?
_________________
"It is the wounded oyster that mends its shell with pearl" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Last edited by Greentea on Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:16 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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BoabDil
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 10, 2008
Posts: 211
Location: Denmark
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| Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 8:33 pm Post subject: |
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Thank you Greentea  I really needed a good laugh before bed.
Most of those sound terribly familiar and yes, I will never travel with anyone again!!
The only 1 I can add is the egotist, who after you have pushed the trolley with luggage what seems like 3 km through Frankfurt airport, refuses to watch your backpack while you visit the toilet.
but hmmm who am i then? I cant be perfect ok Ive been known to snore  |
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Greentea
Bull in China Shop par Excellence!
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2187
Location: Middle East
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| Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 8:57 pm Post subject: |
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Awww...thanks for adding your own !!!
I hadn't realized my post was funny, but now I see how much yours made me laugh too.
The selfish is certainly one of the main categories, if not the main one.
Which reminds me of...
the bookkeeper - the Mona Lisa passes them by and they don't notice, busy as they are at the Louvre in Paris, pen to little notebook, calculating whether you owe them a dime now or they owe you. They refuse to set up a joint wallet for identical expenses such as mineral water, hotel bills and train fares, so the trip becomes one exhausting book-keeping experience.
_________________
"It is the wounded oyster that mends its shell with pearl" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Last edited by Greentea on Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:41 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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