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| What is my main obstacle? |
| Too honest |
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8% |
[ 6 ] |
| Geographical location |
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8% |
[ 6 ] |
| Don't have similar interests as anyone |
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13% |
[ 9 ] |
| Don't have the right personality |
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10% |
[ 7 ] |
| Something else |
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59% |
[ 41 ] |
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| Total Votes : 69 |
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| Author |
Message |
MR_BOGAN
Mysterios Dirty Dancer
Joined: Mar 06, 2008
Age: 30
Posts: 2037
Location: The great trailer park in the sky!
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 Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 3:30 am Post subject: |
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| aylissa wrote: | Tim,
I am sorry you feel hated here. I know there are people here who hate me, so I know the feeling.
I can think of several barriers.
1. Do you think that once a woman shows any interest in you, you're no longer interested? Like you're not worthy of them if they're interested?
2. Texas, as far as I know, is the land of fake women. Maybe geographically you're screwed.
3. Honestly, being unemployed is the kiss of death regarding women. I am in a five year old relationship with a guy who was employed when I met him, and has not been good at bringing much money in to the household, but I put up with that because he tolerates me. But had he been unemployed when I met, well, I wouldn't have even met him.
I lucked out. I went on match.com on a lark, put in the EXACT criteria for "the perfect guy" for me, and he popped up. |
Why would anybody hate Tim.  Tim is a great chap.
I can see where your priorities are.. 
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BigK
Raven
Joined: Jan 14, 2008
Posts: 120
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 6:36 am Post subject: |
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| Tim_Tex wrote: | | I try to be as mature, hard-working, and basically the best role model I can be. I try being myself, and I am always honest (even if I am occasionally too honest). |
Being totally yourself and being brutally honest can be a bit much for some people when you first meet them. It is definitely the NT way.
That does not mean that you should try to be someone you are not but that you could try to tone it down a bit on the first meeting. It takes a while to get to know someone. By the second or third date you can open up more but it easy to be put off by brutal honesty from someone you have only just met.
| Daewoodrow wrote: | pretending to be something you're not actually can work, if you're any good at it. The problem is, it wont create a long lasting and stable relationship.
The difference between an attractive man and an unattractive man is rarely just looks. I get overlooked for less attractive men all the time, and more importantly, equally attractive men. The difference between us was that they knew how to act in the company of others to make women want them.
And this isn't just self-help advice. I've tested it. It wasn't difficult, given my photographic memory and mimicry talent, to spend a week or two observing the behavior of "attractive" men, and then duplicate it and refine it in the presence of others. It was a resounding success. By acting like those people I loathe, women are finally paying attention to me. As a result of this revelation, I have decided I do not wish to date anymore. I'll be staying single for as long as it takes for me to naturally meet a woman who is actually compatible with me. I'd rather die single than participate in this farce. |
I agree with most of that. But, It is not about pretending to someone that you not but about presenting yourself in the best light. Those guys are probably making the right eye contact, listening as well as talking, presenting the right body language, etc. If you are not showing the correct non verbal signals you could be silently telling people to "go away, I'm not interested". Don't throw away everything that you learned from your test.
Confidence is very important when it comes to how people perceive you. If someone does not seem comfortable with him/herself then they may look like a lot of work. That can put people off on the first meeting. Once they get to know him/her they may feel that they are worth it, but first impressions can often kill the deal. Sometimes you do need to pump yourself up, remind yourself how great you are, that you are as good as anyone. A good run or gym workout can be great for this. (and good shower afterwards  )
If Daewoodrow 'loathes' those guys it is probably because they are over doing it and coming across as over confident or arrogant. But a little confidence is good even if you do have to fake it. Everyone does at times.
@LePetitPrince: If someone thinks first about the money and position then that is not really the person that you want.
Cash may get you dates but won't be enough to get you the person who is right for you.
More money is always nice though |
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Daewoodrow
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Feb 22, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 187
Location: Canterbury, England
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 10:03 am Post subject: |
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| BigK wrote: |
I agree with most of that. But, It is not about pretending to someone that you not but about presenting yourself in the best light. Those guys are probably making the right eye contact, listening as well as talking, presenting the right body language, etc. If you are not showing the correct non verbal signals you could be silently telling people to "go away, I'm not interested". Don't throw away everything that you learned from your test.
