Hello World

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Hello all.

I've just recently touched down on Wrong Planet in the hope that this is the right place to find understanding.

I try to be a good NT husband to my wonderful, but sometimes very frustrating AS (diagnosed) wife. We have been married for several years now and although it hasn't always been great, I'd definately say the good times far out number the bad in my opinion.
We both have our quarks but thats what makes us individuals, most (if not all) of the friction or upset in our lives comes from communicaton issues. We go along and everything is good and we are working well togeather and communicating fine, then suddenly it is if one of us is speaking some alien language and we are both getting frustrated and upset. What makes it more frustrating is that neither of us seems to know which one is speaking the alien language.

So I've been reaching out on the internet to find people (both with and without AS) to interact with in the hopes that it will help me better understand and communicate with my beloved.

After trying "and failing horribly" to find some help on a couple of AS spouse support forums and recieving nothting useful. They ended up being almost exclusively NT spouses crying on how hard their lives are and others telling them to get divorces or to cheat on their spouses to get whatever they they think they need that they arn't getting at home. The only thing I got from those forums was depressed (and an offer for a good time if I ever visited Philidelphia, that I respectfully turned down) So, I decided to try a little different approach.

In short, my goal is to eventually find some insight or understanding with the communication issues. I'd be thrilled for even part of an AS ~ NT rosetta stone. Even it it means having to translate through a dozen other languages to get there, it would be worth the effort.

So for better or worse, here I am. I come in Peace. Please don't shoot me.

LOL it sounds like you found the aspartners site, which is just awful.

Welcome to a MUCH better site

I like the programming reference, and have you bought any books such as the Complete guide to Aspergers syndrome by Tony Attwood?

Welcome to WP!

I also got the programming reference.

Hi Resolute Hubby! Welcome to Wrong Planet! Check out the different forums and articles here. They are interesting and helpful. You are among friends here at WP.

I have not encountered the things you describe here at WP. I think you will have a better experience on this site. And you will probably get at least a little help here, too. I have gotten help here, and like the site. I hope you do, too.

Thanks for the welcome.

We have read several books and have yet to find more than just occasional bits and pieces that are useful. For some reason it seems that most books are either slanted towards someone with AS being practly helpless and needing to be treated as such, or the books are some kind of badly written instruction manual for someone with AS to emulate acting NT.
The latter of which doesen't work well at all in my experience. My wife tried (without my knowledge or consent) for almost a year to follow that type of instruction and it was possibly the worst time of all the years we have ever been togeather. She was constantly misterable over having to put on a show for me and everyone in our lives. I was constantly scared, frustrated and confused. I was afraid to talk to her about anything at all and it broke my heart to watch her try to be for lack of a better word an un-person. In the end it took many long screaming fights to get her to end her experiment that almost cost us our marrage and made us both miserable. After reading the book myself I was more than a bit confused. All I can say is that who ever wrote that book ( I can't even remember the name of the book now) either knew absolutely nothing about NT people, or they were activally trying to destroy peoples lives.

To WrongPlanet!! !

Welkome to WP

Mick