Newbie here to say Hello and to ask for urgent advice

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Hi there, my name is Detty - am 25 and from the UK.

I was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome one year ago and it answered so many issues ive had socially since I can remember. Prior to this I have spent my life between ages 18-24 trying to complete a bachelors degree in education studies, which thanks to my diagnosis and subsequent support I managed to pass with a first class honours just a few months ago..

The issue is (and you may have guessed it already) that I cannot teach. I basically found that by doing an education degree I was trying to become something I thought I ought to be and since graduating have been hit with the realisation that it is literally IMPOSSIBLE (you should have seen me at interviews... it was like hell on earth).

Furthermore until recently I had the support of a long-term boyfriend who helped me organize my life and routine and basically he left me two weeks ago. so now I am back living at home, am unemployed (my only jobs have been in food retail and I barely survived socially and emotionally..) and desperately wanting to change course completely to something whereby I may be able to work alone. I also dont want to waste my intellectual ability because i know if i dont use my brain I'll go crazy. so basically I want to convert to the sciences but will be starting from the absolute beginning and am completely terrified. (I have found some Msc Conversion courses in computer science for people without a programming background but i am afraid of failing due to organizational issues, independent living and examination pressures (my last course was completely essay-based) and also because the last time i studied mathematics was at age 15 (i missed my GCSE's due to back surgery)

so sorry for the long introduction and complaining but am very worried and did not know where else to turn as my recent singledom is also making me rapidly depressed.

-Dettyboo

First of all..Welcome! I am also new here. I have worked 5 years as a care worker, but i keept having major anxiety attacks and now <i realise that I, just like you, have too start over. Starting over is scary and also exspensive! Maybe we can suport eachother feel free to whrite me Pm.

Hey there! Yeah im sure there must be someway round it but it feels excrutiating going backwards and starting over! is there anything in particular you think you might want to do?

I have been thinking about Diet counselor. I only need to take a chemistry class and then I will have the rihgt qualifications for Diet counselor school. It will take me about 4-5 years But if i can do it i can have my own office and a decent salary.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome!

As far as "I cannot teach," do you mean in a classroom setting? If so, what are the problems you are coming up against? I find classroom teaching overwhelming, but I find teaching one-on-one, or even workshops enjoyable. If you are good one-on-one, perhaps you could tutor or be some sort of teaching assistant. Just a thought.

What happened basically was I had a very painful experience of school. when I left at 18 I discovered this alternative system called Steiner Waldorf education and fell in love with it.. I ended up doing the degree in the hope of being a waldorf teacher but found the practical placements too painful and ended up doing all my assignments on the philosophy of education, rather than doing any practical experience. Now that I have left I've tried going back into a classroom setting but even when I'm talking to children I feel so anxious, uncomfortable and nauseous that I'd rather be anywhere else. I was physically bullied for my ASD and I'm beginning to think it's made me afraid of children, teachers and all school settings - I walk into even steiner waldorf schools and feel like I'm entering a prison.

So you see why I got into the unfortunate position of following an education degree and now wish to do anything but teach..

That sounds great - and yeah it doesn't matter how long it takes so long as you get there.

I'm desperate to continue my studies to masters level - i know qualifications alone don't get you work but in my case i feel i need the edge in qualifications to compensate for the lack of social skills. Only problem is I'm limited to the humanities unless I take the terrifying dive into the sciences and something tells me my lack of early training is going to be a serious obstacle.

Shame as it seems all the *ideal* aspie jobs are centered around mathematics, science and engineering!

Welcome Detty,

your story rings a bell. I also tried to be a teacher many years ago. I set out to change teaching practice because of my own suffering in education systems. I completed a BA degree majoring in History and English. I then proceeded to a Higher Diploma in Education. After one semester we were sent on a two-week teaching practical. In my case, my fear of appearing and talking to a group of people of any size whatsoever was immense. I had a situation-induced stutter (more accurately described as a choke). Those two weeks were a living hell. They were so bad that I was called in by the Dean of the Education faculty and asked if I thought that I was suited to the teaching profession. Wat could I say? Whether I was suited or not seemed academic; I was completely non-functional. I quit. As in your circumstance, I had a serious relationship at the time but this did not survive and I took it very badly. I became very bitter about this and 'hated' women for four years thereafter. It was not hate but rather a fear of being hurt again.

At that time I was faced with a very similar situation to the one you are now in. As a European male in South Africa, I was obliged to do military service. I had dodged this by going to university but when I dropped out, I did not have any choices. So, off I went and did military service for a year (another hell that is another story). The trouble I had was that all the professions that I could build from my BA degree involved speaking to groups of people e.g law, lecturing, teaching etc. In the end I dived into industry to 'find' my niche. Oh, and by the way, I also had/have a telephone phobia; up to the age of 27-29, I could not talk on a telephone except to my parents or very close friends (which was never more than one maybe two people). I had to conquer this phobia as well if I hoped to be a functional member of society. I ended up doing an engineering diploma and a safety management degree. These days (16 years since my 'dive' into industry) , I work successfully as a Safety Manager and have a wife and three kids. I still struggle with my phobias, stims and other social relational issues every day, but I now expect these struggles rather than resent them. The struggles are like having to shave in the mornings; just part of the programme.

I have compressed my story a lot, but I just want to give you some hope and motivation. You can build a happy and successful life from where you are. I would say too, that if you go out there and gain other experiences, you will find that 5 to 10 years down the track you are very likely to find your confidence levels improved and a return to teaching could become a realistic option. You will actually be a lot more valuable as a person because of a broad range of life experiences. Additional life experiences will expand the range of subject matter you can teach. In my case, it was originally English and History, but these days, I can train people in a wide range of industry-related subject areas. I have lost nothing from those years of 'exile' in industry. I train people very happily these days; it isn't my core career, but certainly an important part of what I do.

Ugh,and I see I messed up signature. Humour me, getting stuff like that right is just another one of my OCDs. Apologies in advance ...

Welkome to WP

Mick

Lol Thanks for sharing your story - it is very similar and i can wholeheartedley relate to the panic of teaching experience. I was wholly ashamed of myself for being unable to even speak to the children!

That sounds great - and yeah it doesn't matter how long it takes so long as you get there.

I'm desperate to continue my studies to masters level - i know qualifications alone don't get you work but in my case i feel i need the edge in qualifications to compensate for the lack of social skills. Only problem is I'm limited to the humanities unless I take the terrifying dive into the sciences and something tells me my lack of early training is going to be a serious obstacle.

Shame as it seems all the *ideal* aspie jobs are centered around mathematics, science and engineering![/quote]

I feelt so confused when i got diagnosed and read about It. I feel like I have all the Aspie problems just not the being a genius at mathematics, acience and engineering part.. But i fo have an excelent memory.

I am wondering wether I may have an aptitude for programming as I have a good long term memory for pointless things (countries of the world, states and their capitals and counties of england etc...) but my short term memory and organizational skills are somewhat erratic, which despite having a keen eye for detail and working "exceptionally well" in retail has resulted in a hell of a lot of stress in the past with all my jobs.

Welcome to WP. I have no advice, but hope you will find hte right career for you.

I'm doing this http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/spe ... m-spectrum at the moment (the autism "job map") as it sounds pretty interesting