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macaronifrog
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29 Oct 2013, 5:17 pm

Hello everyone,

I am a bit worried about posting on a forum, but I have been lurking here for a while so thought I'd make the plunge. In fact, to me most of the Internet seems to be just another avenue for abuse

I was diagnosed with Aspergers almost a year ago. I am 35 years old, and have been going through hell my whole life but this is now making it even worse - because I cannot change my brain. The way I see the world has caused me to start and end with crippling depression, alone and isolated, no career or prospects, no skills, hopeless and worthless, living in poverty.

I say start and end because depression has been with me my whole life, but it seems everything about me is getting worse as I get older. Last winter, just before the good old holidays, I decided I'd had enough. I could not go through with it then, but now I have the means.

But I am trying one more time, by changing tactics. Now I will try to reprogram myself, use the power of the brain against itself. What 35 years of damage has been done cannot be forgotten, and I think that life is lost already - so there is little to lose trying to build another one.

That is one hell of a hello. I know that. What I really want to hear is that it can be done, has been done. I know that not all aspies are wrecks; useless wastes of space like me. I thought I was just crippled by depression and extreme laziness and apathy.

Oh well.



AnonymousAnonymous
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29 Oct 2013, 5:21 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet!


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Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!


Asperger96
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29 Oct 2013, 5:24 pm

macaronifrog wrote:
Hello everyone,.


Hi!

macaronifrog wrote:
most of the Internet seems to be just another avenue for abuse


Things are a little better on this site. Dont worry (much)

macaronifrog wrote:
The way I see the world has caused me to start and end with crippling depression, alone and isolated, no career or prospects, no skills, hopeless and worthless, living in poverty.


Then you are just very observant.

macaronifrog wrote:
But I am trying one more time, by changing tactics. Now I will try to reprogram myself, use the power of the brain against itself. What 35 years of damage has been done cannot be forgotten, and I think that life is lost already - so there is little to lose trying to build another one.

I wish you the best of luck in repairing your problems

macaronifrog wrote:
That is one hell of a hello. I know that. What I really want to hear is that it can be done, has been done. I know that not all aspies are wrecks; useless wastes of space like me. I thought I was just crippled by depression and extreme laziness and apathy.

Oh well.


It can be done. It can be done. I might not be the one to ask how, but many people, Aspie and Un-Aspie, do it.

Again, Welcome, and Good Luck



1401b
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29 Oct 2013, 7:35 pm

OMG I love your name macaronifrog!

Hi ya and Welcome.


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macaronifrog
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Location: A few miles north of Londinium

30 Oct 2013, 3:43 am

1401b wrote:
OMG I love your name macaronifrog!

Hi ya and Welcome.


Thank you, the link below your signature is actually a very good one, and explains a lot of things. Because I class myself as a pathetic loser (which I am), but am beginning to realise my state may have other reasons than just not being as good at everything as other people.