Rebecca_L
Deinonychus
Joined: May 29, 2008
Age: 49
Posts: 386
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 Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 7:30 pm Post subject: |
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My son came home one day to tell me about a young man in his class who was hitting him. After talking to him I discovered that the boy wasn't just targeting my son (a mixed blessing there) but that he was hitting everyone. Apparently he also took Ritalin and hadn't had any for a while. (Mom was in the hospital or something.) I sent a note to my son's teacher that stated quite clearly that I had told my son to retaliate if this child struck him again and that my son would NOT be given detention or any other punative response. I pointed out that I didn't send my son to school to be hit and if the school couldn't protect him that he had my permission to protect himself. I encouraged the teacher to share my note with the principal if she felt it necessary. The other child was suspended from school until it could be determined that he was once again getting his Ritalin. (By the way, my son has always been very non-violent. He probably hated me telling him to hit the kid more than anything else that happened in that situation.) My point is simple, the schools will ignore anything you let them ignore. Parents need to advocate for their children. Parents need to know that the school district does not necessarily know or do what is best for their child.
(And an observation about the psychiatrist, I wondered if he/she didn't want to talk to the boy without his Ritalin because he/she was concerned for his/her safety. Ritalin does help curb impulsive and violent behavior too. I wonder just how much of a delinquent this child is?) |
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Sora
away away
Joined: Sep 16, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 5648
Location: Europe
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| Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 8:02 am Post subject: Re: Bully, 12, investigated for rape |
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The officials did a horrible job to handle this in my opinion. I don't think I can add anything to what was said about them already.
Something else;
| matsuiny2004 wrote: | | I really think the child should at least get some help. He is 12 and seems to have problems. I am not saying what he did is ok or not, but he does need help. |
Yes.
When a child is hurting other children in extremes sexual implications or hitting, kicking, punching etc. it's often a complicated situation for all participants.
We have a younger kid who's provocation others, violent and bullying in class and it's a balance between the others children from further harm and ensuring this child is, mentally, also not further hurt and damaged. Hardly possible.
It's one thing to read about a case like this or see a kid acting violently, but it's another to see and experience the child in question as a full person.
In my own case at school, I consider this:
Destroy 1 kid's future to save 30 others or take collateral damage of 30 into account to ensure the 1 kid has a chance at life, when you know all participants well and all show just how human and fragile they are.
I imagine similar reasoning (if there are any serious and fair professionals) about the boy in the article and any other child that is violent in any physical or psychological form.
Can't say I'd like to make that decision, glad I don't have to make it, because I don't feel sympathy. It would be so much easier to handle the situations daily if I just felt sympathy, had a 'favourite kid' and would side with it.
| Rebecca_L wrote: | | Apparently he also took Ritalin and hadn't had any for a while. (Mom was in the hospital or something.) I sent a note to my son's teacher that stated quite clearly that I had told my son to retaliate if this child struck him again and that my son would NOT be given detention or any other punative response. I pointed out that I didn't send my son to school to be hit and if the school couldn't protect him that he had my permission to protect himself. I encouraged the teacher to share my note with the principal if she felt it necessary. The other child was suspended from school until it could be determined that he was once again getting his Ritalin. |
That sounds as if it was handled well.
If the child actually was on Ritalin, but accidentally was not/someone unprofessional might have decided it wasn't necessary, it was only correct to ensure he would be on meds/get the correct treatment for both the others' safely and the kid's social and academic perspective.
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886
Mongolian Platypus
Joined: Jan 16, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 5270
Location: seattle
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| Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 6:55 pm Post subject: |
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Shame on the mother for letting her continue to attend that school.
Nonetheless, hopefully the kid will get what he deserves. Even though he's 12, he deserves more than a slap on the wrist and expulsion.
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AngryReptileKeeper
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Oct 10, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 44
Location: St. Louis, MO
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| Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 5:40 pm Post subject: |
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Is there something wrong when I'm not even surprised by this sort of thing anymore? 
While I haven't been through what this poor girl has, I've had some nast experiences with school.
I've been slapped in the face by a student, threatened with bodily harm, and once had a teachers' aide slap me on the ass in highschool (I raised hell about that one and got suspended for a week). And of course, it was all my fault.  Nothing was ever done. 
| Quote: | | As far as the other kids watching and laughing, haven't you ever found yourself doing that when you didn't want to? It's hard to stand up to group pressure and takes practice. |
Absolutely not! I knew better. |
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MikeH106
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Joined: May 20, 2006
Age: 30
Posts: 1113
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| Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 8:04 am Post subject: |
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This is mortifying.
I was going to say something controversial, but I didn't want to offend anyone. Nevertheless, I think we need far more respect than we currently get.
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violet_yoshi
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 16, 2004
Age: 31
Posts: 1385
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| Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 8:11 am Post subject: |
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| Amazing. This kid raped a girl on the playground while other children watched, and he still is going to the school. Just more of the concept that the laws of society don't apply to inside a schoolhouse. Absolutely repulsive. I just can't wrap my mind around this, the faculty has to know this has been going on. The little sadist deserves to be locked away, he preys on people like a animal preys on other animals. I don't know what I would do if it was my daughter. I'd pull her out of the school, maybe go on Oprah. I don't know, I mean if she didn't want me to go on Oprah I wouldn't but it's like, something people should know about. Like they should go on Oprah or Dr. Phil and humiliate the school. |
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Lucid
Hummingbird
Joined: Aug 04, 2008
Posts: 22
Location: 8th Spatial Dimension
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| Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 7:08 pm Post subject: |
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| Roxas_XIII wrote: | | If I ruled the world, this kid would burn. At the stake. |
Seconded.
