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pbcoll
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 15, 2007
Posts: 1818
Location: England
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 Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 6:03 pm Post subject: |
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| krex wrote: |
How many of the guys here who are frustrated about "striking out" have tried repeatedly to find the shy girl in the room ? I would have never had a date if I hadn't got drunk enough to get up the nerve to approach guys...they seldom approached me.
I was thin, well read and generally compassionate but I was invisible to most guys....and much to weird. Yet once guys I approached got to know me, I did develop some long term relationships. I was very "picky" as you can see from my "like list" but the guys I was most attracted to were not the same 5 guys that all the other girls were after. . |
It's been ages since I met a girl that could be classified as shy, I don't know any here except for one that is taken for the long haul and with whom I would be incompatible anyway, And yes, I befriended her.
| krex wrote: | | One of the things I see repeatedly from guys on this site are the first description they give of the female they are "after" is that they are "hot"....and some jerk got to screw them. Why would you regret not sleeping with some one who had such low standards in picking a mate ? Dudes...you did not miss out on anything but a lot of drama, head games and inane conversation and probably a case of the clap. If some girl passes you up because she is afraid her friends wont think you are "cool enough", you have just saved yourself from screwing a sheep, (illegal in a few countries), count your blessings. |
This I agree with. Unfortunately it isn't just the 'hot' girls that are not interested in me.
| krex wrote: | (I have a BF, by the way, so I am not saying this to find a mate but because I really want to see aspies guys find a person to share their lives with and hopefully open your eyes to the aspies girls who ARE out there...statisticaly, are numbers are low but
better to look for the one then date the million who will just make you miserable. |
I've never met, in person, an aspie girl. Given that experience, the only sensible way to operate would seem to be to assume I'm not going to meet any that are single and looking.
I can only assume my life is going to be a solo flight - not that I'm happy about it, but I'd rather work on accepting that than continue banging my head against the wall.
_________________
I neither take revenge, nor beg for favours. (Rabindranath Tagore)
I am the steppenwolf that never learned to dance. (Sedaka) |
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MR_BOGAN
Mysterios Dirty Dancer
Joined: Mar 06, 2008
Age: 30
Posts: 2037
Location: The great trailer park in the sky!
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 6:50 pm Post subject: |
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| LePetitPrince wrote: | | MR_BOGAN wrote: | | LePetitPrince wrote: | | sinsboldly wrote: | The really savvy woman will want a guy with a home hobby. She will never wonder where he is, for he is always there, doing his hobby. This is incredibly comforting to a woman, that there is little opportunity for straying, for other girlfriends. So remind them in subtle ways that you are a true blue guy (and that getting ONE girl to marry him is hard enough with out having to run around on her!)
see, an asset you never knew you had!
Merle |
Some of my home hobbies are: Watching porn, cam2cam with girls and oogling on girls from my window.
You won't wonder where I am and what I am doing most of the time.
And oh....many girls called me smurf so I am kinda blue.
Would you date me? |
Yes |
Since when you are gay?  Well well...you can pass by and cry together for how much lonely losers we are  (or we can just drink beer and play XBox 360 and forget about the women species  ..... after all, Cold beer+Xbox360 > girlfriend's nagging), but no sex!  |
I have wondered what it would be like to be gay, but I think gay men are way worse than women. 
Yeah the sex thing doesn't do it for me. 
We can have a platonic gay relationship then. |
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BazzaMcKenzie
Wild colonial man
Joined: Aug 22, 2006
Posts: 3702
Location: the Antipodes
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| Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 4:20 am Post subject: |
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| imipak wrote: | | ... I'd been asked to provide from my own funds much of the food and drink, which I did, on the grounds that it was a cheap way to pay for company. Once I'd delivered the supples, I was escorted out by security and told not to re-enter. They kept the supples for the party, naturally..... |
That's horrible
I think that beats my worst - 2006 my brothers changed the venue of where they were hosting Christmas dinner and didn't tell me.
_________________
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.
Strewth!
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The_Chosen_One
Lord of all who roam in my domain
Joined: Jul 27, 2007
Posts: 1371
Location: Looking down on humanity
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| Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 5:22 am Post subject: |
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sh** dude, you've really been through the mill. I wish some good Karma your way.
_________________
Pagans are people too, not just victims of a religious cleansing program. Universal harmony for all!!
Karma decides what must happen, and that includes everyone. |
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BazzaMcKenzie
Wild colonial man
Joined: Aug 22, 2006
Posts: 3702
Location: the Antipodes
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| Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 8:50 pm Post subject: |
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I get the impression some of you are looking for a "perfect match" before even asking for a date.
