Hello there.

Post Reply New Topic

I am twenty one years old and I believe I have Asperger's. I'm in a pretty difficult situation, well at least I think I am. I've always wondered why people didn't continue a conversation with me. Why I didn't know what to say to people I've just met or why I've cringed when a stranger moves in to hug me. Why I've thrown tantrums over small and silly matters and why I have no close friends outside of my family.
Well, my mom's husband has an insurance business, and I am the receptionist girl and have been for the past two years. I don't do all that well here when it comes to having to call people or keep track of all the issues and changes that need to be made, but I do know a lot about the system and it is very easy for me to use, I have also picked up a lot about insurance and do quite well when I am alone and the phones aren't ringing, but that isn't often. I feel like I'm really screwing up here, but it's my only income and I have things I need to pay off, I am in the dog scene and attend shows and training so i need a good income. I heard about Asperger's a few months ago. I took all the online tests and quizzes and most likely have Asperger's. I want to go in for an official diagnoses. I was talking to my mother about it and she refuses to agree with me. She says that I'm fine and just looking for excuses. I am not looking for anything to excuse my behavior, but Asperger's explains my whole life. Maybe my family will begin to let me sit in my room alone from time to time instead calling me rude and forcing me to go downstairs and talk to everyone. I do introduce myself but then I want to go away. People seems to expect more than that and I don't understand it because whenever I do decide to stay in the crowd that gathers for a movie night or whatever it is we have going on in our house I inevitably find myself in a very awkward situation. I'm usually just left standing there.

I've come here to try to make sense of things from people who maybe have gone through all this for longer. Some explanation I can give my mom that will help her understand that I am not looking for an easy way out, but an easy way in, y'know? But then I start thinking again and I feel like is this an excuse? what if I never heard of AS? WHat then? Would I just continue to work here and wonder why I feel so distant from everyone, why phone conversations are always weird, would I eventually come to the conclusion that i need a different job? I'm just very confused. I hope I can get some help from you guys.

Welcome to Wrong Planet! I hope you find guidance and support here.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to WP

One has to keep there mind open about these things (to avoid jumping on diagnosis's prematurely) but what you describe does sound to me like aspects of AS. It comes in all degrees apparently, from mild to severe, and you seem to be on the milder side if it is AS. Avoiding people, phones, noise, etc are all things I have.

While sometimes things are not preferrable or in the area of your strengths, they are also sometimes unavoidable. You can't really fix these areas, so its a matter of minimalizing the stress as best as possible and grin and bear it. But in the long run look to move into something that better fits you and utilizes your strengths. You might be able to stay in Insurance for instance but move into a different position in it. Schooling with a specific degree are something to consider.

Getting others to understand and/or believe can be very tough sometimes, so your mothers reaction is nothing unusual really. If you continue to learn about your condition it may lead to learning about ways to handle family members etc. At this point then I would say educating yourself on the condition is a good first step.

Welkome to WP

Mick