Diagnosis Process Is Making Me Anxious

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I am currently in the process of getting a diagnosis, but the assessment has not started yet. However, from the beginning, while talking to the psychologists, I have felt as if all the effort is just to end up with a negative result, since they tell me it doesn't seem like I have anything.

My emotional expression is almost nonexistent or sometimes atypical, which I think may be due to alexithymia. This makes me believe that the way professionals decide to treat me is affected by this, but I think that, being professionals, they should be aware of this.

By chance, I came across autism, and that’s how I found answers to everything that was missing—literally nothing was left out like with other neurodivergences. I discovered that I was not so unique, and although I used to prefer being unique, I do not regret knowing that I might not be alone since I still do not have my diagnosis.

The diagnosis process needn't make you anxious. It was actually kind of fun. Parts were even kind of funny (I was a 64-year old man doing activities, some of which were designed for 6-year olds!)

But it sounds like you might be anxious that they will not diagnosis you as not being on the Autism Spectrum. Remember it is a medical test. The important thing is to get an accurate diagnosis, whether it is Autism, or not. You don't want to start the wrong remediation process. (And the result might be that you are almost Autistic...still good conversation fodder.)

Last edited by Double Retired on 10 Aug 2025, 5:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thank you. I am also anxious waiting for the day. But is almost there.

Welcome and good luck with your diagnosis process!

Thank you.

It's normal for it to make you anxious.
I was anxious too during the diagnostic phase, especially since it lasted a year (scientific research).
They had no doubts with me.
I had several previous diagnoses.
But at the center for pervasive developmental disorders, the work was meticulous.

The first visit alone lasted over two hours.
The researcher was very cold with me.
His assessment diagnosed me with Asperger's, and then the aftermath was very difficult.
Specific tests and dialogues.
I don't know how many I wrote.

I remember the third fluorescent light flickering.

the air conditioner making a noise, which I had turned off.

I sometimes corrected the answers I gave to complex tests before they analyzed them, this in words.
The corrections were accurate.

They asked me why I hadn't given the correct answer right away.
My answer was always that it was such a stressful situation for me that it sometimes made me not immediately give the right answer.

Sometimes I would point out why the questions were imprecise.

I remember one researcher looking at the other smiling because it wasn't written as a deduction, while I would point out things they didn't know.

I was very fast on the tests,
except for the one on Theory of Mind.
I told them it was better to move on to another test.
Because I couldn't provide an answer for a very trivial NT, not for me!

Then the diagnosis.

Afterward, I thought I'd improve.

Instead, in the Asperger's assessments, I remained similar.

I understand the anxiety.

A long process... and I'm not good with long processes but since I have that goal I should hold on until the end. Thank you.

Best of luck with it all and welcome to wp

Thank you

You're 19.

It's certainly not a disadvantage for you: I'd say it's advantageous for the diagnosis.

Because there's an aftermath.

And at 19, you'll definitely have post-diagnosis advantages.

Alexithymia: same thing for me.

*Consider that we don't know how to understand emotions, but we feel them.

To this day, I still don't have the perception of hate.

And I struggle to feel the emotion of love.

I have the others.

But I need a lot of time to try to define them.

The immediate doesn't exist for me.

I also seem inexpressive.

Like cold.

In reality: I don't physically express emotions.

Mentally, yes.

If I avoid a car accident, my expression remains icy.

§

The other driver is shocked.

*For me, avoiding an accident is what matters.

I realize that in some cases, especially when it comes to facial expressions, it's best to imitate others'.

A smile after a smile, if the situation allows.

It's best to avoid imitating negative ones.

I'll tell you a funny thing: until not so many years ago, I didn't understand how the hell to respond to a stranger, like a cashier.
In small talk.

Now, with the copy-and-paste technique, I've mastered some of the dynamics, and they become normal in conversations that honestly aren't worth a cent! But they're useful socially.

Don't worry: you're doing an excellent thing for your future.

Just think about this last sentence of mine.

The rest will take as long as it takes. But you'll improve it.

Always think that you will succeed.

In whatever is possible for *you*

§
Having motivated anxiety is a sign that you're mentally healthy.

I'd never want to meet someone who doesn't have anxiety.

It would be dangerous.

I really struggle to reciprocate with smiles and other social gestures, even if people tell me to do so.

I've never felt the motivation to do it. If sometimes I want to do it when I understand the person is being nice, I feel something intense in my body that blocks me from doing so.

So I tend to stay unexpressive to avoid that unpleasant feeling.

One "rule" I try to follow is: Be nice to everyone.

Turns out that is a good plan! I've got face-blindness...for all I know the other person is someone I know!

Ciao , Double Retired.
We had a pleasant exchange at least a year ago.

I know I owe you an apology because you suggested considering MENSA, of which you are a member.

I responded inappropriately.

I wanted to apologize.
You're so enthusiastic, and sometimes I'm too tied to my own logic.
I struggle with these interactions (MENSA).
To me, it was like saying it was stressful.
But you meant it could be an excellent form of interaction as well as mental training, certainly not how one thinks of solving questions.

Perhaps that was my mistake, thinking back to my past and shying away from people who stressed me with a quality of mine that I think is just a coincidence of my existence.

Yesterday, one of our tennis players played against a Frenchman.

Atmane.
He had written about Enrico Fermi's paradox on camera. You surely remember his answer... yes, but where is everyone?

They played together yesterday.

Atmane has an IQ of 158.

I don't know what Sinner's IQ is.

I think he's also level 1 autistic.

He always does the same things: if he makes a mistake in a match like in Cincinnati, he yells at his team to immediately book a court where he can practice his serve again.

§

Yesterday was his 24th birthday.
For me, it didn't mean celebrating.

But Atmane first hugged him, then gave him a Pokemon card (he collects them).

After he lost the match, he hugged him again.

Sinner stood up to applaud him as he left the field.

He loved playing cards, was a good soccer player, scoring 20 goals a season, and was a Junior World Champion in skiing. Then, at a late age (13), he chose to go study tennis in Bordighera.
I've been following him since he was 17.
Then, from 1554, he rose to become number 1.

He has fun, he has a team of people he considers his family. Every now and then he changes a few, then forgets about them forever.

But he's a good person.
Nothing has changed him, just a few million euros, I'd say a few hundred.
Humility: He used to clean the courts after clay court matches at 13.

But it's normal to do so.
The opponent he lost, however, left.

It's nice to see people like Atmane: I hope he becomes a new number 1 soon, I like him, even if he's French (just kidding).

I wish you the best of luck.
I was uneasy about being diagnosed to, back when I scheduled the test. Back then it was still just a single four-hour-long appointment then you go back when they've got results. Apparently now they've divided it into two two-hour appointments? I'd had alot of bad experiences with psychologists and therapists so I was worried they would they would misinterpret something I said or did and give me the wrong results. I also had nearly the opposite concern as you, I was worried about having the "autistic" label applied to me because it's always been something people treated as something bad.
But it went well, I guess? The lady that did my test was apparently an autism expert, with two autistic kids of her own, apparently quite reputable. So, if you're worried then it might help to talk to the person doing your test beforehand? Ask them about how much experience they've had with autistic people, explain your concerns, clarify anything you feel needs clarification, etc.