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sgrannel
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 21, 2008
Posts: 562
Location: USA
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 Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 12:37 am Post subject: |
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| silly_rabbi wrote: | Never ever ever let the following words come out of your mouth:
A) Are you really going to eat that?
B ) Are you really going to wear that?
Women get these enough from their mothers/parents and do not need to hear them from their boyfriends as well. Two of my relationships ended because I was NOT going to hear that kind of malarky from a S.O. as well as my mum. NOT happening.
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Wow, how common is that? Is this the sort of behavior that can cause some women to have poor relationships with their mothers? If a parent is critical and distant, that relationship will be bad. The parent's bad behavior may be genetically heritable on top of that, which only further complicates things, and it may make the cycle harder to break.
At one point I was getting a bit heavy and out of shape. I wasn't dating, and had no reason to expect to please anybody, so I ate whatever I liked and it showed. I discovered a few years back that attention to my appearance, hygiene, avoiding junk food and getting exercise has effects which I can value and enjoy for their own sake, even though I still don't care much about what others think of it. I'm doing this for myself. I have also discovered that there is another dimension to fitness, having to do with athletic strength and endurance, which the dieters ignore, and the scale doesn't measure, but which has had a major effect on how the way I feel has changed. How would you recommend a man should handle bringing up a concern about a partner being out of shape (an issue that is completely separate from weight/appearance), when the person is attractive, but the man wants to ensure she remains healthy and he wants her to feel as good as he does?
_________________
White coats to bind me
out of control, I live alone inside my mind
World of confusion, air filled with noise
who says that my life's such a crime? |
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dtoxic
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 23, 2008
Age: 38
Posts: 313
Location: Boston MA
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 6:38 pm Post subject: |
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| krex wrote: |
Creativity
Humble admitance of your flaws
Respect of self and partner
Intelligence
Self improvement based on your own values
Tenacity in persueing your interests
Mental astuteness,observation and applied logic
Attitude of forgiveness for others flaws (but avoidance of those whose flaws are destructive to you and others)
Sexual monogomy
Self honesty and honesty with others
I think many of you already have many of those qualitites. You just have to find the right person who values them.
M |
Other guys have said this already but...I'm gonna punch the next person who tells me to "be myself". I have done nothing but "be myself" for 37 years and I'm still a virgin. Women cannot stand "myself".
I have all of the qualities on that list. No woman I have ever approached has ever investigated enough to find out. |
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dtoxic
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 23, 2008
Age: 38
Posts: 313
Location: Boston MA
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 6:42 pm Post subject: |
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| Correction: Several decades of unwanted celibacy have beaten me down into a state of depression and cynicism, so "self improvement according to my values" has leveled off to about zero. |
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