Hi I'm new

Post Reply New Topic

Hi

I am a 37 year old woman and I have joined this forum as I have recently came accross the characteristics fo aspergers and feel like I may have aspergers and I'm looking for advice on what steps I should take next, I'm totally unsure what I should do, it feels to me reading many of the characteristics that the penny has finally dropped for me and I have an explenation for why I struggle so much with social interaction. I do not want to go to my doctor with some sort of self diagnosis as I also feel i may be jumping to conclusion, any advise would be greatly appreciated.

x

Welcome to WP!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

This can be a great time of discovery--you may find that some of things you take for granted are actually skills that normal people can't do.

Hello, welcome to the forum. I'm sure you will receive lots of help and advice here.

Welkome to WP

Mick

Hi I thought I should maybe write a bit about why I think I have aspergers, since I have been looking into this and have become more and more convinced that this is what has caused me to have so many social problems and anxiety throughout my life I was hoping to get a bit of advice from this forum so here goes, I wanted to start with the things my mum says about me when I was a child, her words....

No point buying her toys she'd never look the road they were on.
Always knew who she was playing with she'd turn into the person.
She never listens to a word anybody says selective hearing.
She's got a one track mind, always daydreaming.
Follow everyone around with pack of cards drive us crazy.
Bullied at school how was I to know shed never tell us anything.

I know that seems funny the way I've listed that there but it's the way mum says thing, to get into it a bit more id have to say it was all true just so much more to it than that, up until now I thought that was just me and I was obviously just a but strange, I'm finding this difficult to write as I have big phobia of writing not sure why but always felt like it was a big weakness a nd I sound like a Robot when I write no emotion in it at all just like the monotone way I talk.

All through school I was bullied picked on abused by just about everyone it felt like and it has left me with totally anxiety problems I've always seemed to give people the creeps or something and even when I think I have friends it turns out they try to distance themselves from me and I'm never sure why.

So many other traits that fit the diagnosis too but also some that don't , was never good at sports the clumsiest person you've ever met, I can drop thing that I'm just standing holding not even moving with and I trip over a lot too, but I really get sarcasm and use it a lot myself, too much in fact think it annoys people, I love a project and get really intense about it learning everything I can but these obsessions don't last years I move onto the next one very quickly.
I seem to have the ability to block out external sounds when I am focused on my new project too it's practically like a trance like state and its like flicking a sound switch when I come round again usually with someone shouting my name over and over to get my attention. This all seems very exaggerated when you write it down but hopefully someone understands what I'm talking about.

I feel like I can go on forever here so ill leave it there hopefully someone's finds the time to read this and give me some advice whether it be they think I possibly have aspergers or not.

Welcome here

Thanks for the welcome, I've been reading lots of people's posts and so much of them sound like how I feel its like I've finally found the answers to all the crap that goes on in my head I may not have an official diagnosis but definitely now believe that I have aspergers.

The first thing to mention would be that Aspergers is an ASD condition. ASD conditions and other conditions that can be linked to it like OCD for example all form part of the autistic spectrum. The spectrum is HUGE, with rarely 2 people ever the same.
I am now going through the diagnosis route (in the UK). You will have to see a GP at some point (if you live in the UK) to try and get funding to see a specialist who deals with ASD conditions. I am 18months into trying so please be patient unless you can pay for private evaluation (around £1200).

Until then, call the national autistic helpline. They are great and they found someone close by who works for them. This person has been great and really supportive.
My first impression of Aspergers was that I couldn't possibly have it. The social groups that I have attended showed me that others were far more affected by the condition than me. But remember, the spectrum is huge and many people with Aspergers are able to fit into the world. The biggest difference is how you feel on the inside and the stress of either pretending or trying to be like others. Like me a year a go, I can see that you are looking for people with Aspergers who might show the same signs and symptoms as you. I am now being diagnosed so I cannot say I have it but this is basically my world