I have found women were much more interested in me when I had a gf than when I didn't. Maybe it was a self confidence thing or maybe women/girls think you are more attractive when they see someone else attracted to you.
I suggest if you like someone, just ask for a date. They don't have to be perfect or "the one".
_________________
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.
Strewth!
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imipak
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 23, 2007
Age: 39
Posts: 223
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 1:40 pm Post subject: |
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| The_Chosen_One wrote: | | sh** dude, you've really been through the mill. I wish some good Karma your way. |
Thanks. I'd actually be content with being convinced that it is a meaningless coincidence that no woman has posted to this thread since I outlined where I was coming from. Assuming it -is- a meaningless coincidence and they've not all run away screaming into the night to escape from someone with quite such a horrible time of life.  |
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Zane
Deinonychus
Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 302
Location: Tempe, Arizona
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 3:43 pm Post subject: |
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| merr wrote: | | Zane- you stated why she left, and to be honset that is not only a girl problem. Most people DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT want to get it a relationship where they think a person is depressed. Why? Because to them it signifies problems and drama, and that's usually not what people are looking for when they want to find a mate. Sure, there are plenty of people out there who have the "I will go to my depressed lover and save him/her from themselves" fantasy, but what it takes is a lot of patience, a lot of time, and some know-how. To ask anyone to understand that is unfair, because they are only young people looking to make their lives enjoyable. Some women will assume that they will have to baby a man, and some men think they will have to baby a woman. Did your friend tell his girlfriends about his personal problems? Probably not. I'm only saying this as a warning, because in the past I made the mistake as well and it really pushes people off. They see it as a burden. I thought it was unfair at the time, that I should be able to share my thoughts, but the truth is most people are not able to play the role of comforter/therapist, they will fail and will most likely start becoming depressed as well. I know you are probably not depressed yourself, but mentioning these things in any form ( anything besides saying that you have overcome issues) will always put you in that risk zone, whether it be with male/female, friend/lover. |
100% correct. She stopped being attracted to me because I changed. It happens. I was not depressed at that time in life just lost. Artistic guys get lost a lot.
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No one grows by sitting at home; so get up, get out, and get a life. |
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Zane
Deinonychus
Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 302
Location: Tempe, Arizona
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 3:47 pm Post subject: |
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| sarahstilettos wrote: |
Zane,
I think what people mean when they are intimidated by you is that you seem very very sure of yourself... Obviously I don't know if you speak in the same tone as you write but I am quite scared of you by what you've written. |
Yeah, that's possible. Surprised I scarred you defiantly did not intend on making a horror movie  But seriously I am actually very confident with things in life. It is just simple concepts that I am stuck on now. Ones that only come from experiences. And since I have a tendency to be socially awkward it heightens my (can't think of word).
-Zane
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No one grows by sitting at home; so get up, get out, and get a life. |
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mouapp
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 21, 2007
Age: 18
Posts: 678
Location: probably not WP
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| Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 10:11 am Post subject: |
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bump
cus it was a good thread ida, and to say "that really sucks" to imipak, its bad to the point where im having trouble believing it
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http://www.last.fm/user/mouapp/
Maybe I don't know either. |
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silly_rabbi
Toucan
Joined: May 15, 2008
Posts: 273
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| Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 2:25 pm Post subject: |
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Never ever ever let the following words come out of your mouth:
A) Are you really going to eat that?
B ) Are you really going to wear that?
Women get these enough from their mothers/parents and do not need to hear them from their boyfriends as well. Two of my relationships ended because I was NOT going to hear that kind of malarky from a S.O. as well as my mum. NOT happening.
Compliments work very well in relationships, and I'm not talking about "Honey you look so great today" (though that is nice too). Compliment something like how they do something, "I really think you're a great singer" or "I really appreciate how clean the kitchen is" or something like that. It goes miles when your S.O. notices something you've done and compliments you on it.
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There are only 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don't. |
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sgrannel
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 21, 2008
Posts: 562
Location: USA
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 7:05 pm Post subject: |
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Hey, thanks for starting this. We really need to hear from the women themselves, what they want and what they're looking for. This is a whole lot better than trying to use strange theories to figure out what's going on.
