Do you know what makes people reject you?

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Are you sure what the reason is for rejecting you?
Totally sure 4%  4%  [ 6 ]
Have a pretty good idea 22%  22%  [ 33 ]
I have some clues 45%  45%  [ 68 ]
No idea 21%  21%  [ 32 ]
I'm not particularly rejected 6%  6%  [ 9 ]
I never gave it any thought 2%  2%  [ 3 ]
Total votes : 151

XFilesGeek
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13 Jan 2013, 1:30 pm

A few distinct possibilities:

1. Androgyny.

2. Arrogance (both real and perceived).

3. Bluntness/calling it like I see it.

4. Pathological inability to be impressed by displays of "social dominance."

5. Am a nearly 30 year old virgin who collects action figures.

:shrug:


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Curiotical
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13 Jan 2013, 1:43 pm

Most people who reject me do so because they're pitifully shallow individuals who base the value of a person's life upon how much they conform to the rest of society.


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Lockheart
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13 Jan 2013, 7:25 pm

I used to obsess over this question. I've now given that up as a waste of time and energy because it's a very good way to get depressed. Besides, to my everlasting bewilderment, there are people out there who actually seem to like me for who I am. Yes, they are few and far between, and therefore hard to find, but I don't need much of a social circle and it's a blessing to have friends I can be my quirky self with.

CyclopsSummers wrote:
I find it so odd that a complete stranger will ask me 'Where do you work?', or 'What are you studying?' so as if to gauge what's my position on the ladder of society. I think it's none of a stranger's business to inquire into what I do for a living upon first meeting. I'd rather be asked about what my interests and hobbies are, even though that could be seens as a more 'intimate' question. My work is not my life, I've got a personality and thoughts, and I want to relate to people on basis of THAT.


Exactly! I also find it weird that the first thing people ask is "What do you do?" (for a living). When I was working, I hated my job with a fiery passion. The last thing I wanted was to be defined by it, and it's a classification question, no doubt. It's a little easier to answer now that I'm a student and enjoy what I'm studying. Still, it's a bewildering question.



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13 Jan 2013, 11:50 pm

There's a hidden imp in me that would like to answer those intrusive people who ask the "what do you do" question with ... "I write and paint and have wild sex with my boyfriend twice a day, play with my cat, and spend my spare time astral travelling. How about you?" :lol:



Lockheart
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14 Jan 2013, 1:51 am

B19 wrote:
There's a hidden imp in me that would like to answer those intrusive people who ask the "what do you do" question with ... "I write and paint and have wild sex with my boyfriend twice a day, play with my cat, and spend my spare time astral travelling. How about you?" :lol:


:lol: I've obviously been taking the "What do you do?" question too seriously...



Last edited by Lockheart on 14 Jan 2013, 3:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

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14 Jan 2013, 2:59 am

Greentea wrote:
For those who are mostly rejected, like me, are you totally sure you know why? I, personally, don't have the faintest idea...


Hard to say what "rejected" means. I don't really have friends. Is that because people reject me, or is it because I lack both the ability and initiative to even try to form connections with others, so I never even appear on their radar? Hard to say. Maybe I'll never know.

I do know I do some things that irritate people: 1) negativity, 2) my voice, 3) I often look irritated due to sensory overload, and people interpret this as meaning I am irritated at them.



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14 Jan 2013, 6:24 am

I wish I knew why people reject me.

It may be because my body language, gait, expression (or lack of it) are slightly "off".

It may be because I'm not interested in the things most people are interested in. For other men the main one is sport. When someone asks me what football team I support and I say that I don't follow the sport they seem to take it as a rejection of them. I try to act polite and ask what team they support, how their season is going etc but by then the damage is done and they don't want to know me any more.

I've always thought that my appearance makes people reject me too - I'm not attractive so people don't give me a second chance.

I'm not "cool" either and I'm not rich. I sometimes wonder whether people reject me because there is nothing they can "get" from me.



Last edited by Falloy on 15 Jan 2013, 1:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

Catharascotia
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14 Jan 2013, 10:15 pm

restlesspirit wrote:
As a woman i used to think my rejections were appearance based,, NTs would tell me im attractive but i didnt believe them,, but always had a suspection that my personality was to blame also.. now with the aspergers being obvious I realised it wasnt my look but being different and with me for some reason it comes across as arrogant and self centered, which if course results in a lot of rejections,, its a relieft but also a burden now to know what the real issue is.


This is me exactly. I used to think, and still think in part, that it's appearance based, especially when guys treat me like I'm invisible (which is pretty much always). I've also had people dislike me and look down on me from the moment they met me, so I couldn't think of any other reason. I don't necessarily think I come across as arrogant, just awkward and shy. But even when I'm doing my very best to be friendly, I still get rejected, and it's then that I'm really confused about why, I feel like I give off some indefinable loser aura that makes people just take one look at me and decide I'm not worth their time.



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15 Jan 2013, 12:30 am

Well, clearly I say the wrong things or fail to say the right things, because about 20% of the sentences I offer to people I don't know well elicit an appalled stare. It's a pretty obvious one, because I'm not good at reading faces but this is unmistakable. Now, what is wrong with what I say or what I was supposed to say, well, I haven't figured that out and I probably never will.

They generally treat me decently until I get to the first of these "wrong" statements; however, this happens in any conversation longer than a few phrases (and sometimes in shorter ones). Well, except when I was fat or when I was a kid with frizzy hair & thick glasses. Back then they treated me badly from the get go.



littlelily613
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15 Jan 2013, 8:12 am

I have a pretty good idea, but I could be wrong, of course. It is probably because of my atrocious social skills. I am awkward to be around, so people frequently avoid me. I am assuming that is why. I didn't know this until people began to point out how weird I was though.


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