I'm new, and I'm completely lost

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Hey all. I found this site by looking up the benefits of having aspergers, since I've been feeling down about it all, but before that, allow me to tell you all a bit about myself.

My name is Michael, and I am currently twenty-six years old. I deal with anxiety (diagnosed as a teen), depression (diagnosed as a teen), ADHD (diagnosed as a young child), aspergers (diagnosed as a baby), some sort of anger issue (undiagnosed, but I have my rare moments of very violent, blinding rage), a "slight" heart murmur (diagnosed as a baby), and sinus problems (diagnosed as a teen). Everything together somehow works in such a way that I can function okay, but I don't work well socially, unless it's through words on a screen. Writing is my biggest strength in life, only slightly ahead of physical labor and dealing with electronics, specifically computers.
I love video games, anime, reading, writing, music, and technology, and my overall interest in things are usually vast enough to cover everything, but minimum enough to not be able to talk with others about. I usually like three or four things of any one group, with some exceptions, of course.
Reality bores me, when I am not completely lost with the social norms that everyone else follows, so I really only feel truly alive when I create my own universes through the help of the written word.

That's the basic overview of me. Now, on to the completely lost part.
My life always falls apart little by little, but a lot of chaos has been going on lately, and it will still be another twenty days until there's even the slightest hope of things being good again. I'm here for answers about myself, but I'm open to friendships, random conversations, and helping others as well if the opportunities present themselves. I don't know how long I will be with this community. I might stay for years, or I might never be on after tonight. Realistically speaking, three months is usually the time span of me keeping interest in most things, but if I like it here I'll probably stay on much longer.

I want to say "god, I'm horrible at this" and delete this whole post and go to bed, but I won't. I'm bad at talking about myself and tend to ramble on and on, but that's part of who I am. I'm like the character Amanda from the book Cut. I know what I have. I'm okay with what I have. I've been trying to come to terms with it all. The only difference is that I want to be okay. I want to be normal enough for friends to invite me to stuff. To be with friends I usually ave to put in a ton of effort and time and money for even the most remote chance if to working out. My mind sabotages me too much, and I end up doing nothing, but I'm rambling on again and really, really should stop.

Okay. I'm good. I'm fine.
Like I said. My name is Michael, and I hope to be a welcomed part of this group. Here's hoping that I can finally find a place where I can belong.

hi, michael,

i share your love for writing. i come across much better on paper than in real life. if you want to know about a volunteer writing opportunity of a few hours per week for the autistic self advocacy network, PM me.

welcome to WP.

Hello

I hope that you find whatever it is that you are looking for here. I also struggle socially, and I know many others do on this site as well.

Thank you for the welcome.
Cathylynn, I appreciate the offer, but I tend to write best on my own for some reason. I want to try and do things the "normal" way and write a book, get an agent, and try to publish it through a company. If that fails I'll look through other options.
IncredibleFrog, I hope I find what I'm looking for as well. It's strange, but I tend to get along with those who are different easier than I do with others. Anyone who is an outcast in person tends to be drawn to me. It's part of what makes my life interesting.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome! I hope you find the support and advice you need here. I am sure you will : )