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| What is my main obstacle? |
| Too honest |
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8% |
[ 6 ] |
| Geographical location |
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8% |
[ 6 ] |
| Don't have similar interests as anyone |
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13% |
[ 9 ] |
| Don't have the right personality |
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10% |
[ 7 ] |
| Something else |
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59% |
[ 41 ] |
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| Total Votes : 69 |
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| Author |
Message |
Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 22430
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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 Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 4:31 am Post subject: |
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It's not that I can't attract anyone, it's that they are either:
a) conservative
b) aren't ready for a commitment, and set lengthy (and totally arbitrary) time periods for when they will be ready.
c) polar opposites of me
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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sgrannel
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 21, 2008
Posts: 562
Location: USA
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 6:01 am Post subject: |
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| Tim_Tex wrote: | | I am currently a college student, and I am 5'10" and 190 lbs. |
You appear reasonably good looking, like me. However, you should consider getting your weight back into the healthy range (unless you're all muscle) for reasons that have nothing to do with getting someone else to like you.
But it doesn't matter how you look, how much weight you lose, how you change your hair color, you will have trouble with finding suitable dates if you (1) don't have an income and (2) restrict your choices to the rare and far outnumbered aspie girls. Your looks will matter about as much to her as her income matters to you. Good character is not restricted to the AS world. Without an income you won't get past the first challenge a woman will usually put before you to trip over, and neither will I.
Think about it. If you got someone pregnant, would you be prepared to house and provide for the woman and child? Maybe you don't think that way but a lot of women do. Negotiating power comes from having something someone else wants. Get an income going first before attempting to find a mate, because you will have to do that anyway for your own benefit. The higher the income, the better the girl you can get, so put your education to good use!
Sure it's shallow, and yes, you must acknowledge that your negotiating power will be derived at least in part from something other than what makes you who you are as a person. It sucks, but that's how it is. Some residual level of gold-diggery may be the unavoidable price you'll have to pay for your participation in this game. Just don't give it away for free, OK?
_________________
White coats to bind me
out of control, I live alone inside my mind
World of confusion, air filled with noise
who says that my life's such a crime?
Last edited by sgrannel on Sun Jun 22, 2008 5:17 am; edited 1 time in total |
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MishLuvsHer2Boys
Proud Mom to 2 boys
Joined: Oct 09, 2004
Posts: 2122
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 7:10 am Post subject: |
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| sgrannel wrote: | | Tim_Tex wrote: | | I am currently a college student, and I am 5'10" and 190 lbs. |
You appear reasonably good looking, like me. However, you should consider getting your weight back into the healthy range (unless you're all muscle) for reasons that have nothing to do with getting someone else to like you.
But it doesn't matter how you look, how much weight you lose, how you change your hair color, you will have trouble with finding suitable dates if you (1) don't have an income and (2) restrict your choices to the rare and far outnumbered aspie girls. Your looks will matter about as much to her as her income matters to you. Good character is not restricted to the AS world. Without an income you won't get past the first challenge a woman will usually put before you to trip over, and neither will I.
Think about it. If you got someone pregnant, would you be prepared to house and provide for the woman and child? Maybe you don't think that way but a lot of women do. Negotiating power comes from having something someone else wants. Get an income going first before attempting to find a mate, because you will have to do that anyway for your own benefit. The higher the income, the better the girl you can get, so put your education to good use!
Sure it's shallow, and yes, you must acknowledge that your negotiating power will be derived at least in part from something other than what makes you who you are as a person, but that's how it is. Just don't give it away for free, OK? |
Wow nothing like a hardsell, I'm a female and even I'm not near as picky as you say... to me money isn't everything and all. All the money in the world can help but it's not everything. Sometimes one has to also rethink their ideals too and look outside the range that they normally would too... no matter what their income and all is. If a woman is going to be so shallow as to only think of if the guy can support them and their kids, they can just as easily get a job that does that for themselves if they wish.
