I’m back for a second, anyway. I first want to thank you all for putting up with me for a couple months.
As I’ve said, I clearly display many of the qualities of Asperger’s. Inability to understand some of what people mean, body language, etc.. Copying others to a much larger extent than the normal populace as a means of relying on what to do, say, etc.. My intense focus on things, and a love for familiar routines and old stuff, like my Peanuts, etc. books, and my stuffed animals. I also, as one person kindly pointed out, have some qualities that point to hypersensitivity in that I am often a little to a lot overly concerned about what people are feeling, and am extremely timid about any conflict. Although, if I were hypersensitive I think I’d be able to figure out what people’s moods were a lot better.
I’m not saying that I don’t have Asperger’s now, b/c I’m still quite possibly an Aspie. It’s a little confusing, because during vacation, I found myself saying hello to people on the beach and such, and thinking to myself, “This just isn’t Asperger’s” because of how I felt comfortable around strangers. Because, even with so many other signs, I don’t feel nervous about meeting new people or talking to them, not like many of you report, because, well, I just assume people will be nice, and shy away then if they‘re not. And, some of your posts a couple months back were making me think that if I were an Aspie, I might have trouble even accepting that people were nice. That’s why I decided to leave for a while. Because that’s so unlike me. I love smiles, happy people, and so on, and am overjoyed to be around such. I just don’t get depressed very often, and steer very clear of anything to do with bullying, hostility, etc.. I love to feel loved, I guess you could say.
Now, clearly, not all Aspies are alike, I know. In fact, as I say, I could still have it. I guess the point is, I don’t know what *else* it would be I have. Asperger’s is the closest thing I’ve found by far to explain my eccentricities.
I wonder, then. Since they say 50% of personality develops by age 3, and 75% by age 5, I wonder if there’s at least a partial answer *if* one could spot Asperger’s early enough. See, in my family there weren’t conflicts, it was like on the sitcoms you used to see (before the horrid stuff today) we always talked about things and worked them out. I was never around yelling and screaming and stuff. And, I was surrounded with stuffed animals and hugs and warmth and tenderness from the humans in my life. Concerns over what people would say or think about me came after problems in Jr. High, but have largely subsided. And, there’s the imaginary play, talking with imaginary friends and never interacting much on the playground (but playing w/kids 1-2 on one) when I was 6-8 or so. And, I function well now because I have those stuffed friends (and the Lord) with whom I talk so much at times.
So, I wonder - would an Aspie develop a more positive outlook on life if in those formative years they were never exposed to the negative? I mean, kids didn’t really take advantage of me as much as ignore me my first few years in school except for 2-3 kids, like Angela who I mentioned. IF they teased they teased about my smarts, always asking me to recite the President in order and such stuff, in grade school. Having mostly positive stuff even in grade school had to help a *lot*.
If so, then one thing to help Aspie children is to test early ( not sure how early it can be done) and then surround that child with love, tell them “I love you” every day, give hugs so often people think you live in the family in “Full House” :- ), and give them lots of stuffed animals so maybe they’ll develop friendships with them and learn to relate to others through that. And, tell the family it’s important for that child not to hear bickering or arguing, and help them learn communication techniques if needed. And, help them to learn to laugh at life - my great grandma always said the key to long life (she lived to 95 and was mentally sharp till her last few months) was a belly laugh a day; at least one.
Will it work? With some, *if* I’m an Aspie, then yes it will. Because it helped me. I have a tendency to think that the way others say is the way I have to be, but I think that’s because I was partly very naturally timid, but also because I still have this idea that people want to help me, and I’ve accepted that I don’t have all the answers.
It won’t help everyone because everyone’s different. But, it could help some to have a more positive outlook on life, like mine, and thus to feel better about life and thus be healthier. And, sure, I have times when I get a little down, but you know what I do when I’m that way? I tell myself that those who try to make me feel down are not in control; thaat I’m allowed to be successful and help others.
Or, maybe I’m not even an Aspie but just mentally challenged in some other way. (I’m laughing at myself here, the way my family always was able to laugh at themselves for their faults, ike my mom and her singing or my grandpa and his slight forgetfulness at times) Hey, maybe I’m just plain nuts with a bunch of stuffed animal friends. Seriously, it could be something else, but I’m still kind of introverted, I took a long while to tell my stuffed animals worries and such, till I learned thaat was the key to staying mentally sound, and so on.
All I know is, I’m me. And, I hope my being here helped you all. I’m likely leaving posting on the ‘Net for a while, or reading, as I have so much else going on. This is sort of like a retirement speech, perhaps. But, it’s a good idea. It was great here, and it taught me I’m not alone by being here. Maybe I’ve between NT and Aspie, maybe I’m just odd :- ) Whatever I am, you’ve all helped. And, I hope that makes you feel as it should, like you did something positive by being there. Because you did. I’m not alone in my symptoms, even if it’s *not* Asperger’s I have, and that helps me feel even more, well, acceptable.
Thanks, so long, and God Bless.
12 May 2005, 2:49 pm
