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Hello everyone,
I'm new to the forum. It's been suggested to me by a few people that I might have Asperger's. I am definitely lacking when it comes to being social. I feel like everyone got an instruction booklet except for me. I don't know how to keep conversations going. When I was a kid I learned to force myself to hold eye contact with people. I still don't know what is appropriate eye contact, and would rather just not make eye contact at all. I used to ignore or avoid other kids. My motor skills were slow to develop, and I'm still clumsy and I walk funny. I've had various obsessions over the years but the one that's been with me since birth is music. I started playing the piano at 4 and taught myself the flute, as well. I write music and have gotten so involved with that that hours pass and I miss important events. I have sensitive skin so I need to be careful what I wear and what soap and detergent I use, and I have extra-sensitive hearing, I can hear things that are too quiet or far away for others to hear.

A lot of things just seem to fit. I don't know how to go about getting a doctor's opinion. I've learned to deal with these things, and appear normal enough, I guess - except to these people who are suggesting AS. I live in Canada. Is it worth it to try and get a diagnosis? I think knowing would make me feel better and feel like it's more acceptable to get help. I know of a support group near me but I couldn't just show up there without a diagnosis.

My two biggest interests are musical theatre, which I may be able to talk with you about, and Toronto Island, which is so specific that I doubt anyone else actually cares. Heh.

edit: oh, and I'm a girl.

Last edited by Dots on 23 Apr 2010, 2:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Welcome, Dots

Hidee-Ho, Neighborette! Welcome to the neighborhood.

It's unnerving because it's "language" and powerful non-verbal language, not exclusive to humans.

* Lack of eye contact is saying "I'm possibly lying" or, "I'm afraid of you, bully and kick me when I'm down." (Take your pick)

** Too much eye contact is saying, "I'm seeking a confrontation." (Alpha, Beta, Omega hierarchy in primates).



It is difficult for adults to obtain services... true enough, but not impossible. Just hope when you do, that its a competant examiner who didn't get their "expertees" from a Wikipedia article ("brushing up" overnight) before your exam, and when describing the symptoms, they discard what you say out of hand, because they only know the myths about Aspergers / Autism, i.e., "If you were Aspergers, you wouldn't care if you hurt anyone's feelings".
A LEADING MYTH: "Autistic people have no empathy."



Yes.

Welcome.

Last edited by AspieForty on 23 Apr 2010, 3:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

To WrongPlanet!! !

Welcome to WrongPlanet, and welcome to my time warp.

Welcome greetings, Dots, to the Wrong Planet neighborhood.

Thank you for the welcome.

I would like to seek a diagnosis but I'm afraid to go to a doctor about it. I'm very good at appearing normal, I've been copying other people for so long.

I know of a group near me. Would it be a bad idea to go to them and ask if they knew of a good doctor to go to? I'd like to actually join the group but without a diagnosis I don't know if that would be appropriate. Would they think less of me if I stated that I'm an adult who thinks she has Asperger's but has not sought a diagnosis and ask if it's ok to join them? I'm currently in university and my doctor is one of the doctors in campus health. She sees a lot of university students and probably not much AS. I very badly want to broach this subject with someone professional but I'm scared both of hearing that I am and that I'm not. Moreso that I'm not though, because then I'd once again have no idea what's wrong with me.

How do you get started on the route to diagnosis?

Wahoo!! ! break out the parade and not certain if you're like a lot of Aspergers folks I've heard tale of, but possibly your IQ can run circles around the typical "normal" people I know and go out of my way to avoid. I admire Aspergers people like Bill Gates (Microsoft), Gary Numan (innovator of synthetic pop music in the 1970s,... Bobby Fisher (World Champion Chess player) to name a few and had no shame that people were debating their Aspergers....



Actually, I know of a fellow in Queensland University, who's rather open and bold all over the web (-- uninhibited -- ) that his son is Aspergers and probably himself too... knew of him, long before anyone suggested my son might be Aspergers. He's not ashamed... and he's a Professor working in University. Certainly the doc at your University isn't that "intolerant" and "ignorant" about Aspergers... so I say GO FOR IT, without shame.



