Hi- new to WP

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SusannahG
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 16 Jan 2011
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 27

19 Jan 2011, 5:56 am

Just thought I should introduce myself rather than lurking. I'm not usually big on sharing stuff but I read so much here that makes sense to me it seems only fair to give back.

I'm thirty-something and have a 7yr old boy with ADHD/ASD. He was diagnosed at 3 and since then I have gradually realised a load of stuff about our family. My first thought after DS was dx was that my hubby was definitely Aspie. We discussed it and he agreed but he also pointed out that most of it applies to me just as much.

I started reading a lot about women and ASDs and it started to make so much sense, I initally hadn't related it to myself beacuse I thought all the special interest stuff (i.e trains, engineering, computers etc...) didn't apply. I do have massive obsessions with stuff but they tend to be literature, people, pyschology and stuff like that.

Sometimes it's random stuff, a few weeks ago I became hooked on finding out everything I could about mini-pigs after I read a newspaper article, I spent about 3 days scouring the internet for every piece of info I could find. I have no idea why, it's not like I want one, I just got hooked in! I do this a lot but I know its not healthy and totally counter-productive so I do it for so long then realise that I have to drag myself back to reality for the sake of my family.

I think if hadn't had a family I would be much worse, they drive me insane but I think they keep me sane too or at least they keep me from spending too much time alone in my own head.

Reading the forums and finding out about Aspergers has made so much sense of my life. Why I felt like I never had a proper identity, why people describe me as aloof or think that I am miserable all the time (i'm not but apparently I have no expression even when I'm having a good time). I have recently found a friendship with someone who has been an aquaintence for some years and she has pointed out stuff that people think of me that I never realised, like that I have no emotions (I told her that's not true I just don't feel the need to express them outwardly). She is a very passionate, expressive person which I think is good for me albeit quite tiring.

I finally understand all my weird sensory issues (smells. touch) and childhood odditys (some have remained, some fallen by the wayside) and why I can't cope well with parties/crowds or talking to more than one or two people at a time. I'm lucky my husband is like me in a lot of ways, he was my first proper relationship (I felt drawn to him but all he did was talk about computers so it took me a while to work out if he liked me lol). I think had I had a relationship with an NT man I might have had my strange stuff pointed out a lot sooner.

I have done a few Aspie quiz's, the most recent which is linked on this site and I got 135/200 which said I was likely an Aspie, I think the tests are still geared towards men so I guess my score could change if some of the questions felt more relevant . Don't know if I would benefit from an official dx (or where to go even). I would be interested to hear experiences of other women like me who manage to hold it together to have 'normal' (from the outside) life. It's a constant effort not to become a complete introvert, I've been making a lot of effort in the past couple of years to socialise and meet people and try new things. It's been really beneficial but it never comes naturally- it always feels like work.

Anyway I could blather on for ages about me, the kids and the hubby but it would make for a humongous post. Thanks for reading and it's good to know we are not alone