Hi, thought I'd just post the typical "I'm new" message as expected...
My friend & I recently stumbled across information on Aspergers... We were both aware of it as existing but did not think much about it until recently... but once listening to the recent NPR broadcast about a woman discovering her husband was an Aspie, I brought up the subject with my friend.
When we actually discussed it, looked at what Aspergers is, took the tests that are available online, etc it became pretty obvious that she's a strong case for Aspergers and I have a lot of traits and am probably borderline though she thinks I'm a strong case too.
It's a bit of a shock. Not because I see anything wrong or have a problem with the possibility of either or both of us being Aspie, but because it puts our "friendship" in a whole new light. We've been friends for ten years since we met in college. I have always felt I met my soul mate. She hasn't dated anyone, and hardly spends any time with anyone but me. Everyone who knows us assumes we have been or should be married. But she will deny there's a relationship if asked. I've never pressed the issue.
When I read case studies of aspie relationships, however, one after the other, they ALL describe our relationship exactly. Often down to essential details. Not only about how we argue or disagree, but how we talk when we're having fun, how we spend our daily activities, and how we don't express our true feelings to each other very well.
But, without going into whether or not there is any hope there...... I have cried several times reading personal testimonies of aspie relationships because I can see just how special what I have is, and how easily it would be to lose it.
But... of course... I have my own issues, and I don't know how to communicate how I feel with her without .... well without making her feel like I require her to feel the same, but that I want her to explore her fears and anxieties. I don't know what's going on in her head. I thought I did, but I think now I was wrong.
And so right now I'm just in an emotional panic these last few days. I am wanting to hermit, which I do when I get too close emotionally, but right now she seems like she wants/needs me around more than usual as well. There's a kind of tension in the air, at least to me, but I think she feels it too.
So....
That's MY story and why I am here... it's the very brief version of my story but I don't think an "intro" post is the place for the unabridged version.
27 Feb 2012, 11:18 pm
