How do I learn to verbally intimidate people?

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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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16 Feb 2009, 5:00 pm

Mw99 wrote:
ZEGH8578 wrote:
so, in some cases, neither ignoring nor reacting to them will make any difference. in this case, an attitude change, outwards, towards other people may be more helpful. they see you interact openly with people around you, they will be more reluctant to mob against someone who has friends, than someone who wanders around allone.


That strategy sounds like it could work. Problem is, with my social skills, that's not really an option.

Yeah, if we all could somehow manage our own posse of pals, would we have any problems, lol? The problem for many of us is, that isn't an option or if it's an option, it's not reliable since many of us have trouble maintaining our status in our social group, for whatever reason.



slowmutant
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16 Feb 2009, 5:04 pm

Quote:
Yeah, if we all could somehow manage our own posse of pals


Playa haters?



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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16 Feb 2009, 5:51 pm

slowmutant wrote:
Playa haters?


Playa lovers who bond with each other at your expense, ie: by downgrading you when you aren't around and agreeing that you aren't worthy of their friendship or salvagable.
Suddenly they all love each other while hating you.



slowmutant
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16 Feb 2009, 6:00 pm

Dave Chapelle did a skit called "Playa Haters Ball." Very funny. I found a clip of it on YouTube and tried to embed into my last post on this thread.



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26 Mar 2009, 4:57 am

irene wrote:
I have been told for years that I intimitate people. Nothing was done deliberately, but I do manage to make them feel as though they are stupid. From what I understand about the situation is that somebody would say something that I don't understand, and then I would repeat back to them what they just said in a way that make sense to me. You see alot of people use double negatives more than once which gets kind of confusing.

I think that it also could be that someone makes a statement in a socially acceptable manner, another words "beating around the bush" and I would repeat it in a more direct manner. That usually gets a huff out of them.

Another way of dealing with these kind of situations is to NOT LET ANYONE PUSH YOUR BUTTONS. If someone says something to you that you don't like totally ignore them. Try your best not to let it show on your face. So far with me it's been working with someone at my job. But he's rather stupid and likes to try to cover it up by being a wise ass. Just remember there are alot of people out there who are so bored that they find their enjoyment in getting others upset. It is not worth you getting all upset just to get the last word in, let the other person to do it. Frequently if you don't say anything at all when they start this kind of bull sh** they will feel pretty stupid. Just walk away. Who cares what they say. I hope you don't.

Good luck.

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For that I envy you. :(



ThisisjusthowItalk
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27 Mar 2009, 12:12 am

Mw99 wrote:
I want to learn "verbal intimidation" because I want to be able to defend myself, verbally, the next time someone gives me a hard time or tries to publicly humiliate me.
Don't bother. It's a waste of time. Maintain a serene, self-confident, and positive demeanor. Be polite, even when the person you are addressing is not being so polite. Be friendly and helpful, even to people who are not being so friendly or helpful. Then find someone more pleasant to talk to, and forget the entire scene.

This is how such scenes are handled by intelligent, educated adults.

The next thing you will be called, of course, is "aloof and arrogant." Congratulations: a few soft-spoken words just caused you to look scarier than a snorting Texas Longhorn. These accusations used to get me very riled, but I eventually realized that, on a perverse level, it is polite to engage in sessions of light-hearted sparring, even in the full bloom of adulthood. If you watch people long enough, you will see them doing this all the time.

I worked out how to deal with it, though: if the person the provocations are coming from is someone you know you're on good terms with (like they've been civil to you in the past, done you favors, lent you cigarettes and so on), you're supposed to smile and ask him/her, very plainly, to stop. If the smile isn't there, though, you'll look like you're in a bad mood, and you'll get a bunch of inquiries about whether you have something going on at home. Practice the smile thing in a mirror. It doesn't matter if it looks affected and dorky. They'll get it.

With people I don't know or don't really like, though, I fall back on my helpful/polite front and ignore all efforts at meaningful social interaction. It has become clear to me that keeping your mood static and formulaic blocks people out, though. I think most people find it very unpleasant to have done to them. I don't think anyone likes to be excluded. It's an effective weapon.