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Message |
Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Standing Up for Myself, Losing the Relationship |
| Surf Rider |
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Posted: 20 Apr 2017, 6:39 pm
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Replies: 9
Views: 534
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| Maybe the problem isn't with you standing up for yourself, but with you believing what you read in self-help books. Not everybody is looking to be friends. There are many other kinds of relationships (such as rivals and exes) that make up the interesting variety of human interpersonal experiences. ... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Standing Up for Myself, Losing the Relationship |
| Surf Rider |
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Posted: 20 Apr 2017, 6:29 pm
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Replies: 9
Views: 534
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| 1) Textbook Tug of War Some random class mate? I sure wouldn't want to hang around someone who continued to talk to me with hostility. 2) Girlfriend Not on the Same Wavelength If I were the girlfriend, I probably would have thanked you for your honesty, wished you the best, and said a polite goodby... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Standing Up for Myself, Losing the Relationship |
| Surf Rider |
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Posted: 19 Apr 2017, 11:37 pm
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Replies: 9
Views: 534
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| In most of the self-help stuff I've read and seen, when you stand up for yourself against someone who is behaving badly or is trying to bully or take advantage of you, the badly-behaving person abruptly stops, admits their mistake, apologizes, and might even become your new best friend. But in my ex... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Power Struggle with Roommate; Need Advice |
| Surf Rider |
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Posted: 06 Apr 2017, 1:55 pm
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Replies: 3
Views: 834
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| Thanks for the responses. It seems to have gotten a little better and he seems to have backed off a little. But I'm sure there will be some future conflicts. I feel good about myself when I stand up for myself, like I did in this situation. I do have some things I could improve with my cleaning but ... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Power Struggle with Roommate; Need Advice |
| Surf Rider |
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Posted: 04 Apr 2017, 6:02 pm
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Replies: 3
Views: 834
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| So I think that my roommate and I are locked in a power struggle. It's just the two of us in our apartment in student housing, so we're stuck with each other for the time being. There's kind of a hostile feeling between us, which I don't want. It started with him getting on my case for cleaning up a... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: "How creepy? Like Asperger's Creepy?" |
| Surf Rider |
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Posted: 13 Mar 2017, 1:40 pm
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Replies: 68
Views: 16,691
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| Think about the outrage that would have existed if a different group had been stereotyped: "He's moody and emotional, but not like women are," or "He's lazy, but not Mexican lazy." It's crazy that we accept certain groups as acceptable subjects of stereotypes and negative feeling... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: When do you say "I love you"? |
| Surf Rider |
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Posted: 26 Feb 2017, 1:10 am
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Replies: 23
Views: 1,207
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| I've been thinking about love lately. I can only think of two words that have a broader and more diverse set of definitions than the word "love:" the word "liberal" and the word "conservative." Love has actually been trouble for me, because I tend to love women who trea... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: What Can I Reasonably Expect from Therapy? |
| Surf Rider |
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Posted: 24 Feb 2017, 10:51 pm
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Replies: 15
Views: 1,048
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| Try describing the main thing u want from therapy--as specifically as u can---and I'll suggest possibilities. later this year my university team will be posting a way aspies can do therapy with each other. Old Professor. The thing that I really want in my life is that I want to find a partner. I do... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Autism, Harm, and Good Intentions |
| Surf Rider |
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Posted: 24 Feb 2017, 12:37 am
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Replies: 0
Views: 448
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| The philosopher Nietzsche wrote about two different systems of morality. In consequentialist morality, the morality of an action is judged by whether its outcome is good or bad. In deontological morality, the morality of an action is judged by whether its intention is good or evil. One moral code ju... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Can an Aspie be athletic?? |
| Surf Rider |
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Posted: 23 Feb 2017, 6:13 pm
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Replies: 180
Views: 14,996
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| In high school I played baseball, football, basketball and soccer. Now I also play tennis, racquetball, golf, and of course I surf. So the stereotype of the clumsy Aspie doesn't fit me. My Aspie dad was a PE major in college. He played college basketball and red-shirted on a college football team. H... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Is There Such Thing as a Practice Relationship? |
| Surf Rider |
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Posted: 19 Feb 2017, 9:25 pm
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Replies: 20
Views: 1,185
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| At this point I don't think I have problems with unclear communication or failing to add meaning to someone's life. It's more that I have a history of running away from good partners, and instead pursuing bad partners. Part of this is because I don't know how to accept affection and let myself be d... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: PROUD? |
| Surf Rider |
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Posted: 19 Feb 2017, 4:46 am
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Replies: 69
Views: 2,965
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| sure, they might have an easier time pairing gametes, but i think human society is complex enough that differences in that ability don't make anyone any "better" or "worse" than anyone else. You might have heard the hawks and doves example. In a society of birds, there are hawks... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Is There Such Thing as a Practice Relationship? |
| Surf Rider |
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Posted: 19 Feb 2017, 4:31 am
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Replies: 20
Views: 1,185
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| Yeah, with a psychopath. It would have to be with someone who can turn off their feelings or one who has no feelings. If you both knew upfront that it would never work out - i.e. you had religious differences or other differences that would make it so you could never get married - then why not? Yea... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: PROUD? |
| Surf Rider |
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Posted: 19 Feb 2017, 2:39 am
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Replies: 69
Views: 2,965
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| I am sick and tired of all these, poor me, I'm disabled, no one understands me posts. We are better then NTs! http://www.neurotypical.com/page1/page1.html Our ranks include https://www.disabled-world.com/artman/publish/article_2086.shtml . The only thing I hate about that site is that it is labeled... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Aspie optimism? Expecting people to be nice |
| Surf Rider |
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Posted: 19 Feb 2017, 2:20 am
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Replies: 17
Views: 1,137
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| I do think people will be nice, but not because I am. I aspire to be nice and warm and fuzzy, but I am not at all. I'm often mean. I'm a little intrigued by this. Do you enjoy being mean? It's OK if you do. Are you mean because you just can't help it, and it feels natural? Why are you mean to peopl... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Is There Such Thing as a Practice Relationship? |
| Surf Rider |
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Posted: 19 Feb 2017, 1:14 am
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Replies: 20
Views: 1,185
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| Yeah, with a psychopath. It would have to be with someone who can turn off their feelings or one who has no feelings. If you both knew upfront that it would never work out - i.e. you had religious differences or other differences that would make it so you could never get married - then why not? Yea... |
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