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Message |
Forum: Love and Dating Topic: AS boyfriend disappearing on me for a long time |
| xaroula |
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Posted: 30 May 2017, 5:37 pm
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Replies: 59
Views: 4,929
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| I agree a sh***y action doesn't make a sh***y person. The thing is we only come on here and ask advice when we are in a difficult situation so people don't hear the other side. I had the same thing recently with my Aspie friend and people telling me he wasn't behaving well or wasn't a good person. ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: AS boyfriend disappearing on me for a long time |
| xaroula |
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Posted: 30 May 2017, 9:44 am
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Replies: 59
Views: 4,929
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| Not saying it was nice behavior. But I don't think I'll ever consider him a sh***y person. I know him well enough to know he doesn't want to hurt people. Then again, who knows, maybe I'm in denial about this too. Anyway, as I said I have no hard feelings towards him and I prefer to forgive and move ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: AS boyfriend disappearing on me for a long time |
| xaroula |
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Posted: 30 May 2017, 2:59 am
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Replies: 59
Views: 4,929
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| Well, I guess you were all right then, I just didn't want to believe it. :( His feelings did change. He is not in love anymore. He disappeared because he was struggling with his own issues and at the time we talked he wasn't sure if the change he was feeling was due to his issues or if indeed he had... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: AS boyfriend disappearing on me for a long time |
| xaroula |
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Posted: 27 May 2017, 8:54 pm
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Replies: 59
Views: 4,929
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| I wouldn't put up with that from my boyfriend. To me I it wouldn't feel like a serious relationship if at will he just doesn't contact me for weeks up to a couple months. That would be like repeatedly getting ghosted and always wondering if you'll here from him again, if he's moved on if he's in th... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: AS boyfriend disappearing on me for a long time |
| xaroula |
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Posted: 27 May 2017, 11:09 am
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Replies: 59
Views: 4,929
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| Well, he texted me a few minutes ago. After 2 months!! He said he'll see me tomorrow. I'm quite happy I'll see him but I'm also freaking out big time. I don't know what he wants to say, maybe it's just to tell me to break up for good. But if not, if for example it's about repeating to me how he's no... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: AS boyfriend disappearing on me for a long time |
| xaroula |
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Posted: 27 May 2017, 6:11 am
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Replies: 59
Views: 4,929
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| Too late for this one. Before reading your post here I send him some messages telling him I love him and I want him in my life and that I hope that he considers meeting me since he's around here. I'm a little drunk so I didn't have a lot of discipline. Well.. I don't know, I'm afraid that if I let ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: AS boyfriend disappearing on me for a long time |
| xaroula |
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Posted: 26 May 2017, 7:40 pm
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Replies: 59
Views: 4,929
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| While I'm sure you didn't realize that then, but talking about breaking up was a really bad idea. I'm sure that triggered his memories and lead to him disappearing. I think at least a few aspies have serious troubles with serial monogamy. At least for me, cheating is to switch partner, and it is th... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: AS boyfriend disappearing on me for a long time |
| xaroula |
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Posted: 26 May 2017, 8:21 am
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Replies: 59
Views: 4,929
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| I'm only guessing here, but he might be afraid of getting too deep into a relationship, and so getting out before that happens could be a possible "solution" for him. After all, being 7 years in an LTR is far longer than only 3, so it is likely he had invested far more emotionally in the ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: AS boyfriend disappearing on me for a long time |
| xaroula |
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Posted: 26 May 2017, 7:02 am
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Replies: 59
Views: 4,929
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| Thanks so much! You have been very helpful! Naturally, I don't know him, but I go on auto-pilot with that kind of things. A while ago, wife heard (she is aspie too) that couples should exchange "I love you" and similar things regularly, but I'm afraid that I very quickly learnt how to say ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: AS boyfriend disappearing on me for a long time |
| xaroula |
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Posted: 26 May 2017, 6:15 am
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Replies: 59
Views: 4,929
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One more question for all of you, if you can.
How can I get an answer out of him? I need to get him to tell me he doesn't love me anymore if I don't want to go crazy. I feel I'm losing my mind over this and I can't move on if I don't have a clear answer. |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: AS boyfriend disappearing on me for a long time |
| xaroula |
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Posted: 26 May 2017, 5:57 am
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Replies: 59
Views: 4,929
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| I read your complete initial post now, so I can come with a little more detailed answer. Yes, stress can certainly make us withdraw from communication with the rest of the world, but, in my experience, I would still communicate with a gf or love interest. She would be the last one I cut off communi... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: AS boyfriend disappearing on me for a long time |
| xaroula |
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Posted: 25 May 2017, 2:38 am
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Replies: 59
Views: 4,929
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cberg wrote: Still I see no trouble in letting them know what's going on.
I'm just not sure it will be well-received by them, that's all. But well, I'll think about how I could go about it. 
Thanks. |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: AS boyfriend disappearing on me for a long time |
| xaroula |
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Posted: 24 May 2017, 7:23 pm
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Replies: 59
Views: 4,929
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| I wouldn't see any problem with asking that other friend some of the same questions. However much you follow up is your call though I also strongly encourage it. I would love to ask those questions, believe me, I want to understand as much of it as I can. But I hesitate. This friend (as well as mos... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: AS boyfriend disappearing on me for a long time |
| xaroula |
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Posted: 24 May 2017, 6:03 pm
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Replies: 59
Views: 4,929
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| Just shows once more that this kind of behavior (disappearing) means they are not serious about it or think of it like a friendship only. I don't think there is any reason at all to tolerate that kind of thing (from a partner), and especially not if he/she is aspie/neurodiverse. Please don't say he... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: AS boyfriend disappearing on me for a long time |
| xaroula |
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Posted: 24 May 2017, 10:47 am
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Replies: 59
Views: 4,929
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| Just to update you all.. I think it's clear it's over now. Not only he hasn't contacted me in almost 2 months, I sent him an email last week asking if he'd like to see me because I had some time to go visit him. He hasn't replied. And I actually learned from a common friend that he is here, in my ci... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: AS boyfriend disappearing on me for a long time |
| xaroula |
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Posted: 16 May 2017, 10:33 pm
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Replies: 59
Views: 4,929
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| Well I think it's surprising to us when people stay in our lives sometimes & we feel subject to a lot of social anxiety from doubts that we've been seriously accepted. While I'm not sure it applies for everyone I think time alone reflects a lot of thoughts toward others. I see. Well I have to a... |
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