Diagnosed yesterday...

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as a little history, i'm 38 and i don't believe in self diagnosis. i believe if you think you have something, you can convince yourself to exhibit the symptoms. after reading about aspergers i wanted professionally diagnosed as soon as possible. the entire exploration started 2 months ago as a simple online search to determine why i don't communicate and interact well with my 3 year old daughter. i'm not looking for government assistance. i don't want any meds. i preferred that this not show up on my insurance. i've been very fortunate in my life and have found a niche that suits me well and pays the bills and then some.

the official diagnosis hit me a little harder than i expected. i've always been told and known i was "particular" and always been a bit obsessive. i realize that's not a firm trait of aspergers, but evidentally i have strong OCD tendencies tied to mine that led me to obsess about knowing one way or the other the moment i read about it. i think of things in black and white and not okay with NOT knowing. my honest expectations were that i would receive a negatory at my evaluation and then we would discuss my challenges with my daughter. i secretly figured ADD or something along those lines.

when the examiner gave me the diagnosis, it took a bit for me to process it. part of me expected it while another rejected the idea. my wife was with me and has been supportive through the whole process. as the diagnosis sunk in, my first thought was that my wife of 11 years didn't sign up for this and that my daughter doesn't have a choice. my wife reassured me that she's been fully aware since the beginning that i'm a bit different and that doesn't change because of a label. what it DID do was add the footnotes to my life. there's now explanations for my quirks. the diagnosis allows me to understand the causes of my challenges with my daughter and approach them from a different angle. i'm optimistic that this is the beginning of a better relationship with my family.

as stated in the title the diagnosis was just yesterday and i'm still trying to fit it neatly into a box that i can hold and make sense of. i sought out a community of others like me and google led me here. hello.

Hello. Welcome.

I am a lot younger (20) but I am going through similar stuff. I have official testing on the 17th and the psychologist is very certain I have it.
He said "I would be very surprised if you didn't get the diagnosis."

I actually feel relieved. It's been tough, but now I don't blame myself for the oddities like I used to.
The challenge is trying to get people who know nothing about it to accept that I have it.

Hi Monkeyfoot! Welcome to Wrong Planet! Check out the many interesting and helpful forums here. You are among friends here at WP!

Finding out I have Asperger's was a tremendous relief to me. Not knowing why I am different from most other people was very frustrating and stressful. Finding out has taken some of the burden of stress off of me. Granted, there is no cure, but there are treatments and coping methods that help. Finding the WP community was also a help.

Good luck with your treatment and coping methods!

Welcome MonkeyFoot. I hope your visits here are insightful & knowledgeable.

The first reaction to a diagnosis can be hard. You have to work through all the negative associations you have learned from the surrounding society about being "different", having a "disorder", and "Asperger's syndrome" - or being "autistic" or "disabled" - etc. There are a host of negative words that may be going through your head - or words that you have always looked at negatively up to now. You may have feelings of grief, and you are working through a major change in your self-concept.

That does pass after a while, and you can begin to enjoy the positives - the attention to detail, the special interests, etc ... the Aspie strengths. And you can begin to make accommodations for yourself: stop expecting yourself to behave like, and enjoy the same things as, everyone else (aka NTs). You may also learn new attitudes towards things like "disability" and "autism".

Exactly what you are going through may differ somewhat from the things I have mentioned, but the point is: you are going through a big change, and some of that is going to be hard while you adjust, but it won't last in the long term, because you will become used to your new self-understanding, and you will settle into gradually growing in self-knowledge, not just reacting to a huge sudden change.

PS: I was diagnosed in my 50s, about a year and a half ago. I had suspected I was on the spectrum for about 18 months before I got the Dx. At first I felt both grief and some depression - was I "defective", "second-rate", etc. But I have moved on from that negative reaction to positive acceptance, not by some deliberate choice, but simply as I became used to my new concept of myself.

Thank you all for the welcome.

The weird thing about the diagnosis isn't the way it made me feel about myself. I am what I am. I'm proud of my accomplishments and don't see aspergers as a disability. I completely understand that it's simply being wired differently. The big hit was what I never thought of until that moment. My wife now has to accept that she's married to someone with autism and that my quirks are deeper than I led her to believe. She had no problem with this, but there's a guilt factor I wasn't expecting.

It has now only been a day and a half and she's read more than half of the book "Be Different"...aloud while driving back from the doc. We lauged together about a lot of the stories and it gave us the opportunity to open up from each side and ask questions or provide explanations. So far, so good.

Thanks again for the welcoming.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welkome to WP

Mick

Were you diagnosed by a psychiatrist or did you have neuro-psych testing done? I want to get tested, but not sure my insurance will cover it.

i'm not sure if it was a psychiatrist or neuro. i went to University of Iowa's Behavioral Health Center. they specialize in autism there and were the only place i could find that did adult evaluations. i ended up seeing a third-year resident for the majority of my visit and then another doc came in to ask a few more questions and give the diagnosis. i didn't claim this on my insurance, so i can't help you there.