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garyww
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18 Jan 2009, 1:18 am

I thought that would work as I have a tendency to reduce the sex drive in most women I meet.


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BellaDonna
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18 Jan 2009, 2:01 am

BellaDonna wrote:
Have a good root.

I am not interested in older men, yuk! They do not turn me on or my idea of a good root.



0_equals_true
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18 Jan 2009, 9:04 am

release_the_bats have you considered it could be more about their age and less about the generation. I think that would make more sense biologically. People always go on about how much better it was in their time, but if you look at the history they had problems just like today.

In nature the 50s was pretty superficial just like today. The sexual revolution wasn't a new thing, it just opposed Victorian sensibilities trying to keep a lid on it.



FrogGirl
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18 Jan 2009, 11:16 pm

I have the oposite problem. I have absolutely no sex drive at all. The Prozac, Straterra and hormonal imbalace(or the pill when on it) messes it all up. My husband is oposite of me.



release_the_bats
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20 Jan 2009, 1:00 am

0_equals_true wrote:
release_the_bats have you considered it could be more about their age and less about the generation. I think that would make more sense biologically. People always go on about how much better it was in their time, but if you look at the history they had problems just like today.


Yes, I have considered these things, and I agree with you, especially on the last point. I was just idly speculating.

Anyway, I seem to have found the solution. When I want sex but can't have it, I just redirect that energy into my music. Good for me and the music.



presentjoy
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20 Jan 2009, 8:55 am

being in relationship with someone who has a lower sex drive is tricky, but so, is the issue that he would feel inadequate or that she is a sex maniac (the whole, insatiable woman "problem"). we all come with different rhythms, and those rhythms aren't constant. and im glad garyww pointed out that it's mainly brain based, even on the manly side.
i went thru a time of feeling totally abnormal and wrong for having a high libido (higher than partner). i went through times when i knew i was doing it too much.

but then a time of a sort of discovery: masturbating/sex as a stim.
oh yes, it's stimulating for everyone, integrating for everyone, but for autistic people i think it can have a lot of benefits
i started early and had no latency period and went through periods of being compulsive with it. that extended to sex when i started up with that. i find that i literally am more coherent verbally, can feel my body more (it doesn't feel like it's in pieces), sensory defensiveness lessened, of course i sleep better, etc. i was depressed growing up too, and sure, may have been escape but i think there was a desire component as well as a need for integration. i have been near-meltdown, not really feeling sexual, but needing comfort from my partner and then we have good sex and it brings me right to a more integrated place.

just a thought. if there is any sensory component, yoga would help, because it has many integrating benefits, compresses (applying weight to) joints, increasing blood flow to other areas. however if practiced in certain ways yoga can be very activating and can increase your libido. kundalini yoga focuses a lot on energy. if you're interested in breath work, google nadi shodana (a calming, centering breath), and kapalabhati (an activating breath, raises energy and heat). im a trained yoga teacher pm me if you want to talk more abt this.


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BellaDonna
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21 Jan 2009, 9:36 pm

I have never really had a problem with being incompatiable. All the men I have been with have had strong sex drives.



0_equals_true
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22 Jan 2009, 1:48 pm

release_the_bats wrote:
Yes, I have considered these things, and I agree with you, especially on the last point. I was just idly speculating.

Anyway, I seem to have found the solution. When I want sex but can't have it, I just redirect that energy into my music. Good for me and the music.

Hot :D



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23 Jan 2009, 2:58 pm

release_the_bats wrote:
Anyway, I seem to have found the solution. When I want sex but can't have it, I just redirect that energy into my music. Good for me and the music.


Yes, this is true for me too. If I channel that energy into piano, keyboard and/or singing, the results can be swell. Also I channel that energy into dance and have a really good time of it.

I feel the same way about sex (and self-pleasure) as presentjoy.
It relieves anxiety, makes me sleep well, focuses my thoughts, pulls myself together, brings me back to the present, and makes me feel one with myself again. A part of it is because of the exercise of sex, but mostly, of course, the pleasure.
I do also enjoy Yoga and the feelings of awareness it brings; it can be pleasurable as well.


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Branwen
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09 Mar 2009, 1:17 pm

I am in the same position of wanting to stop my sexual desire...have considered clitoral circumcision and really wish it was available here in the US...my mate is suffering from ED and I am experiencing physical discomfort and extreme anxiety due to my lack of satisfaction.
I try the toys and masturbation but that actually increases my libido even more and I still have the desire to be held and loved by him...he loves me don't take that the wrong way but shows little affection these days due to my constant longing for sex.
He got some herbal stuff but stopped taking it...he seems to have no desire to even try.
I do not want to seek pleasure out of our relationship.
I found that yoga and meditation is stimulating for me as well...
Psychologically this is affecting me...and I feel unwanted and undesirable...and I have to do something.
I wanted to say that I felt a bit better finding out that I am not alone with this...
I know I have no sexual desire on Paxil so maybe I can try St. John's Wort???? Does anyone know if that might help?



2ukenkerl
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09 Mar 2009, 9:05 pm

release_the_bats wrote:
Yes, and I've known men who reported a that their sex drive began to decrease when they got into their 40's. In fact, every 40-something-year-old man with whom I've been intimate has had a lower sex drive than me and has said that his sex drive was higher when he was younger. None of them could do it more than once a day.

Even men in their 30's seem to find sex more tiring than men in their 20's. I remember back in the college days, it was normal for me and my then bf to have sex and then get right up and go do something else. We did this about 3 times per day on average. It was only the extra long sessions that made us want to nap afterwards.

Now it's been a long time since I've been with a man in his twenties, so I basically expect men to fall asleep for at least an hour after sex. And I've gotten used to doing it more than once in a day being a rare occasion. It doesn't matter much to me - I care more about other qualities in a partner.

In fact, that's one of the reasons I want to learn how to decrease my sex drive. If I find a great guy with a lower sex drive, I don't want him to ever feel inadequate, like he can't keep up with me, or please me enough or something. I would hate for that to be an issue in an otherwise good relationship.


Actually, I think it is a MYTH that the refractory period is SO long, etc... I'M in my 40s! I have a STRONG sex drive. I sometimes wish I could shut it down. My refractory period can be pretty short. If I want, I can virtually get rid of it. And I certainly wouldn't fall asleep for an hour.

As for reducing the sex drive, I have NO idea.



Newmie
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13 Mar 2009, 9:54 pm

At one time I made religion a hobby, I would go and read about different types, etc.
Walk through the streets trying to feel 'light' or without wants of that type, I think I thought I was some sort of monk....
Spent time helping others, organizing dating site partys that I never dated at/ gave profile advice,,,,,etc
Worked for a few years as I recall....

Take the focus off yourself,
Good luck :)



Chibi_Neko
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16 Mar 2009, 3:25 pm

Are there anyway to lower the sex drives of men?

My husband like to playfuly remind me of having sex, I am not in the mood often... and while he tells me not to worry about it, I can't help but feel pressured and bad about it.

I know how men are, but I can't just push a button to make myself horny.


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digger1
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16 Mar 2009, 11:19 pm

christ, why can't my wife be a horn dog instead of a cold fish?

sigh



benjimanbreeg
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17 Mar 2009, 8:48 pm

Just have plenty of sex


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LemonBubblez
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20 Mar 2009, 9:01 am

I want to destroy my sex drive permanently :( I'm approaching 18 and it's already causing intense pain.