hello everyone. I'm a new member

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The last few weeks my head has been spinning with all the information. I don't know whether to mourn because I'll never be "normal" or throw a "coming out" party because I've been vindicated! I'm now finding out that everything I've dealt with my entire life is not due to a personal weakness but a neurological disorder. I desperately want and need help but don't know where to start. I'm like a deer in headlights. This was my first post. Thank you for reading it.

Ps. My self diagnosis is Asperger. My older brother confirmed it.

Yeah, that's pretty much the standard reaction. When you've got it printed out on an official document, it's even more intense.

As you learn more about the disorder, expect a period of hyper-awareness, where all the little autistic things you've done all your life will seem so outrageously obvious, you'll feel self-consciously anxious that people around you on the street can tell you're autistic just by looking at you. This is only partially true.

The real truth is, they still have no idea that you have autism, but they do think you're odd, just as people all your life have observed your autistic behaviors and thought you were odd.

Welcome!

Thank you, Willard.

Welcome, Katniss!

One thing I would add to Willard's comment is, while many of us seem to feel a bit liberated by a diagnosis (finally, somebody "gets" me!! !), it's also frustrating because lots of people may not accept that you have an ASD, or they start to treat you like you are "broken" even though you may have functioned well enough in your own quirky way

The best thing about it, for me, was it allowed me to relax a bit and not be so critical of myself when I made mistakes. I could suddenly be very objective in my understanding of my abilities or my limits.

Anyway, hope you enjoy being here!

Naturalist, thank you for writing to me!

You're right...I want to call all of my relatives and tell them I'm Aspie. I want them to empathize with my lack of interaction with them. I love my family to pieces, but as hard as I try I can't be active in family functions like everyone else. To be honest with myself, I don't attend any family functions, call, email or write any of my loved ones. I don't know why I don't. I desperately long for the love and friendship of my family, and have always thought I was excluding myself. I've always felt like the anti-social black sheep in the family. I want them to understand, but I'm still learning myself.

Katniss

I know we all have similar experiences, having lived with the same issues for ages, but it's kind of eerie that you keep coming up with exactly the same phrases I've been using for years. I don't know if I've ever actually verbalized the 'Black Sheep' reference before, or if it's just always been a description I used in my own head. You're freakin' me out.

I hope this means we can be friends?

first, I'd rather be called Slade than give my real name for the time being. second, I'm having trouble finding a Deathstroke avatar suitable for the site. Will anyone help me?

Hello Slade and welcome to WrongPlanet!

Katniss

Yeah, my head was spinning for an entire week two months ago when I realized that I fit the criterion. I was skeptical at the beginning, because I self-doubted until I read a sufficient amount to convince myself that I had Asperger's. Then I found out that Asperger's is no longer a recognized disorder by the DSM-5, so I looked up mild ASD (The new, more stupid name for Asperger's).

I'm in the process of the 100% official diagnosis, but my psychiatrist has stated that I "certainly" fulfill all of the DSM-5 the criterion of mild ASD.



If you want to be more sure (Which isn't necessarily important if you're intending to see a psychiatrist for a real diagnosis), you should consider taking as many of the online tests as possible. You can find links to them on this forum.

Also, don't throw a "coming out" party, lol. I'm sure you were being hyperbolic, but it's important that you figure out who you are and aren't willing to tell. Telling everyone, lol, without being really sure that you can actually handle everyone knowing (especially before you have paperwork for the naysayers, and there will be naysayers).

My own case has also been often described as "mild." While I'd like to think that's some kind of consolation, I'm not sure if it's anything positive either. It seems like just a way to make us feel better by saying that we're "not as bad as some other people." It's sort of like saying that a person who gets drunk every weekend but not on any other day of the week is only a "mild" alcoholic.

Heh, so according to the new version of the DSM, I'm mildly autistic. While that isn't entirely inaccurate, the ASD spectrum is a wide-ranging thing with many different disorders on it, and I think the old label of "Aspergers Syndrome" describes me perfectly, moreso than saying I have "mild autism".

Hi Katniss

I'm a new member too; just joined a few hours ago. Thought I should say hi

I understand what you mean when you say you don't really communicate with your family, regardless of the fact that you want to. I do that myself, and I didn't understand why either, until recently. It's liberating to understand the reasonings behind it all.

Hope you settle in nicely
Hart.

PS. Love your nick name; very appropriate. Big fan of Katniss Everdeen.

Katniss, Totally with you on this one. My whole family complains that I never answer my phone, or call them back, and they always want to know when I will visit. When I do talk or visit, I feel drained for days afterward. I've always wanted them to understand me, and I enjoy things about every one of them, but I would rather be able to observe them at a close distance than participate. When I participate, I always feel as if I am missing a lot more than I would if I could just observe.

At the last family function, I ended up sitting just outside the group, watching a wasp (it was a picnic). Guess who came over to interact: my young "cousin" (adopted) who has issues with PTSD and possibly autism. Turns out we both like insects! I found it really funny that we are both regarded as "antisocial", but we were just fine with each other because we could talk about a shared special interest. If other people in my family shared some of my interests, it would be easier to know what to talk about, and I might be inclined to call them more. But their interests are usually more mainstream; I can't really understand them. Probably they would say they can't understand mine

TheWizardOfCalculus, thank you for your advice. You're right when you say I should wait for my Official Certificate of Asperger's LOL. I didn't even think about the naysayers!

Rolteg and mr_bigmouth_502, I'm not sure I like the sound of "Mild Autism", either. I think it minimizes the degree my daily struggles.

Hart, thank you for the welcome, and I'd also like to welcome you too! I'm glad you figured out why I picked this nickname.

Naturalist, funny you should mention that. I usually find myself at the kid's table during social events!