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Yupa
Avatar of Evil
Joined: May 15, 2005
Age: 23
Posts: 1567
Location: Florida
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| Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 8:40 pm Post subject: |
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| Honestly, I REALLY, REALLY don't think the kid who did this and his friends actually UNDERSTOOD what it was exactly that they were doing. |
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Katie_WPG
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 08, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 509
Location: Winnipeg, MB, Canada
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| Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 10:23 pm Post subject: |
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Considering that this was ALREADY a "special school", it's possible that there isn't anywhere else for this boy TO go.
It doesn't say anything about this, but it's possible that he's already been expelled from "normal schools", and so now he's in one of the only schools that HAS to take him.
This is a pretty big wake-up call to parents who believe that a special ed school is a better option than mainstream schools. If anything, their kids are LESS safe in schools like these. |
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sunshower
Ethereality
Joined: Aug 18, 2006
Age: 113
Posts: 4333
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| Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 10:51 pm Post subject: |
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| AngryReptileKeeper wrote: | Is there something wrong when I'm not even surprised by this sort of thing anymore?
While I haven't been through what this poor girl has, I've had some nast experiences with school.
I've been slapped in the face by a student, threatened with bodily harm, and once had a teachers' aide slap me on the ass in highschool (I raised hell about that one and got suspended for a week). And of course, it was all my fault. Nothing was ever done.
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Me too (slapped in the face that is). My hair was pulled, my things were stolen, people threw tanbark and stuff at me and down my neck. People would trap me in the tunnel in the playground and not let me out. One day I snapped and turned around and slapped the girl standing behind me across the face after my hair was tugged, but it turned out it wasn't her. Of course, I was sent straight to the principal and I got into all the sh** for it. In my first school I got badly bullied throughout class time and in the playground, verbally and physically, and the principal and teachers didn't see fit to step in and do something about it.
I reckon often teachers/principals see things from the bully's perspective because they haven't been victims themselves, but there's no excuse for what this school has effectively condoned. This was no face slapping or tanbark throwing, this was serious sexual abuse and rape.
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musicforanna
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 01, 2006
Age: 29
Posts: 955
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
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| Posted: Mon Oct 20, 2008 3:47 am Post subject: |
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| I agree with a lot of ya'll. And it does burn me with fury too, especially since although I haven't been raped in the anus with foreign objects I still of course was made an easy target, being hit with a piss balloon and thrown down a staircase among other things weren't fun either (food fights, hit with books, wet tp thrown at me, etc). |
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Shadowgirl
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 21, 2006
Age: 24
Posts: 500
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| Posted: Sun Oct 26, 2008 3:42 pm Post subject: |
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That punk needs to go to jail and face some consequences for that. He needs to learn that those kinds of actions are not okay.
I was bullied badly but had been thankful something like that never happened to me. Still to hear it happened to someone else is painful.
That poor girl. I wish I could do something for her.
I was verbally and physically abused by bullies since preschool. So I do know the impact bullying can have on someone. I won't say I know how she feels since I really don't but I do have sympathy for her.
I was made fun of and called things like "reject", "retard", "stupid", Bi*** its a long list.
In middle school I was the only girl in my class that I had to stay in most of the day and imagine that and going through puberty at the same time. I had to wear oversize clothes to hide everything.
If I was sitting or laying on one of the beanbags alone in the corner where I attempted to stay away from everyone and they wanted it one would just snatch it out from under me then hit me with it a few times.
I wasn't even allowed to defend myself since if the boys hit me they got away with it and if I even tried to stand up for myself I was the one that got it. |
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SilverPikmin
Deinonychus
Joined: Aug 02, 2008
Posts: 382
Location: Merseyside, England, UK
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| Posted: Sun Oct 26, 2008 6:04 pm Post subject: |
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| That's frightening! I definitely do not think the boy should allowed back into the school, at least not until he has had some serious counselling. |
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Shadowgirl
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 21, 2006
Age: 24
Posts: 500
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| Posted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 10:29 am Post subject: |
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| SilverPikmin wrote: | | That's frightening! I definitely do not think the boy should allowed back into the school, at least not until he has had some serious counselling. |
Yes he needs to be put into a program and be required to complete it. |
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ToadOfSteel
unlovable
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 25
Posts: 6716
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 1:01 pm Post subject: |
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It's all because stupid NT's cant get their tiny brains wrapped around the idea that children are inherently destructive from about age 5 if not properly raised. They only see their "little angels"...
If I were on that playground, I would seriously have kicked the living sh** out of that kid, took him out to the street, and curb stomped him. I wouldn't even care if I got aggravated assault or child abuse charges at that point...
Seriously, just reading that, it took all of my emotional control to keep myself from flipping out randomly at people that have no clue what I just read...
| AngryReptileKeeper wrote: | | I've been slapped in the face by a student, threatened with bodily harm, and once had a teachers' aide slap me on the ass in highschool (I raised hell about that one and got suspended for a week). And of course, it was all my fault. Nothing was ever done. |
One time in middle school I got hit in the back of the head with a textbook. That was the one time the school took any actions against bullies in my time there. He got a single in-school suspension, which basically means an all-day detention where your work is brought to you. Later that month, while changing in the physed locker room, he and a couple other guys got into a fight. I kicked him barefoot once (not even that hard), and I end up with a week of detentions... Of all the times I was sent to the office, that was one of two times where I actually got into any serious trouble with the school system. Most of the times, however, I think the principals feared I would flip out on them, as I was indiscriminate when I would flip out on people. |
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