Nowadays, one isn't always going to find that person in the same geographic location anymore, especially due to the internet and dating now and all. One has to be willing to say... yeah... I like this person, would I be willing to move to them and do the work to make things happen... if not, then it could be limiting in that way too. |
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Pandora
Cat Lady
Joined: Jun 18, 2005
Age: 47
Posts: 4684
Location: Townsville
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 9:16 am Post subject: |
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| Kilroy wrote: | your a drama queen
girls don't want that
you say "this way or no way"
there's your sign |
Yes - I know this is a male aspie trait but it makes finding a suitable mate so much harder.
If you convince yourself you won't find anybody, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Even if you said, "I might find somebody" - it would be more positive.
_________________
Break out you Western girls,
Someday soon you're gonna rule the world.
Break out you Western girls,
Hold your heads up high.
"Western Girls" - Dragon
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sgrannel
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 21, 2008
Posts: 562
Location: USA
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 4:47 am Post subject: |
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| MishLuvsHer2Boys wrote: | I'm a female and even I'm not near as picky as you say... to me money isn't everything and all. All the money in the world can help but it's not everything. Sometimes one has to also rethink their ideals too and look outside the range that they normally would too... no matter what their income and all is. If a woman is going to be so shallow as to only think of if the guy can support them and their kids, they can just as easily get a job that does that for themselves if they wish.
Nowadays, one isn't always going to find that person in the same geographic location anymore, especially due to the internet and dating now and all. One has to be willing to say... yeah... I like this person, would I be willing to move to them and do the work to make things happen... if not, then it could be limiting in that way too. |
Speak for yourself. Perhaps for you the Vase of Relationship Idealism is not broken. But you're from Canada! A guy from the USA I went to school with married a Canadian woman. He said that women from the USA are, on average, more demanding and materialistic than Canadian women. Might we recommend that Tim Tex should do some looking around in Canada after he graduates from college?
I guess what I am really trying to say, is that people should value each other for who they are as people, and not money, etc. When a woman values a man only for his money, it's just as bad or worse than when a man only values a woman for her various body parts. Either way, the Vase is broke.
When a woman breaks the Vase by being a gold digger, she loses her right to complain when the man she's with uses his economic power to leave her and buy the company of a "better" (whatever that means) woman. When a man breaks the Vase by using his economic power to leave a committed relationship and buy the company of a "better" woman, he loses his right to complain about how the new woman is a gold digger.
Let's all keep the Vase intact. Otherwise we'll just get what we pay for.
_________________
White coats to bind me
out of control, I live alone inside my mind
World of confusion, air filled with noise
who says that my life's such a crime? |
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Rynok
Velociraptor
Joined: Jun 11, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 416
Location: San Antonio, Texas
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 5:59 am Post subject: |
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I doubt women put too much stress on how much money you make. (If they are that concerned, they will be working themselves.)
You just need to be able to support yourself and not be dirt poor.
It isn't the "no income" thing that bothers women, it is the "no chance to earn income". If you beg on the side of the road for cash...that isn't too attractive.
For instance, lots of girls date in high school. Do they only date guys that have jobs and can support them financially? Of coarse not!
The same applies in college. They date you, knowing your getting a degree so you can get a job!
If your 40, living at home, don't have a job, and don't act motivated to get one anytime soon...then good luck to you. |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 22430
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 8:43 am Post subject: |
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| Rynok wrote: | I doubt women put too much stress on how much money you make. (If they are that concerned, they will be working themselves.)
You just need to be able to support yourself and not be dirt poor.
It isn't the "no income" thing that bothers women, it is the "no chance to earn income". If you beg on the side of the road for cash...that isn't too attractive.
For instance, lots of girls date in high school. Do they only date guys that have jobs and can support them financially? Of coarse not!
The same applies in college. They date you, knowing your getting a degree so you can get a job!
If your 40, living at home, don't have a job, and don't act motivated to get one anytime soon...then good luck to you. |
She still has to be an Aspie, though.
