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Message |
Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: How do you feel about the world? |
| Vance |
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Posted: 25 Feb 2010, 10:53 pm
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Replies: 60
Views: 7,816
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| I'm generally happy to be in it, and hope to visit and experience more of the interesting bits in future years. I love the bits of it that comprise of beautiful countryside and historical places. |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Why do you keep quiet? |
| Vance |
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Posted: 25 Feb 2010, 10:42 pm
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Replies: 125
Views: 22,157
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| Better to be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt. I've always lived by this phrase and wish it were more true, but in my experience it's often the other way around - "It's better to open one's mouth and be known a fool than to allow doubt to spread." People look at quiet ty... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome |
| Vance |
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Posted: 25 Feb 2010, 10:26 pm
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Replies: 49
Views: 9,973
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| I can never sleep when I need to either. Recently I flew home to the UK for a while, and with the 5 hour time difference my messed up internal clock managed to go full circle to actually improve my sleeping patterns, rather than disturb them. For a while jetlag actually helped me sleep before 1 or 2... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Anxiety and the Online World |
| Vance |
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Posted: 21 Feb 2010, 11:33 am
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Replies: 22
Views: 3,358
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| I used to get as anxious over online interactions as offline, but it's something that's gotten easier for me over the years. The one area that still leaves me uncomfortable and prone to being as silent as I am in person is instant messaging, where I don't have the time to sit here editing and re-wri... |
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Forum: Work and finding a Job Topic: just got my yearly review... |
| Vance |
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Posted: 20 Feb 2010, 4:28 pm
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Replies: 9
Views: 1,829
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| One of my earlier reviews went similarly - I was actually rated higher than I'd expected for my practical skills in the job, but they needed to see serious improvement socially. If they hadn't been as pleased as they were with the quality of my work, I might not have kept the job. Since then they've... |
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Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion Topic: Tipping |
| Vance |
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Posted: 19 Feb 2010, 9:15 pm
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Replies: 23
Views: 4,312
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| I am always really nervous about tipping. I didn't realise for years that you are meant to tip a hairdresser. I didn't realise that for a long while too, although I think (and hope) that you don't need to do that where I originally grew up. Otherwise I've been making that mistake for longer than I ... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Forgotten the lost joy of computergames |
| Vance |
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Posted: 06 Feb 2010, 11:27 pm
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Replies: 10
Views: 1,630
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| I don't plan on giving up gaming anytime soon. It's been a good source of happy escapism for me since I was about 10, and although I don't get as enthusiastic about them as I used to, every so often there's still a standout game that makes an impression. It always saddens me a little bit to hear peo... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now? |
| Vance |
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Posted: 03 Feb 2010, 10:39 pm
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Replies: 35,860
Views: 2,035,929
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| 0. Neutral. Stressed and exhausted. Taxes, insurance, benefits, contracts, leases, licenses and anything else involving paperwork filled with confusing jargon are a needlessly complicated misery. I remember thinking as a kid that being forced to deal with this stuff in order to live your life seemed... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Finding gaps |
| Vance |
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Posted: 03 Feb 2010, 9:35 pm
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Replies: 3
Views: 1,055
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| On the rare occasions that I actually have an idea or feedback to contribute to discussions at work, I can never seem to find a gap, especially when there are a lot of people involved. No one leaves pauses that I can fill, with each person voicing their thoughts as they happen, the instant the previ... |
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Forum: Television, Film, and Video Topic: ADAM - New movie about someone with asperger's |
| Vance |
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Posted: 12 Jan 2010, 6:31 pm
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Replies: 91
Views: 25,061
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| I enjoyed the movie on the whole, but found Adam as a character very hard to watch at times. Some scenes felt too much like going down a checklist of Aspergers traits and needlessly exaggerating them as much as possible, while a more subtle approach could've been much more effective for me. Most of ... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: I hate false modesty, it's just another way to lie. |
| Vance |
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Posted: 26 Dec 2009, 12:31 pm
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Replies: 4
Views: 2,457
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| I just see it as another form of politeness, which you could say is a fundamentally dishonest concept in general if you want to be cynical about it. I've always felt that it's not my place to praise myself, and if I deserve praise I'll get it from others. In my line of work, and in creative fields i... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Do you eavestdrop on people? |
| Vance |
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Posted: 26 Dec 2009, 11:59 am
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Replies: 19
Views: 2,797
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| I don't go out of my way to hear what others are saying, but if I can hear them clearly from wherever I happen to be then I'll pay attention while pretending not to. I just see it as absorbing information that might help me understand people better, much like what was described in the people-watchin... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: dealing with arguments/being annoyed? |
| Vance |
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Posted: 25 Dec 2009, 11:55 am
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Replies: 9
Views: 1,670
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| I find it easy to stay calm and keep my emotions in check during arguments, and I think that can help your credibility a lot when making a point. And a good dose of apathy in general probably keeps me out of arguments in the first place. Despite being a fairly opinionated person, I can't say I relat... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: feeling lonely but interaction distresses |
| Vance |
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Posted: 25 Dec 2009, 11:33 am
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Replies: 4
Views: 1,302
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| I feel very much the same way, and that contradiction in needs and fears has always been very frustrating. My solution was meeting my wife - I was lucky enough to be accepted and able to (mostly) be myself around her, and that connection with one person was all it took to alleviate the loneliness. O... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Do you observe people? |
| Vance |
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Posted: 25 Dec 2009, 11:02 am
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Replies: 17
Views: 2,581
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| I like people-watching too, and it's pretty much the main way I learn anything about how to behave socially. Plus it can be kind of empowering, in a small way, to just sit and surreptitiously evaluate people - see who makes little mistakes, who looks like they'd rather be somewhere else, who looks l... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Joining in group conversations... |
| Vance |
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Posted: 24 Dec 2009, 11:15 pm
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Replies: 9
Views: 1,525
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| I struggle with this too, and it gets proportionately worse the more people are involved. My job involves occasional informal group discussions, and I often find myself staying silent the whole time because I can't find an appropriate gap in the conversation to make my contribution. It can be very f... |
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