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Hector
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 11, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 1023
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 Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 7:17 pm Post subject: |
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| One thing I find interesting is that while the "sexual identity" consensus among the men on this forum seems to be more or less the same as on most other forums I frequent (except for a more pessimistic outlook on dating), among the women it's radically different. I'm not convinced that this means there's necessarily a connection between AS and sexuality, though. |
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pakled
"Bless his Heart"
Joined: Nov 13, 2007
Age: 51
Posts: 3262
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| Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 7:18 pm Post subject: |
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9 seconds? that long?...
whatever...
there's more than 2 ways to wire a brain... |
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Nutterbug
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 05, 2008
Posts: 171
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| Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 8:10 pm Post subject: |
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| Ass-burglar syndrome |
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n4mwd
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 08, 2008
Posts: 667
Location: Palm Beach, FL
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| Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 9:55 pm Post subject: Re: Link Between AS and Gayness? |
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| 2ukenkerl wrote: |
So you are saying that nearly every single AS person is GAY, simply because they don't think about sex with a woman every 9 seconds!?!?!? HEY, I guess that means almost no AS person is gay either, because they don't dream about sex with a man every 9 seconds either. |
That's not what I said. I suggest you read up on asexuality.
| jayssite wrote: | | Every nine seconds? Even as an average, that's extremely excessive. I have a really hard time believing that you think about sexual intercourse that obsessively. How are you able to function? If what you say is true, then it seems like the entirety of your existence must revolve around wanting to "get laid", as if that's the sole focus of your consciousness every single minute of every single hour of every single day of your life. |
Sorry I wasn't clear. Its true that I believe the number is 9 seconds for straights, not that I think about it every 9 seconds. I don't because I'm asexual - not gay or straight.
Yes I read your web site link, but I'm picky about the reality I choose to accept. |
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No_YOU_get_over_it
Toucan
Joined: Jun 29, 2008
Posts: 255
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| Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 1:25 am Post subject: |
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| Hector wrote: | | among the women it's radically different. |
Yeah, but I'm not sure aspie women are actually different in our sexuality - I think we just aren't hung up on social expectations that keep NT women quiet about what they'd like to be into.
_________________
- NYGOI
NB: contents of above post represent my opinion at time of post only. YMMV, NAYY, and most importantly, IALBTC! |
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catspurr
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 16, 2008
Posts: 781
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| Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 1:53 am Post subject: |
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| There is no link between AS and being gay. |
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2ukenkerl
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 20, 2007
Posts: 4950
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| Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 3:29 am Post subject: |
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| No_YOU_get_over_it wrote: | | Hector wrote: | | among the women it's radically different. |
Yeah, but I'm not sure aspie women are actually different in our sexuality - I think we just aren't hung up on social expectations that keep NT women quiet about what they'd like to be into. |
Well, this is hard to explain, and will probably come out wrong, but it IS an apparently common feeling.
To me, homosexual men just seem WRONG! BAD, etc.... I don't like the idea AT ALL. Even THEY admit that they are received that way.
Homosexual WOMEN in and of themselves don't seem so wrong. Of course, those that seem to almost want to be men, even in appearance, seem just as wrong as the men. There are a lot of comedies, etc... that illustrate it. Even SEINFELD illustrated it.
So, like many other things, women just seem to be accepted farther away from the usual norms. They can say what they want, but whether they are the farmers daughter, dressed up and working almost like a man, but still definitely feminine, or dressed up frilly and acting very much like little girls, they are still accepted in the same way.
Of course, all the statements I have made here in this area are not affected by how they might be received. If I couldn't tell the truth, I simply wouldn't post. I can't speak for the other males, but I am sure they are telling the truth also. |
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rdos
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 07, 2005
Age: 47
Posts: 799
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 7:47 am Post subject: Re: Link Between AS and Gayness? |
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| n4mwd wrote: | Here is why you are being approached by gays. Gays have this sense they call "gaydar". Basically, they look at your eyes when a cute girl passes you. If you make eye contact with her, then they assume you are straight and do not attempt t contact you. If you don't make eye contact, then they assume you are gay. The problem is that gaydar fails when you add in asexuality because its a false trigger.
So if you are truly heterosexual, you should be thinking about having sex with women every 9 seconds or so. If not, and if you are an aspie, then you have a really good chance of being asexual. |
'
This explanation seems to be very inventive, but also just as wrong as it had been invented by an autism-researcher that wanted to prove some point.
Why is it wrong then? Because of this:
1. Making eye-contact has absolutely nothing to do with sexuality, and not with asexuality neither. Autistics will avoid eye-contact with strangers, and in the group of strangers we can also count-in strange women that a man might see. So, the gayradar does not fail because of asexuality but because of the way autistics are wired regarding eye-contact.
2. Asexuality is not linked to sexual devations such as HBT or paraphilias, but to social exclusion and environmental problems. As such, asexuality (in autistics) is not even something autistics are born with, but a secondary symptom.
On the issue if gayness is linked to Aspie, I think the answer is that there is some very minor link here. |
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z0rp
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 05, 2008
Age: 15
Posts: 699
Location: New York, USA
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| Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 7:50 am Post subject: |
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| I don't think there could be a link honestly. |
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alex
Developer
Joined: Jun 14, 2004
Age: 22
Posts: 6325
Location: DC Metro Area (No. VA)
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| Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 7:59 am Post subject: |
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2ukenkerl,
Please refrain from making homophobic offtopic comments. |
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rdos
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 07, 2005
Age: 47
Posts: 799
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 8:00 am Post subject: |
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| z0rp wrote: | | I don't think there could be a link honestly. |
For all practical purposes, there is no link. However, if you look at weaker correlations, HBT, BD/SM and sexual compulsions are linked and have low correlations to Aspie score in Aspie-quiz (about 0.2). Even more interesting probably is that differences in courtship behaviors are also linked to deviant sexuality, and these have moderate correlation (about 0.4) to Aspie score. It is therefore much more interesting from the point of view of autism to look at differences in courtship preferences than gayness. |
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lastcrazyhorn
Bat-Chick
Joined: Oct 11, 2007
Posts: 1219
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 8:55 am Post subject: |
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My opinion? There's a link between gayness and everything. Every category.
