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Aspie_Chav
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 07, 2006
Age: 35
Posts: 2137
Location: Croydon
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 Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 1:51 am Post subject: |
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| aylissa wrote: | Be yourself.
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Most aspies die alone. Should I be like most aspies |
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Bradleigh
Shadow Leopard
Joined: May 26, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 4349
Location: Sydney, Australia
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 2:44 am Post subject: |
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I am not realy interested in the realy hot girls. Often I feel that some are just air heads, or are pretty on the outside and selfish on the inside. the girls I usualy like are the ones thatshy aswell, are good people and well i think the word is not realy bi#@$y. I see the shy girl that others ignore, but I cant even be friends with these girls because I have some level of attraction to them and I am afraid of insulting them.
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They're sinking cities with a GIANT WOOOOORM!!!!
7th virtue: Humility |
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krex
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 21, 2006
Age: 45
Posts: 5014
Location: Village of the Damned
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 2:59 am Post subject: |
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| Bradleigh wrote: | | I am not realy interested in the realy hot girls. Often I feel that some are just air heads, or are pretty on the outside and selfish on the inside. the girls I usualy like are the ones thatshy aswell, are good people and well i think the word is not realy bi#@$y. I see the shy girl that others ignore, but I cant even be friends with these girls because I have some level of attraction to them and I am afraid of insulting them. |
But paying attention to them is not an insult(being ignored is), and the ones worth having as girlfriends are not going to dislike you even if you say the wrong things sometimes. Just taking the time and effort to get to know them will make most of them forgive you any social mistakes...and those that don't "forgive" aren't the ones you want to keep as firends anyway...So take a chance. Try and find a time when they are not surrnded by their "giggly ,air-head friends ", so that you can both be more real with each other. There are many of us girls who find shy guys very attractive but we may not have the courage to approach them ourselves because we think they all just want the "cheerleaders" . Even if some of them only want to be friends(sometimes that can change when they get to know you better), you will never know until you try.
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Just because one plane is flying out of formation, doesnt mean the formation is on course....R.D.Lang
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BazzaMcKenzie
Wild colonial man
Joined: Aug 22, 2006
Posts: 3702
Location: the Antipodes
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 3:20 am Post subject: |
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| sinsboldly wrote: | | That is why I am talking about a home hobby. Model making, Computer programming, on WP for ever, carpentry, |
Like reloading and duck decoy carving? - lol
But when I go out with "the guys" its usually with my kids and other blokes only - and the way we smell when we come back I think Sheila is confident we haven't gone near any other women. 
| krex wrote: | I know I am weird but I don't think I am the only female like me so....
I don't like guys that look TO clean...I prefer them to look interesting and natural like a forest which can be a bit musty. |
but I am reminded of a guy I sometimes hunt with. He said his first wife used to like it when he came home smelling of sweat, dirty and bloody and would jump him as soon as he stepped in the door. His second wife will not let him come within 10' of her until he has cleaned up and showered.
People are different.
And Bradleigh
telling/showing someone that you are attracted to them is a compliment. They may not want attention, but IMHO it is still a compliment.
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I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.
Strewth!
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krex
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 21, 2006
Age: 45
Posts: 5014
Location: Village of the Damned
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 3:42 am Post subject: |
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| BazzaMcKenzie wrote: | | sinsboldly wrote: | | That is why I am talking about a home hobby. Model making, Computer programming, on WP for ever, carpentry, |
Like reloading and duck decoy carving? - lol
But when I go out with "the guys" its usually with my kids and other blokes only - and the way we smell when we come back I think Sheila is confident we haven't gone near any other women.
| krex wrote: | I know I am weird but I don't think I am the only female like me so....
I don't like guys that look TO clean...I prefer them to look interesting and natural like a forest which can be a bit musty. |
but I am reminded of a guy I sometimes hunt with. He said his first wife used to like it when he came home smelling of sweat, dirty and bloody and would jump him as soon as he stepped in the door. His second wife will not let him come within 10' of her until he has cleaned up and showered.
People are different. |
Yep...that is my point...and aspies females are "differenter" then most  .
Thats why I don't want to promote a bunch of guys who think that they need to be clones to get a girl...you will only get a "clone" that way. Of course, since Stepford wives ARE a popular male fantasy...I suppose that is why they get all the dates   Actually, if that is what a guy wants then...better those clones then me, anyway.
My main point is that you shouldn't present a "front" unless you think you can maintain it for the rest of your life because eventually she is going to find out who the "real you" is and eiither try and change you or divorce you...first impressions ? Yeah, I know the theory and the science behind ,but being yourself will just weed out the "riff raff" and save you both a lot of time. All the advice experts are trying to do is sell some books..I ma trying to increase the aspie nation by getting you all "hooked up" with the appropriate parnters not someone who is going to maryy you because you have a nice car and clean clothes and then take your money in divorce and join The Cassandra society to complain about what a lousy spouse you were.