Confidence is very important when it comes to how people perceive you. If someone does not seem comfortable with him/herself then they may look like a lot of work. That can put people off on the first meeting. Once they get to know him/her they may feel that they are worth it, but first impressions can often kill the deal. Sometimes you do need to pump yourself up, remind yourself how great you are, that you are as good as anyone. A good run or gym workout can be great for this. (and good shower afterwards )
If Daewoodrow 'loathes' those guys it is probably because they are over doing it and coming across as over confident or arrogant. But a little confidence is good even if you do have to fake it. Everyone does at times.
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Thank you, that was some good advice. I'm continuing the "experiment" now anyway, because I figured I have alot to find out about myself from observing the reactions. But i'll try not to immediately pin the cynical outcome to every result now.
_________________
Umquam sentio nex? |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 22412
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 10:20 am Post subject: |
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| aylissa wrote: | Tim,
I am sorry you feel hated here. I know there are people here who hate me, so I know the feeling.
I can think of several barriers.
1. Do you think that once a woman shows any interest in you, you're no longer interested? Like you're not worthy of them if they're interested?
2. Texas, as far as I know, is the land of fake women. Maybe geographically you're screwed.
3. Honestly, being unemployed is the kiss of death regarding women. I am in a five year old relationship with a guy who was employed when I met him, and has not been good at bringing much money in to the household, but I put up with that because he tolerates me. But had he been unemployed when I met, well, I wouldn't have even met him.
I lucked out. I went on match.com on a lark, put in the EXACT criteria for "the perfect guy" for me, and he popped up. |
The unemployment is because I am a full-time college student, so it's not like I sit around the house and do nothing. I am off for the summer. I feel I won't fit in in college because of my age (I'm 28, and in this case, being older than 22 is a kiss of death).
I have never heard of the "fake women" concept. Even though Austin is probably an exception to the rule, I am not entirely optimistic.
I am not particularly attracted to hippies/hipsters, but many people with the same interests and beliefs tend to veer in that direction, unfortunately.
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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BigK
Raven
Joined: Jan 14, 2008
Posts: 120
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 12:26 pm Post subject: |
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Self presentation.
You're not unemployed you are a mature student. (UK definition anyway) |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 22412
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 1:01 pm Post subject: |
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| BigK wrote: | Self presentation.
You're not unemployed you are a mature student. (UK definition anyway) |
That's what my definition would be.
However, people in Texas usually think in extremes about various things.
In Texas, somebody is either exceedingly wealthy or a hillbilly. Somebody is either a holy-roller or a pagan (I feel that it is completely possible to be both a Christian and liberal).
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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Birdgirl
Toucan
Joined: Dec 14, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 298
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 1:25 pm Post subject: |
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That's true about Texas..  Move to Montana! That's where I'm moving. You live in Wichita Falls, yes?
Anyway, I'd say perhaps you should just stop trying? Not as in giving up, but I mean.. Well I don't know what I mean. Read one of those self-help books on first impressions? That may help. I read one recently, called "First Impressions" (forgot who it's by), see if your library has it.
Or! You could try this dating website. There's one called OKCupid that's free (as far as I know), uncomplicated and actually entertaining.. The one time I made an account out of boredom, I was matched very well. I even made a few friends. So you may want to look into that.. or browse around the site at least.
_________________
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing. - -Shakespeare |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 22412
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 1:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Birdgirl wrote: | That's true about Texas.. Move to Montana! That's where I'm moving. You live in Wichita Falls, yes?
Anyway, I'd say perhaps you should just stop trying? Not as in giving up, but I mean.. Well I don't know what I mean. Read one of those self-help books on first impressions? That may help. I read one recently, called "First Impressions" (forgot who it's by), see if your library has it.
Or! You could try this dating website. There's one called OKCupid that's free (as far as I know), uncomplicated and actually entertaining.. The one time I made an account out of boredom, I was matched very well. I even made a few friends. So you may want to look into that.. or browse around the site at least. |
I have transferred to Texas State in San Marcos, because I had changed my major to geography/urban planning because I was struggling in geology, and MSU didn't offer geography as a major.