Constant planning in my head. Everything is done in time blocks
routine, routine, routine
Books, DVD's and music form my world
Hard to be in the real world, takes up a lot of mental energy just trying
Sleepy after long conversations or sometimes just in general. I get a week that i just have to sleep (2 or 3 quick sleeps during the day)
I am better to have around 7 hours sleep and sleep during the day as my brain wakes me up after about 6-7 hours and is shutting down during the day exhausted (on a bad day)
I tap things a lot when i am near them (OCD maybe)
Anxiety cripples me. it is the thing to try and control the most for me. I cannot go into a cinema when busy, I cannot fly without booked seats, I cannot function correctly when crowds or loud noises are near
I get easily distracted when i should be paying attention
I can only concentrate on my job for shorts periods of time (need time away from desk every 1 or 2 hours)
Really sensitive to touch (relationship is difficult for me)
I cannot listen for long to other people when talking (my mind wants to shut down the converstation after a few mins)

The list goes on.........

Anxiety is the one thing that has the power and potential to break me. I have accepted that I need to listen to my body and use controls to minimise the effect. For example, if something causes me anxiety, I will then try to understand what is was that caused it, discuss this with my partner and try something different next time without trying to ruin my partners life at the same time. We plan a lot of things now and I have rest breaks on days off to reboot my brain

Good luck and start asking around for local support and finding others (including partners of people with Aspergers) to talk to. Be patient and understand that to find a perfect match for one condition is rare. It sounds like you need a nice conversation with a specialist and support from your doctor to find the right path for you. Stay positive, there are some really nice people out there (you may need to do most of the work finding them though, my doctor found no one, I basically done all of that)

In the end you will probably be the one who changes things the most by reducing the affects that make you struggle.

Listen to your body and take care of it....

Good luck

Morph

Hi Morph thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me, I am in the uk and your advise is very helpful I'm not sure at the moment if I want to go speak to a doctor or specialist yet I really started looking into all if this due to my sons behaviour was looking foir answers about that, as for myself I had just related a lot of my anxiety and social issues to just having a bad childhood and losing friendships was due to me having trust issues could still be.

I can totally relate about the tiredness your speaking about, it's always bugged me why I need so much rest and sleep I just feel exhausted all the time but I had came to the conclusion that i was just lazy, I've never had high energy levels always needing naps and if I don't get them that's when I shut off vocally I just can't have a conversation with people and my friends and family just think I can be ignorant I've never thought to explain to them that I'm drained don't think they'd understand. I have to admit when I'm focused on something that interests me i can be very ignorant anyway so they probably have a point. I also have trouble keeping up with group conversions I feel like I'm on time delay every time I catch up with one topic and want to say something it's as though the conversations always moved on so I just usually switch off, again looking rude and ignorant, thats not to say I don't talk I do but then i do all the talking and nobody can get a word in let's just say I never get it right I'm either in your face or quiet as a mouse used to think I was maybe a bit bipolar.

Thanks again it was good of you to reply and I think your right about speaking to some professional would be best but I'm not sure at the moment if I want to go down that route.

you will decide one way or another what is best for you and your son. I have an 8yr old son who seems to be very much like me (goodness)
as I said in my previous post, listen to your body and try to rest when its needed.

Take Care

Morph

Hi, I'm 17 years old, I was recently diagnosed with Aspergers, I can relate myself with some of the symptoms, like the lack of social interaction, or often finding myself talking about subjects that relate to me. I am not usually used to this kind of thing, or if anyone can actually see this, but I am glad to see that there are more people like me out there, I feel less alone and more at home here. This is my first post, so I hope that there is someone out there who can see this and if so, thanks for reading this!

I am learning.
Morph: “cannot function correctly when crowds or loud noises are near.
I get easily distracted when i should be paying attention
“I cannot listen for long to other people when talking (my mind wants to shut down the converstation after a few mins)”

Bookworm: “ I also have trouble keeping up with group conversions I feel like I'm on time delay every time I catch up with one topic and want to say something it's as though the conversations always moved on so I just usually switch off”
Thank you, both.

These are some of the things, that have made me feel so inferior. I never knew, that they might be connected with autistic tendencies. My mother had the same problem, but there was some ADHD in her.

Welcome, bookworm37
And also welcome to SolomPride