As Transformers was my favourite cartoon growing up, I was hyped for the live-action movie the first time it was brought up.
What got me excited in the run-up toward the movie's release, were the bits of 'foreshadowing' if you can call it that, in the general popular media.
Frexample:
car ad
Pharrell's tune (skip ta about 1:40):
Can I Have It Like That?
Then, Transformers hit the cinema in '07, and it was instant disappointment for me. I agree with pretty much everything LexingtonDeville said about what should have been different. Toilet humour in an adaptation of your favourite action cartoon? It's not Ren&Stimpy or 2 Stupid Dogs, or Beavis & Butt-Head, now is it (don't get worried, I love 2 out of the 3 shows I just mentioned). I didn't get the feeling that this was aimed at me, an -if I may say so- shy, bashful, soft-spoken nerd who, at the time, still lived in my father's attic (or the equivalent thereof). When I finished watching the movie, my main thought was: 'This is a very LOUD movie'. That was my first thought. Not even wanting to express a positive or negative opinion of the movie based on its merits and flaws, all I could think of was, this movie was loud and in-my-face. It was as though all the characters were screaming all the time. The human characters especially were very annoying. But I can tell I'm entering rant mode right now, and I had better avoid that to get back on topic.
As for whether the 1986 movie was a better theatrical release of Transformers than the live-action Transformers we had, transformingcar... I'd have to say 'no'.
In fact, I dare say that, if they had adapted the 1986 movie, ironed out all the flaws that movie most certainly had, to make it into a coherent, enjoyable whole, set up a proper introductory scene or narration to explain the situation to 'new' viewers, hired the very best actors for the human characters, and the very best voices for the TFs, and inserted nice dramatic bits to make it enjoyable for both children and adults... it would still have blowed.
The 1986 movie, although I love it for all that it is, really doesn't know what it wants to be. It starts out with war on Earth, and as it goes along it morphs into a space opera. It jerks the season 2 cartoon world right into the season 3 world, killing many beloved original players from before the movie as it goes, randomly, without even a second thought for their concern.
Inserting the earth-based Autobot-Decepticon war, the Optimus/Megatron dynamic, Unicron, deaths of a whole generation of Autobots and Decepticons to make way for new characters, including far-out ones like Wreck-Gar and Wheelie, introducing worlds like Quintessa and Junk... into a live-action movie, would have been even more muddled and confusing than what Michael Bay did with the script he was handed. Cause that screenplay pretty much follows the traditional old Transformers introduction story that every animated Transformers series aside from the Beast shows have done: TFs land on Earth, meet humans, humans get dragged into the Autobot/Decepticon war. And we get to see 'em transform into cool cars and jets in the process. That's as good a premise for any first Transformers series to start from. Prollem is, Bay made it a sexy, violent, and most-of-all LOUD guy-movie. And the 'guys' it was intended for, ain't even me.
How would I improve on a live-action Transformers movie? I'd say, pretty much transport 'More Than Meets The Eye' (original 3 part pilot of the old cartoon) to the screenplay. Don't make it a literal scene-for-scene adaptation of MtME, but interpret it more loosely, maintaining the standards. (Autobots/Decepticons are at war, crash land on Earth, are repaired to resemble native vehicles, Deceps try to steal Earth's resources, Autobots ain't havin it, yada yada yada; hi I'm Spike, can I ride with you cool robot guys.). Also, keep true to the original Generation One designs. Updating the vehicle modes is only necessary, of course. Honestly, I've seen people comment that the Transformers would not have worked if they kept to the original G1 designs; that it wouldn't be 'realistic'. Who wants fricking realism in a movie about transforming robots? I'd rather watch live-action Transformers that resemble the Zords from Power Rangers with a bit more budget, than that they look like walking piles of Meccano.
But I think the most important part is... they should have kept Bumblebee in as Spike's (not Sam's) best little friend. And keep him a vintage Volkswagen at that, too. He'd be the robot Herbie, everybody who grew up in the 80s knows he is. Do not make him a big muscle car with creepy eyes, no mouth, and a communication system that would make Wreck-Gar go 'I don't understand a single word this robot is saying.' I can deal with much that the Bay live-action movies did wrong, and shrug it off (hell I didn't even see Fallen or Dark of the Moon, because I disliked the 1st movie so much). But don't give me that yellow thing you gave me and call it 'Bumblebee'. I know Bumblebee, he is a friend of mine. And you, sir, are no Bumblebee. Hell you're not even Goldbug.
You're not even Goldbug. >sobbing<
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clarity of thought before rashness of action
30 Jul 2011, 1:31 pm
