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Should I tell my 10 y/o daughter Previous  1, 2  
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SilverPikmin
Deinonychus
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Joined: Aug 02, 2008
Posts: 382
Location: Merseyside, England, UK

PostPosted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 12:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was told at 8 and didn't really understand it, by around 10 I was coming to terms with it and accepted it. It depends on the individual really. Some people will handle it better than others. You should show her this site if you decide to tell her, it helped me a lot in learning about Asperger's and not getting depressed over it.
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Intempestivai
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2009 11:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would tell her. Sometimes it helps to put a name on something, to keep it from being a "monster-under-the-bed". Anyway, if she has internet access she may find out herself. At age 11 I Googled my "symptoms" to see if my difference was more than just oddness. I was formally diagnosed a year ago. Kids want to know, in most cases, and will try to find out, in some. Would you tell her as a teenager? It's only three years away.
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jamesp420
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PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2009 11:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I found out when I was about 8 and really didn't care until about 15 so I think it depends on the person. If your daughter has an accepting and calm personality then there would be no problem in telling her.
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reader55
Tufted Titmouse
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 11:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would tell her. Then whenever, if ever, a friend comes out to her, she can make a connection with her friend and only make the friendship deeper. I found out at 13. I think it was a good age, but I really didn't care until I was 14. Now I'm proud and even though I don't spout it out to random people on the street, I'm not ashamed of it at all and I feel comfortable with the labels of autistic and asperger's syndrome. It's just a part of me and I don't make it the only part of me, but I don't try and ignore the diagnosis.
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Roxas_XIII
Fortune favors the bold
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 11:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tell her. She's gonna find out anyways, and if she does find out on her own, she's gonna hate you for keeping it a secret. Knowing yourself is the first step in changing yourself.

At this point i would've liked to say "Know thyself" in Latin to emphasize my point, but I don't know the phrase in Latin. Damn it. Need to go watch The Matrix again...
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Keith
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 2:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

10? I hate the way my parents always thought I was too immature to understand anything. Just tell her straight, what she has, what it means, her limitations, and how it's not the end of the world. In that order, I would think.

You'd be surprised at what kids understand these days, depending how you tell them. Get some reference material and some visual aids to help. Using bad examples always threw me off.

A bad example would be "look before you leap" as it could be taken literally, instead go for something that really applies, and include real examples
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aurea
Phoenix
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 7:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My 10 year old son just said tell her. Unless your embarrassed by her, and if you are thats your problem not hers. He said it helped him to understand who he was.
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MorbidMiss
Deinonychus
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 4:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am a parent, not a child, but it never once occurred to me to Not tell my son he has Asperger's. I think they have a right to know and understand that they are wired differently and sometimes having a name for it is comforting.
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Meg72
Tufted Titmouse
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 3:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My autistic brother is 10. He doesn't know yet but my parents know they have to tell him soon, before he goes into the autism base at secondary school next year. He knows he's different but it doesn't seem to bother him that much. He doesn't seem to care why he's different. He just accepts it. But we will tell him soon I'm sure.
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Blake_be_cool
Phoenix
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 4:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think you should if not already.
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Karanafish
Butterfly
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Joined: Jul 06, 2011
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 2:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It really does depend, if you tell her ask her if she wants you to tell her friends, etc. Some kids like to talk about having Aspergers and some don't, you can wait longer, maybe a year or so, but if she asks, probably you should tell her Cool
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Inspirations
Blue Jay
Blue Jay


Joined: Dec 25, 2011
Posts: 85
Location: England

PostPosted: Sun Dec 25, 2011 11:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tell her she is lucky to be wired differently to appreciate the true beauty of the world and she gets to experience the wonderful magic of imagination and creativity and being her own special person and not just a boring one of the crowd. Smile
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LouHusky
Raven
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 3:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am 10 and I have known since I was 6 though I didn't entirely understand it then, I have learned a lot lot more since and I like being different and it was nice to know what was 'wrong' with me.

Lou
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Mama_to_Grace
Phoenix
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Joined: Aug 02, 2009
Posts: 915

PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2012 9:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My daughter is 8 and she knows. She's not accepted it yet really and gets upset that she's different. She cries that she wants things to be easy. Sometimes she cries that things are so much harder for her than others but I point out the positives too. It's a process. I have shown her this board and she really gets happy when she sees posts by other kids like her...but she is not ready to post here yet. One especially good moment for her was reading the thread on what makes you mad...she laughed so much and said "they are all just like me,". So in that regard, knowing that the difference has a name and that there are other kids out there like her has helped.
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