Hi there

Post Reply New Topic

I'm a parent of a 14 year old boy with Aspergers. I've found this group awhile ago and read here often but have only joined today so that I can post.

I've had a particularly bad morning and am feeling very sad, worried and concerned for my son. I don't know where to turn for help anymore.

I went to the parent's forum but it seems that it is closed to new members.

This morning I attended a conference at my son's school. He is in the 8th grade, in a self-contained special ed classroom with children who have severe behavior problems.

This is my son's first and last year at this school. From 1st to 7th grade he attended a special school that was absolutely wonderful and where he thrived.

This year has been hell for him. The kids at the new school bully him constantly. They make fun of him, curse him and even trip him, shove him, punch him and threaten him constantly.

My son is very immature. He sometimes acts like a baby and even makes animal noises like a puppy or kitten. He hugs people inappropriately...like his teachers. He still wants to hold my hand when I pick him up from school.

Even in our neighborhood, all of the other boys his age make fun of him and even attack him. They throw things at him and one kid even threw him across a lawn.

It has gotten so that my son rarely leaves the house anymore.

I am so heartbroken about this and don't know how to help him. He is such a great kid and is so very intelligent that it blows me away. If people would only give him a chance and get to know him, they would discover how wonderful he is.

I'm afraid for him. I've been crying all morning. He is so anxious lately, doesn't want to go to school.

We had to attend a conference because a boy in his class threatened him and my son pushed a chair between himself and the threatening boy...a teacher who was trying to intervene got hit in the knees with the chair and wound up having to go to the hospital.

My son is devastated about this.

He is so anxious lately and seems to be becoming depressed. He doesn't even interact with the family much anymore. He stays in his room playing his Playstation almost all of the time.

He only has one friend who is three years younger and he sees him rarely. They play on the Playstation together but when his friend wants to do anything else, like play football, my son declines.

It seems that nobody knows what to do with him. The kids in his class are nowhere at his intellectual level but he has never been mainstreamed into a regular classroom because of his very immature behavior. They say that he is emotionally fragile.

Next year he will have to attend a regular High School in classes with 20+ students and frankly, I don't think he's going to survive.

It seems that he doesn't belong anywhere.

There are no resources for kids like him who are gifted academically but have emotional/behavioral problems.

He was diagnosed with ADHD as well as Aspergers and anxiety.

I am so afraid. that the little bit of self esteem he has left is plummeting and it scares me to think what may happen to him.

He has an 11 year old sister who doesn't want to be around him. He annoys her, it's true and she avoids him at all cost. She won't even leave her room in the morning to prepare for school until he is gone.

Although I wish she could be more understanding and tolerant, I can understand how she feels. He can be very annoying, especially in the morning before he's had his medication.

I am so very distraught about all of this. I love him so very much and I don't know how to help him.

If anyone here can help me, please don't hesitate to contact me.

The parents forum should be open! I will log off and try entering it. I'm sorry for the inconvience.

Where to start....

Maybe with a hug for you! It is hard. My son with a PDD is 13 and I take confort in the fact that others with older children tell me that the middle school years are often the hardest. If we can just get our children though these years with their self esteem still somewhere intact, they will make it. They will.

Do you consider the EBD room to be approprate for your son? I have an older son in a self contained EBD room and it would not be the place for my PDD'er. If you feel it is correct, something I greatly question, does he have an aide to help him?

As a matter of fact, what are his IEP goals?

I'm also greatly concerned about next year...who says he has to go to a class of 20? Maybe that would work...with supports in place like a full time aide.

Lastly, if I may ask...what meds is he on and when was his last med check? Once school is straighten out he might need a little help for a few months to get over the anxiety. But first things first...I'd love to hear about his IEP and what you'd like to see added.

BeeBee

The parent's forum seems to be working now. Please give it another try and let me know if its still no cooperating.

BeeBee

Hi Bee Bee,

Nice to meet you!

My son's IEP goals mostly deal with social problems and I feel are appropriate.

I just now got a call from his school and they are going to mainstream him into social studies and language arts classes with support from 2 teachers that he currently has.

He is petrified of entering a class of 20+ students. He has trouble focusing and staying on task in large groups but yes, He really must experience this now as there is nothing available for him in High School next year.

I am very upset that the school is just now getting around to mainstreaming him. There are only 31/2 months left in this year.

I'm so disgusted. Nobody knows what to do with him. He is academically gifted, always on the honor roll.....but so very immature emotionally and socially that he seems to fit in nowhere.

There really is no High School for kids like him anywhere near me.

He takes Concerta for his hyperactivity and Risperdal controls his angry meltdowns. He just recently had a med check. He sees a psych every couple of months.

I'm pleased with his behavior on the medication, and so is he. He takes it willingly and knows that it helps him.

Hello Marian and welcome to WrongPlanet. I am in Washington, DC which is close to Maryland.

Yes, my son has no problems with his meds either (lexapro and seaqual<--mispelled, I'm sure). Nor does my older child...he takes lexapro and adderallRX.

It does sound like some mainstreaming now is absolutely necessary. Have you discussed supports? Seating up near the teachers? Teachers notes....Special consideration for partners in group projects...figit items...does he need an aide to stay on task? (that's a double edged blade though as most kids don't like aides).

For my older son, I got weekly e-mails from the teachers letting me know if he was current on assignments. This is still an issue for him but now his homeroom teacher and he are responsible for them.

What is the school suggesting?

BeeBee

Hi Alex!
Yes, we're very close! Nice to meet you!

Bee,

He will be mainstreamed with another boy from his class. Support will be his special ed teacher in the room along with the regular teacher in both classes.

They talked with me about an aid just for him...but like you've said, that's a double edged sword and we all agree that it's worth a try without one.

He had an aid just for himself from the first grade up until the fifth...even though he went to a special school with only 5 children in his class.

Hopefully, we won't have to go that route again. He needs to become more self sufficiant.

But...we'll do whatever it takes......

I'm feeling much better now. I'm glad I'm here and hope I can coax my son to take a look at this site.

It's good to know that you all are out there for people like us who feel so lost sometimes.

Thank you

Most of us in the parents' group are just people who have been there, done that. I really like how everyone here supports each other.

Parenting is not for the weak of heart.

BeeBee

Hi! Welcome to Wrongplanet!

You said you had a bad morning. Did you have a bad morning this morning or a prior morning?

Also, I hope the conference went well.

We are a very good group of people who will help you all we can. We are very knowledgeable. All we have problems with are social skills. Several of us are available throughout the day. If you have any questions, we will provide an answer and do our very best to help you.

I hope you enjoy posting here!