Creativity
Humble admitance of your flaws
Respect of self and partner
Intelligence
Self improvement based on your own values
Tenacity in persueing your interests
Mental astuteness,observation and applied logic
Attitude of forgiveness for others flaws (but avoidance of those whose flaws are destructive to you and others)
Sexual monogomy
Self honesty and honesty with others
I think many of you already have many of those qualitites. You just have to find the right person who values them.
M
_________________
Just because one plane is flying out of formation, doesnt mean the formation is on course....R.D.Lang
Visit my crafts store
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5412685 |
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LePetitPrince
Feminist activist O_o
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 3568
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 3:43 am Post subject: |
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| sinsboldly wrote: | The really savvy woman will want a guy with a home hobby. She will never wonder where he is, for he is always there, doing his hobby. This is incredibly comforting to a woman, that there is little opportunity for straying, for other girlfriends. So remind them in subtle ways that you are a true blue guy (and that getting ONE girl to marry him is hard enough with out having to run around on her!)
see, an asset you never knew you had!
Merle |
Some of my home hobbies are: Watching porn, cam2cam with girls and oogling on girls from my window.
You won't wonder where I am and what I am doing most of the time.
And oh....many girls called me smurf so I am kinda blue.
Would you date me? |
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MissConstrue
~Age of Aquarius~
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Posts: 12122
Location: Anywhere but HERE!
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 6:29 am Post subject: |
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_________________
Oh you can't help that. We're all mad here.
__Cheshire
6thSin:Envy |
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MR_BOGAN
Mysterios Dirty Dancer
Joined: Mar 06, 2008
Age: 30
Posts: 2037
Location: The great trailer park in the sky!
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:10 am Post subject: |
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| MissConstrue wrote: | |
 |
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MR_BOGAN
Mysterios Dirty Dancer
Joined: Mar 06, 2008
Age: 30
Posts: 2037
Location: The great trailer park in the sky!
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:10 am Post subject: |
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| LePetitPrince wrote: | | sinsboldly wrote: | The really savvy woman will want a guy with a home hobby. She will never wonder where he is, for he is always there, doing his hobby. This is incredibly comforting to a woman, that there is little opportunity for straying, for other girlfriends. So remind them in subtle ways that you are a true blue guy (and that getting ONE girl to marry him is hard enough with out having to run around on her!)
see, an asset you never knew you had!
Merle |
Some of my home hobbies are: Watching porn, cam2cam with girls and oogling on girls from my window.
You won't wonder where I am and what I am doing most of the time.
And oh....many girls called me smurf so I am kinda blue.
Would you date me? |
Yes |
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MissConstrue
~Age of Aquarius~
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Posts: 12122
Location: Anywhere but HERE!
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:40 am Post subject: |
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_________________
Oh you can't help that. We're all mad here.
__Cheshire
6thSin:Envy |
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Aspie_Chav
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 07, 2006
Age: 35
Posts: 2137
Location: Croydon
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:45 am Post subject: |
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| krex wrote: |
..I ma trying to increase the aspie nation by getting you all "hooked up" with the appropriate parnters not someone who is going to maryy you because you have a nice car and clean clothes and then take your money in divorce and join The Cassandra society to complain about what a lousy spouse you were.
Creativity
Humble admitance of your flaws
Respect of self and partner
Intelligence
Self improvement based on your own values
Tenacity in persueing your interests
Mental astuteness,observation and applied logic
Attitude of forgiveness for others flaws (but avoidance of those whose flaws are destructive to you and others)
Sexual monogomy
Self honesty and honesty with others
I think many of you already have many of those qualitites. You just have to find the right person who values them.
M |
In comparison with an avarage NT, I have more of those qualities. Maybe I am lacking in the honesty with others, but we do live in an NT world.
It may be necessory to devope superficial qualities to servive in an NT world, it doen't mean you will end up with an superficial woman. All NTs in this office, are in relationships with partners who are not superficial. I would like to point again the percentage of aspies who get married. |
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Aspie_Chav
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 07, 2006
Age: 35
Posts: 2137
Location: Croydon
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:52 am Post subject: |
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| krex wrote: |
..I ma trying to increase the aspie nation by getting you all "hooked up" with the appropriate parnters not someone who is going to maryy you because you have a nice car and clean clothes and then take your money in divorce and join The Cassandra society to complain about what a lousy spouse you were.
Creativity
Humble admitance of your flaws
Respect of self and partner
Intelligence
Self improvement based on your own values
Tenacity in persueing your interests
Mental astuteness,observation and applied logic
Attitude of forgiveness for others flaws (but avoidance of those whose flaws are destructive to you and others)
Sexual monogomy
Self honesty and honesty with others
I think many of you already have many of those qualitites. You just have to find the right person who values them.