_________________
"I am to misbehave" - Mal
BATMAN: I'll do everything I can to rehabilitate you.
CATWOMAN: Marry me.
BATMAN: Everything except that.
http://lastcrazyhorn.wordpress.com - "Odd One Out: Reality with a refreshing slice of aspie" |
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n4mwd
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 08, 2008
Posts: 667
Location: Palm Beach, FL
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| Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:13 am Post subject: Re: Link Between AS and Gayness? |
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| rdos wrote: | | n4mwd wrote: | Here is why you are being approached by gays. Gays have this sense they call "gaydar". Basically, they look at your eyes when a cute girl passes you. If you make eye contact with her, then they assume you are straight and do not attempt t contact you. If you don't make eye contact, then they assume you are gay. The problem is that gaydar fails when you add in asexuality because its a false trigger.
So if you are truly heterosexual, you should be thinking about having sex with women every 9 seconds or so. If not, and if you are an aspie, then you have a really good chance of being asexual. |
'
This explanation seems to be very inventive, but also just as wrong as it had been invented by an autism-researcher that wanted to prove some point.
Why is it wrong then? Because of this:
1. Making eye-contact has absolutely nothing to do with sexuality, and not with asexuality neither. Autistics will avoid eye-contact with strangers, and in the group of strangers we can also count-in strange women that a man might see. So, the gayradar does not fail because of asexuality but because of the way autistics are wired regarding eye-contact.
2. Asexuality is not linked to sexual devations such as HBT or paraphilias, but to social exclusion and environmental problems. As such, asexuality (in autistics) is not even something autistics are born with, but a secondary symptom.
On the issue if gayness is linked to Aspie, I think the answer is that there is some very minor link here. |
Well first off, that wasn't some random generated comment by an autism researcher. It was from a comment that a genuine gay man told me. Because gays do approach me, I have several that are friends and we do talk about stuff like this all the time. So the eye contact and other body language IS how they reported that gaydar works.
So I say again. NT straights make significant casual eye contact with the opposite sex and gays don't as much. I am talking about when people just walk by and not when they are talking to you or have a specific reason for eye contact.
Asexuality is a sexual orientation just like gay or straight. It is not caused by sexual abuse as a child or self esteem problems. While many aspies are asexual, it is not a requirement for asexuals to be aspies. Social deprivation does not cause it. You are born with your orientation. You cannot switch unless you are bisexual.
I suggest that you look up asexuality and read up on it. |
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rdos
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 07, 2005
Age: 47
Posts: 799
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:40 am Post subject: Re: Link Between AS and Gayness? |
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| n4mwd wrote: | Well first off, that wasn't some random generated comment by an autism researcher. It was from a comment that a genuine gay man told me. Because gays do approach me, I have several that are friends and we do talk about stuff like this all the time. So the eye contact and other body language IS how they reported that gaydar works.
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You did, but you also added that this was connected to asexuality, which I strongly disagree with. You don't need to be asexual not to look at women. It never occured to me that you should look at strange women when I was younger. That wasn't because I was asexual, because I've never been asexual.
| n4mwd wrote: | So I say again. NT straights make significant casual eye contact with the opposite sex and gays don't as much. I am talking about when people just walk by and not when they are talking to you or have a specific reason for eye contact.
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Eye-contact avoidance towards strangers is a general trait that is not related to if you talk to somebody or not.
| n4mwd wrote: | Asexuality is a sexual orientation just like gay or straight. It is not caused by sexual abuse as a child or self esteem problems. While many aspies are asexual, it is not a requirement for asexuals to be aspies. Social deprivation does not cause it. You are born with your orientation. You cannot switch unless you are bisexual.
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Not at all. Asexuality is seen in deprived animals at zoos, and is the major reason why some species are so hard to breed in captivity. I suggest you read up on this before you make more claims about asexuality being a sexual orientation you are born with. Not only that, but the question about asexuality in Aspie-quiz clearly clusters with social traits and to some extent with self esteem and depression problems as well. |
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Aurore
Dingo Lycanthrope
Joined: Dec 07, 2007
Age: 18
Posts: 1208
Location: North Carolina
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| Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 11:00 am Post subject: Re: Link Between AS and Gayness? |
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| rdos wrote: | | Asexuality is seen in deprived animals at zoos, and is the major reason why some species are so hard to breed in captivity. I suggest you read up on this before you make more claims about asexuality being a sexual orientation you are born with. Not only that, but the question about asexuality in Aspie-quiz clearly clusters with social traits and to some extent with self esteem and depression problems as well. |
No, there are definitely people born asexual. Some people just have little to no sex drive. Arguing you can't be born asexual is just as flawed as arguing you can't be born straight. I'm sure in some cases it can be influenced by environment, but that doesn't mean there isn't at least a predisposition.
Sex researcher Kinsey described a category of people who naturally didn't have an erotic response to either heterosexual or homosexual stimuli, and did not have physical encounters with individuals of either sex in which there was evidence of any response.
His percentages were as high as nineteen percent of the unmarried female population and three to four percent of the unmarried male population.
So asexuality is actually pretty common, as common at least as homosexuality.
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"The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls..." |
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