I want to leave Texas, but I still have a year and a half of school left.
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Last edited by Tim_Tex on Tue May 20, 2008 1:42 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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BigK
Raven
Joined: Jan 14, 2008
Posts: 120
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 1:42 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | I feel that it is completely possible to be both a Christian and liberal |
Jesus sounded pretty liberal to me. |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 22412
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 1:42 pm Post subject: |
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| BigK wrote: | | Quote: | | I feel that it is completely possible to be both a Christian and liberal |
Jesus sounded pretty liberal to me. |
I've actually heard that.
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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LePetitPrince
Feminist activist O_o
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 3566
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 2:32 pm Post subject: |
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Ok Tim, you just want aspie girls?
So let's do some math.
Let's say that world population is 6bil and let's say that the half are females: 6bil/2 = 3 bil
Most stats say that aspies are born 1 per 1000 and the female:male ration is 4:1 , so 1 female aspie is born per 4000.
3bil/2000= 1500000 female aspies in the whole world.
Based on what we are observing here on WP, the vast majority of female aspies here are taken, I will generous and say that 30% are single so 0.3*1500000=450000 single female aspies in the whole world.
You are 28 years old,of course you won't date a 40 yo girl or 13 yo girl ,no? so let's say that 20% of the single female aspies are in the age range of [18-30]
so 0.2*450000= 90000
And oh.....remember that some of them are taller than you and some are heavier than you and some who are homosexual and some who are out of your league , so let's say that 30% can be attracted to you.
90000*0.3 = 27000 ONLY aspie girls that might be attracted to you distributed in the whole world  .
Now I am sure that many would claim that aspie girls are way over-diagnosed , ok let's say that the real number of aspie girls are 10 times (and that's a way exaggerated) than the formally diagnosed nb of aspie girls.
So you have about 270000 available aspie girls ONLY
See Tim what obstacle you are brining to yourself?
And here I am not even taking the geographic distance into consideration. That's why I hardly believe the hundreds of love stories and threads that pop-up in WP every while about an aspie met another aspie or an aspie that coincidently met another person who happened to be an aspie too, fascinating! I have no proof that they are lying but I can hardly believe most of them.
Good luck for your fishing in an ocean with few fish
Last edited by LePetitPrince on Wed May 21, 2008 2:06 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 22412
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 6:58 pm Post subject: |
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| LePetitPrince wrote: |
Most stats say that aspies are born 1 per 1000 and the female:male ration is 4:1 |
I thought it was 1:150
| Quote: | | Based on what we are observing here on WP, the vast majority of female aspies here are taken, I will generous and say that 30% are single so 0.3*750000=22500 single female aspies in the whole world. |
Being on WP is not a prerequisite.
| Quote: | | You are 28 years old,of course you won't date a 40 yo girl or 13 yo girl ,no? |
While I prefer people close to my age, I do not require anyone to be a specific age. In the U.S., the age of consent is 18, so that is as young as I will date.
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 22412
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 7:25 pm Post subject: |
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| BigK wrote: |
Confidence is very important when it comes to how people perceive you. If someone does not seem comfortable with him/herself then they may look like a lot of work. That can put people off on the first meeting. Once they get to know him/her they may feel that they are worth it, but first impressions can often kill the deal. Sometimes you do need to pump yourself up, remind yourself how great you are, that you are as good as anyone. A good run or gym workout can be great for this. (and good shower afterwards ) |
I do keep in shape, and quite diligent with it. I also worked on my goal of creating the ideal living environment, and completed it a few days ago. I always like to have some project going, although lately, I have begun running low on ideas.
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 22412
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 9:23 pm Post subject: |
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I feel that the one who is perfect for me is an opposite-sex version of myself, or at least that's what people often lead me to believe.
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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yesplease
Velociraptor
Joined: Dec 29, 2006
Age: 27
Posts: 441
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| Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 2:34 am Post subject: |
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| Tim_Tex wrote: | | LePetitPrince wrote: |
Most stats say that aspies are born 1 per 1000 and the female:male ration is 4:1 |
I thought it was 1:150 |
It could be. There is speculation regarding learned social behavior and/or differences in the development of the AS that may inhibit the female diagnosis. |
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