M |
In comparison with an avarage NT, I have more of those qualities. Maybe I am lacking in the honesty with others, but we do live in an NT world.
It may be necessory to devope superficial qualities to servive in an NT world, it doen't mean you will end up with an superficial woman. All NTs in this office, are in relationships with partners who are not superficial. I would like to point again the percentage of aspies who get married. |
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LePetitPrince
Feminist activist O_o
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 3568
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:52 am Post subject: |
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| MissConstrue wrote: | |
You.....you are hilarious
mr.bogan now looks more aspie  |
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LePetitPrince
Feminist activist O_o
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 3568
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:56 am Post subject: |
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| MR_BOGAN wrote: | | LePetitPrince wrote: | | sinsboldly wrote: | The really savvy woman will want a guy with a home hobby. She will never wonder where he is, for he is always there, doing his hobby. This is incredibly comforting to a woman, that there is little opportunity for straying, for other girlfriends. So remind them in subtle ways that you are a true blue guy (and that getting ONE girl to marry him is hard enough with out having to run around on her!)
see, an asset you never knew you had!
Merle |
Some of my home hobbies are: Watching porn, cam2cam with girls and oogling on girls from my window.
You won't wonder where I am and what I am doing most of the time.
And oh....many girls called me smurf so I am kinda blue.
Would you date me? |
Yes |
Since when you are gay? Well well...you can pass by and cry together for how much lonely losers we are (or we can just drink beer and play XBox 360 and forget about the women species ..... after all, Cold beer+Xbox360 > girlfriend's nagging), but no sex!  |
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imipak
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 23, 2007
Age: 39
Posts: 223
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 5:08 pm Post subject: |
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| krex wrote: | | imipak wrote: | | krex wrote: | | How many of the guys here who are frustrated about "striking out" have tried repeatedly to find the shy girl in the room ? I would have never had a date if I hadn't got drunk enough to get up the nerve to approach guys...they seldom approached me. |
Whilst I am certain you are correct in saying this is the method to use, it is a method I have tried, although perhaps not repeatedly enough. What has generally happened is I've ended up feeling even more rejected precisely because even the shy and unassuming find better conversation with a drink. |
I'm not sure what you mean by..."find better conversation with a drink" . Can you explain this phrase for me ? |
I guess I can explain this easiest with some examples:
1. Two aspies I knew at University managed to get themselves into serious, deep relationships. (Good for them, and I hope they are continuing to do well.) They both circulated invitations to their respective engagement parties and weddings to everyone in the student societies they belonged to. Well, all but one.  Anyone care to guess who?
2. Out of interest, I posted ads on various personals boards across the Internet. So far, the responses have been as follows: 25% replied to say they weren't interested, but that the advert was one of the best they'd ever seen. 25% have been threats and indimidation. 50% have been from people wanting to know if I can help on family history studies. Absolutely none whatsoever have expressed the slightest curiosity or interest in me.
3. The two times I got to the point of someone being willing to bother getting past "hello", I was merely the porter supplying alcohol. I was of no other interest and no other use. This includes inviting someone out for a meal. They took the wine and left. My one and only function was to pay for it.
From this, I have concluded that as far as anyone else is concerned, there is simply nothing else on this Earth less interesting than me. Mind you, that's not just a matter of relationships, either.
a. I was utterly ignored for most of my own 21st birthday party, then turfed out for asking why.
b. My graduation "ceremony" consisted of me being told I wasn't regarded as worth calling on... several hours after the year's graduation proceedings had begun.
c. I can extend that to my entire time at school and University, where staff and students alike had no objection to treating me as less than dirt. My earliest memories were ones of utter rejection, and my earliest nightmares (closer to night terrors) reflected this. This never changed after graduation, and utter rejection has dogged my professional career ever since. (One particular corporate christmas party was especially memorable. I'd been asked to provide from my own funds much of the food and drink, which I did, on the grounds that it was a cheap way to pay for company. Once I'd delivered the supples, I was escorted out by security and told not to re-enter. They kept the supples for the party, naturally.)
My memories go back to when I was 3, giving me 35 years of non-stop non-existance that I know about, although the other 3 were probably of the same kind.
I am willing to believe that somebody out there exists who is not only capable but actually willing to regard me as something vaguely worthy of being called a human being. Past experience, however, renders the probability of finding such a person slim. I'm 38, getting on 39. People do sometimes, albeit rarely, form relationships with men that old, but generally by that point it is for stability and sanctuary. In a world that seems to regard scum more highly than it has ever regarded me, stability just doesn't exist. I can't even rely on the ground beneath my feet. I've had bosses openly and fraudulantly re-write my past annual reviews in order to maintain that I am nothing and nobody. If the impossibly slender odds ever actually turned up, with someone actually considering regarding me as a person who might be worth knowing, they would never take that kind of chance with someone whose life is filled with chaos and hurt. |
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