_________________
White coats to bind me
out of control, I live alone inside my mind
World of confusion, air filled with noise
who says that my life's such a crime? |
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Hector
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 11, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 1035
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 8:32 pm Post subject: |
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| LePetitPrince wrote: | | No one can master these 2 things, these traits are genetic. |
I guess it wasn't really meant that strongly. You may never be Woody Allen, but you can always improve. |
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sgrannel
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 21, 2008
Posts: 562
Location: USA
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:01 pm Post subject: |
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| Purplefluffychainsaw wrote: | | Cyberman wrote: | | aylissa wrote: | | Don't wear cologne. |
Are you serious? Before I started wearing cologne, the girls at school would tell me TO MY FACE that I "stank." Granted, that was in middle school, so there was a lot of immaturity, but still... |
WASH regularly (your clothes and yourself) and don't wear cologne then. This is coming from an autistic girl, but perfume and cologne make me sick and give me headaches. |
I use the Old Spice "high endurance" pure sport body wash for my skin and my hair. It works better than solid bar soap and shampoo. It has a scent of its own, used in combination with Old Spice "high endurance" arctic force scented deodorant, which my sisters advise me is a good scent. I like it, and nobody tells me I stink anymore, but make sure you rinse off good because even this can smell too strongly for some. Overall, I would recommend the use of these two items.
Of course, you can't go wrong smelling like nothing at all. The worst way to smell is a combination of curry, B.O., and cologne, like one of my good friends.
_________________
White coats to bind me
out of control, I live alone inside my mind
World of confusion, air filled with noise
who says that my life's such a crime? |
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techstepgenr8tion
cleveland audio assassin
Joined: Feb 07, 2005
Age: 29
Posts: 5737
Location: That's for me to know and for you to find out.
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:28 pm Post subject: |
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| krex wrote: |
How many of the guys here who are frustrated about "striking out" have tried repeatedly to find the shy girl in the room ? I would have never had a date if I hadn't got drunk enough to get up the nerve to approach guys...they seldom approached me.
I was thin, well read and generally compassionate but I was invisible to most guys....and much to weird. Yet once guys I approached got to know me, I did develop some long term relationships. I was very "picky" as you can see from my "like list" but the guys I was most attracted to were not the same 5 guys that all the other girls were after. |
I've quite often been drawn to shy women, just because if I saw someone different who seemed different in a way that was compatible with the way I saw and felt the world I was all for it (some of these as well I had way more interest in than any traditional 'hot' girls, a great many of those are unfortunately for themselves empty shells - that is the most impassible turnoff to me).
The only thing that makes the shy a special challenge - there's a lot more red tape in the situation. Especially if its one semi-shy high self monitor checking out another, who's looking back at him/her with interest; both try, even with time they can't seem to get around each other's guard at the right time or catch each other in the right mode. Its not quite as wild as the Saturday Night Live bit on the acutely self conscious but it's not far from it. That also goes back to what merr (I think it was her) said about people feeling good will from each other rather than feeling self-consciousness or things like that radiating. Even if both are ok with each other as is, smooth communication can be nearly impossible.
| krex wrote: | | If some girl passes you up because she is afraid her friends wont think you are "cool enough", you have just saved yourself from screwing a sheep, (illegal in a few countries), count your blessings. |
Hahaha, thats classic...
| krex wrote: | | For the guy who sounds so bitter about the "hot chick" his roommate got to screw....why did you even want to date someone like that...she sounded horrid. You didn't mention one redeeming quality about her...she was just "hot" . |
Yeah, that's not even 'hot', its bleak. I've at least known some attractive girls who we've partied with from time to time who'd joke, in a bit of self-deprecation that we were blessed to have em there. My comment has usually been "So what, are you gonna ride a unicycle and juggle for us?" (ie. get with the program ya chatch, your part of the group ). When there are girls who don't have much of a better nature left and I realize how many guys fall all over them I really almost want to take the guys aside and smack em. Negative attention ruins lives, I think too much 'positive' (and I say that a bit ironically - both reality and trust are being stolen right out from under them) does so as well.
( |
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sgrannel
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 21, 2008
Posts: 562
Location: USA
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 12:11 am Post subject: |
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| imipak wrote: | | One particular corporate christmas party was especially memorable. I'd been asked to provide from my own funds much of the food and drink, which I did, on the grounds that it was a cheap way to pay for company. Once I'd delivered the supples, I was escorted out by security and told not to re-enter. They kept the supples for the party, naturally.) |
I am curious. There has to be more to this story. Would you share the details? What happened in between delivering and setting up the last food item, and being thrown out by security? Did others conspire to have you thrown out right after you brought the food you paid for? Was there really an elaborate plan to use you and then throw you out? This sounds incredibly malicious, and reflects very poorly on all others involved, and you can tell them I said that. How might you guard against others' bad intentions in the future?
_________________
White coats to bind me
out of control, I live alone inside my mind
World of confusion, air filled with noise
who says that my life's such a crime? |
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