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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Metal_Man
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 04, 2007
Age: 41
Posts: 328
Location: A higher state of existance
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 9:44 am Post subject: |
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| Rynok wrote: | | It isn't the "no income" thing that bothers women, it is the "no chance to earn income". |
You hit the nail right on the head with that statement. Tim, you're a nice guy but you're being an idiot. All you do is whine and complain and have these ridiculously rigid criteria as to what you want in a woman. You whine and complain that you've been hurt before but guess what? We all have! Even NT's get hurt too. Get your head out of your rear end, finish school, get a job and start doing something with your life. Women like a man who is at least trying to go somewhere with his life. The fact that you're spinning your wheels and being a crybaby all of the time is what women don't like. If the women in Texas are a bunch of dopes then go somewhere else.
_________________
Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand. Homer J. Simpson |
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Metal_Man
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 04, 2007
Age: 41
Posts: 328
Location: A higher state of existance
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 9:45 am Post subject: |
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| Tim_Tex wrote: | | Rynok wrote: | I doubt women put too much stress on how much money you make. (If they are that concerned, they will be working themselves.)
You just need to be able to support yourself and not be dirt poor.
It isn't the "no income" thing that bothers women, it is the "no chance to earn income". If you beg on the side of the road for cash...that isn't too attractive.
For instance, lots of girls date in high school. Do they only date guys that have jobs and can support them financially? Of coarse not!
The same applies in college. They date you, knowing your getting a degree so you can get a job!
If your 40, living at home, don't have a job, and don't act motivated to get one anytime soon...then good luck to you. |
She still has to be an Aspie, though. |
You still just don't get it.
_________________
Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand. Homer J. Simpson |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 22430
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 10:37 am Post subject: |
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All the female Aspies in my area are spoken for.
However, I am willing to travel.
I do have my priorities straight. I graduate in a year and a half, and it's not like I'm just lazy.
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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Metal_Man
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 04, 2007
Age: 41
Posts: 328
Location: A higher state of existance
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 12:17 pm Post subject: |
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Then quit whining.
_________________
Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand. Homer J. Simpson |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 22430
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 1:58 pm Post subject: |
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Here is my situation in a nutshell:
AS + liberal = either happy being single, or already in a relationship
AS + single and looking = conservative
NT = won't date me because I am "white trash" (meaning "not rich")
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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sgrannel
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 21, 2008
Posts: 562
Location: USA
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 4:52 pm Post subject: |
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| Rynok wrote: | It isn't the "no income" thing that bothers women, it is the "no chance to earn income". If you beg on the side of the road for cash...that isn't too attractive.
The same applies in college. They date you, knowing your getting a degree so you can get a job!
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But the requirement still exists, whether you say the tense is present or future. "Doing something with your life" means having an income. I can show that I have been doing meaningful things with my life (creating new knowledge), income or no. It's written, one can read it. I can show it. But without the money, a woman isn't going to give a rat about what I did or why it's important.
I would say there is about a 90% probability that's Tim's last love interest didn't follow through because he doesn't have an income. Of course, she won't ever admit that, but that's what I infer.
_________________
White coats to bind me
out of control, I live alone inside my mind
World of confusion, air filled with noise
who says that my life's such a crime? |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 22430
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 5:00 pm Post subject: |
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| sgrannel wrote: | | Rynok wrote: | It isn't the "no income" thing that bothers women, it is the "no chance to earn income". If you beg on the side of the road for cash...that isn't too attractive.
The same applies in college. They date you, knowing your getting a degree so you can get a job!
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But the requirement still exists, whether you say the tense is present or future. "Doing something with your life" means having an income. I can show that I have been doing meaningful things with my life (creating new knowledge), income or no. It's written, one can read it. I can show it. But without the money, a woman isn't going to give a rat about what I did or why it's important.
I would say there is about a 90% probability that's Tim's last love interest didn't follow through because he doesn't have an income. Of course, she won't ever admit that, but that's what I infer. |
My last relationship ended because she was very conservative and controlling. I ended that relationship. And I was employed at the time.
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 22430
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 1:06 pm Post subject: |
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I always held a firm policy of not forcing my beliefs on others, but I am reconsidering that now (because all the female Aspie who have the same interests/beliefs as me are all already in relationships, or are happy being single).
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Last edited by Tim_Tex on Mon Jun 23, 2008 1:12 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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