I have recently (last six months or so) began wondering if I fall into the AS spectrum. While I don't feel that I am as bad off as some of the others on this forum, I still feel that I am a walking undiagnosed aspie. I unfortunately do not have the resources to begin the process of one doctor to another to see if this is in fact my problem, so I have resorted to online testing and forums such as this one. I am almost 40 now and have had issues all my life but not been able to put a finger on where the problem lies. I have always had trouble with relationships, my current wife is the exception, but as far as friendships go i really have only a couple and they are not what i would consider close. I am currently on paxil and ativan to help control my anxiety, I had to go to the doctor at that point since i was having issues functioning outside my home at all, dealing with people. I have found that the daily paxil helps control my anxiety and therefore the agitation that goes along with it, but i also feel that it slows down my thought process as I dont think nearly as fast as I did prior to taking the pills. I use the Ativan when needed, when I can feel the anxiety levels rising. I have done as much research as I possibly can and taken a few different online exams. (and please do not misunderstand that I am thinking that this is the same as a professional diagnosis, but it is all at this point I can do, and this is not to take anything away from those of you that are already diagnosed, I am not trying to jump on board of some AS train, I truly believe that this is what I am dealing with). I continually score high into the AS zone. I am what people say a highly intelligent person, but I have trouble expressing what I am thinking at times, this causes me frustration which leads to agitation/anger problems. I have never had alot of friends, while when I was younger I seem to remember playing outside more, the older I got the more I tended to lean toward taking apart televisions, stereos, etc, instead of playing. I had a time during my late teens through early twenties when I abused alcohol alot, and I believe that it made me more social but after a few years was not something I wanted to continue. I tend to focus on things intently and become frustrated when I am interrupted from completing the project. I am currently unemployed, and have always had trouble with maintaining jobs, they usually end due to personal relationshiop issues, I was let go from my most recent job because my immediate supervisor "didnt like me" and thought I "was not a good fit". I guess my reason for posting here is to get more input from people in the know about AS to see if there is anything else I can do to maintain a "normal" kind of life, and to get some sort of affirmation that I am not a loony (like anyone could really know that) regarding my symptoms and problems in dealing with this illness. I hope i am not rambling too much and you are able to understand what i mean. Thank you in advance for your replies.
22 Nov 2011, 2:18 pm