Getting over the fear of the stygma. There's nothing to be ashamed of. If its not Aspergers, you'll come away with possibly a similar diagnosis, and the University will be required to accomodate your educational needs. You sound to be quite able-minded and intelligent to me.

Hello Dots, welcome, enjoy your stay on the Wrong Planet!

Welcome to WP!

Thanks for the encouragement, AspieForty (and the welcomes, other people),

My mom said she'd call me tonight so I'm going to ask her for more information about what I was like as a kid. I know they put me in the gifted class and that I lacked common sense. I know I started walking late and when I did, I walked on my toes. I'll see if there was anything else different about me as a child.

I might tell her Asperger's has been suggested to me but I'm a little nervous to.

That's quite within the range of a normal Aspergers ... my daughter was placed in the academically gifted (Math) during the 4th grade, but the lack of organization stressed her out, so I withdrew her from the class. In earlier years, she needed therapy with speech and some other developmental issues. The tests performed on her showed she was well above average in some things, while well below average in other areas.
The teachers were encouraging though, that my daughter had a lot of potential.

My son too, had occupational therapy... even tubes were put in his ears during Pre-K. Last year, the principal told me my son was among the top 2% of his class (intellect wise) the principal said "he's brilliant"... but my son (Asperger) said "No more testing." He was so tired of tests... so he missed out on being placed in gifted math, which the school wanted so much for him, and I wanted to.

So, you may want to ask about any developmental issues, such as having any occupational therapy in your very first years of school... along with signs of being an over-achiever. Your comment below may address that question:



Good luck on your quest...

My mom had no more insights to add but she listened to me and didn't shoot down the idea. She said she'd research it. I e-mailed her some links including one to Wrong Planet but I don't think she reads message boards. I don't need my family on board with this, but it would help.

She said I walked late because I was 3 months premature. I still think it could have been AS as well. She also said that even when other little girls came to visit I'd be off in the other room with my nose in a book.

Your Mom sounds like a bright lady.
Seriously, she's not shooting down the idea, but at the same time, not jumping to any conclusions... especially on something as complex as diagnosing Aspergers.



I mentioned in an earlier post what needs to be done. Go to your regular doctor and insist on a referral to an Autism specialist, explain why you feel you must do this, and if you must, fight for the referral. Once there, a thorough assessment will be done, including testing for alternative causes for your problems... they will not only look at Aspergers and other conditions on the Autism spectrum, but conditions outside the Autism spectrum such as depression, etc.

You will not lose. They perform a thorough screening and diagnostic medical tests. All of this, your psychological assessment should be printed up in a report, several pages in length.
In the future, it will make medical treatment much more simplified for you... then, your Mom can read for herself "whatsup" and be supportive.

Its probably difficult for her, if she doesn't know definitively what's going on.



Yeah... definately, could be. But your Mom probably won't even remember a lot of things she saw back then, until her memory is jarred... when she reads the symptoms of Aspergers, memories will probably return and (if it is Aspergers), things begin falling into place and making sense.

But do see a formal evaluator. If its not Aspergers, he/she can probably pin-point the cause of your unique problems.

I still remember the fear I felt, -- people around me scoffing at the prospect of 3/3 kids being autistic... but I brought my 2nd daughter in, wondering if what my own family was saying would be the outcome... their seeds of doubts, the accusations of "Self Diagnosis" and because of them, I had the fear that when all the effort was made, the doc would say "she's fine"... and I'd be made into a fool for questioning. That fear they put into made me want to not go through with it, but my reasoning won out, because I knew "everything's going to be fine" when I went through with the exam. WHATEVER the outcome, it would be the right one. It didn't matter what their opinions were... and the moment of truth, when I walked into the examiner's office at the end of testing. His words were 'your daughter has Aspergers in the spades'. He explained she was Autistic and having a VERY DIFFICULT time struggling and coping. In other words, far worse condition than any of the people around me... the skeptics... ever imagined. The opposite of their opinions and advise. Wow, they had a difficult time swallowing the truth too.

Because of that diagnosis, assessment, life has changed for our entire family. Once you've got the right diagnosis, and not wondering "what if" this or that... you'll know definitively, and know where to go next with your life... your loved ones too.

I say Go for it! !!