don't forget the premiere of 24 is tonight!

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*waits patiently for 24 to start*

So I have been trying for FIVE YEARS to get my parents hooked on 24, and I finally suceeded this Christmas holiday. All it took was a massive, non-stop monologue on all things 24---and to get me to shut up they agreed to watch "a few" episodes of Season Five. Ha! Then they watched all of Season Five, Four, Three, Two, and One.

Now we have TiVo, and they are all counting down the hours to the new episode that they will now be able to watch commercial free, just like on the DVD.

I have two hours and 40 minutes until episode five starts. I am excited!

(I bought the DVD of the first four episodes, and it came with a preview of episode five---and the 24 podcast sent it to subsribers, too, for a double bonus. It is going to be G-O-O-D!)

And I thought my brothers were the personification of evil.

What happens! What happens! Tell me, tell me!

No, the cable is still out. I am very upset. At least I have iTunes to look forward to tomorrow night.

But...I have been scouring the Internet and from what I can gather, we see the reintroduction of the Bluetooth Group of Season Five. Only this time we find out that Graham is JACK'S BROTHER! And he (Graham) has a son who looks like Spawn of Kiefer (i.e. Kim), only a male version, so I guess it would be BoyKim. And then Jack tortures his brother because obviously he has a few repressed childhood memories coming to light, not to mention that because of his brother he just spend almost two years getting completely mauled by the Chinese.

And that's about all I can gather.

Wayne gives a speech, and the FBI gets Sandra Palmer's client ( ) Walid to infiltrate a terrorist cell in the detention facility.

Jack also boffed his brother's wife, apparently.

There was also something about a nuclear explosion, but I forgot what they said.

Is Wayne looking more presidential this time around? He was kind of getting on my nerves the last four hours, just 'cause he didn't seem to be a president. Well, he was heads and tails above Logan, that's for sure.

Was it a good episode, at least?

I don't think he looked presidential. Presidents don't have goatees. Plus, his voice did not sound authoritative like the other President Palmer. He sounded like a desperate guy at a singles' bar.

It was a good episode.

I think it would have been funny if Jack had been the one threatening Assad, and he was forced to kill himself.

Jack: Jack, put the gun down! We need him alive!

Jack: You know I can't do that! I've dedicated my life to stopping scum like him!

Jack: We can talk about this!

Yes, Jack Bauer meets Gollum...maybe on some YouTube video.

Actually, I thought it would have been interesting to see Jack go completely nuts after killing Curtis and hold the gun to his head and having Bill talk him down---or Chloe, or maybe even Assad who's all like, "Dude, thanks for saving my life. I need your help to stop Fayed who is going to detonate five nuclear bombs on your country in the next 20 hours if you don't help. Because we are all afraid of you, Jack. You have been the leading cause of death of Middle Eastern men in my groups and splinter cells for the past five years. We are terrfied of you coming after us. Don't let Fayed win. Put the gun down. Jack! Jack! Put the gun down you crazy bastard!"

And then Bill is on the phone: "Dammit, Jack! I need you stay alive because no one will watch the show if you off yourself now, and I need the money. Jack! Listen to me, Jack!"

And then you see Jack resolve to off himself and a shot rings out again...and you see Jack lying flat on his back from taking a shell in the flak jacket. And then the next episodes are him going increasingly less stable and more psychotic.

Or not.

I would still watch the show if Jack offed himself.

I think they should replace him with Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson, or Rob Lowe.

i'd like barney replace him...now, that would be interesting.

Yes, that would be kind of amusing. And terrifying at the same time.