Introverticalibrated wrote:
Disappointment is quite the abyss, staring into a cat's cradle of contradictions criss-crossing, ever-shifting & overlapping where the truth remains somewhere in-between. Like an event horizon drawing on my being. This was the first I detected and ultimately drove me into solitude -- this is why you have my deepest respects.
Although now that I am older I find myself strangely attracted to how eyes look. Though I still avert my eyes most of the time, because most people are simply repugnant on the inside. Especially dangerous people, It's like they can tell instantly. The eeriest part is, there's usually no depth to those types of eyes!
You can see them too huh. The half-breeds that are part demon, or at least I like to entertain the idea because it makes life more interesting. In this current era of reason they are called psychopaths. I believe that some of them were once aspies that couldn't muster the willpower and proper resolve to find a form of balance with the void or shadow. Their eyes have the deepest depth but what you see is the absorption of energy. And just like how black holes they emit radiation, dubbed hawking radiation. It is their illusion that draws people in. They only know pain. It is all they have ever known. Sadly there is no coming back the same once the threshold is passed because being that way has an evolutionary advantage to live day by day casting your shadow. Some find religion that allows them to escalate to more dangerous crimes to voice their pain, a result of hyperactive agency and the lack of love.
I know this because I am one of them. Fortunately, for me I was born with a great amount of willpower to do what was necessary and break the cycle, devoting myself to science. I chose to understand. Now that I can see, I understand the world needs people like me to protect my fellow aspies from the fallen. If I can create the interpreter for aspies then together we can rise, easily locate the fallen, and avoid them. I won't be able to save all of them but I'm hoping to get enough aspies that we hurdle together and can create our own reality distortion that NT's will mimic. Decreasing the global crime rate. The problem for me is time. The reason why I have an empty room in my apartment. It may be empty for an NT but that is where I can see my resolve.
Tired of typing lol. Welcome Introverticalibrated!
04 Jul 2015, 6:44 am
