What Was It Like Growing Up Knowing That U Where Different!!

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Hey Hey,

What was it like growing up and going to school and knowing that there was something different

about you. It was hard for me bcuz I was never able to make friends bcuz other kids that were

the same age as I was thought that I was weird. that was really hard feeling like you just don't

belong at all. I can remmber that I had one Aid that work with me for the longest time and still

to this day when I see her she still ask what I have worng with me. Did any of you guys have

this problem at all. I know that anyone who did come in contact with me thought that I was going

to give what I have that was funny I have also had kids come ask me how dose it feel to be so

stupid and not have any friends at all that was probably the worst. I am gald that there is a web

site that we can go to and just talk and have fun and not worry about what other are going to say

your do.

Bree

I knew that I was different since I was 3 years old. This was because when it was time for preschool I knew i wasnt going to the same preschool as my two older sisters, I had to go to a special education preschool instead of a regular one. And oh, I knew, i knew very well. I felt stupid, inferior, 'not good enough', 'not good as them', ret*d, i felt degraded. I had a VERY low self esteem from a very young age.

hi bree

i would like to anwer your question but it seems to be a very complicated topic.. maybe if it were broken down into more specific aspects.

what i would like to know from you and anyone else is what about your parents... how did they respond to you? how did they treat you?

for me i can say that i had a lot harder time with them than any of the kids at school. i was never accepted by them not to say that they didnt try and want for me to be the type of son that they were willing to accept..

hi, Bree!

I didn't know I was different when I was little, but, boy! everyone ELSE did. I was lucky cause I could talk, talk talk, so I went to regular school. well, I went to regular school because there was no other place to go, but an institution, but I didn't go there, cause I could talk. I see pictures of me when I was little and I walked around on my tiptoes with my arms and fingers held like I was a beautiful lady with a wide long skirt on. I could also stare a hole though ya', that's what my dad said.
But inside I was just me, and I thought everyone was just like me. except I remember I though I was the only one that could hear words when they were sung in a song, so I would speak the words when a song was on talk to anyone that was there, just to be helpful.

I lived all my life thinking other people were weird, and that they were all pretty rude, actually, until when I was 56, I found out that I had Asperger's Syndrome! I was experiencing High functioning Autism, and I could not have been more surprised!

so, I really can't tell you what it was like growing up KNOWING I was different, cause I really didn't know.


Merle

Other than having my gullibility taken advantaged of, in addition to general ridicule at being "wierd," I was oblivious to how much I stood apart. I mostly became bitter, dejected, and reclusive, never making too much contact outside of my close group of friends(amazing that I had any given how I acted... although they likely did see my gullibility end, and bitterness and paranoid begin...)

I kinda found myself wrapped up in my own little sphere of influence. Reminds me of my closest friend at the time. A man named Jim Nunan. Attention span of a fruit fly, but social skills your average NT would envy. Soul of a saint, too. Him and the people who surrounded him Sought ME out. Made me feel like I belonged. Inexplicably liked the maniac that I am. It's funny... despite my difficulties, I was raised in influence above my oh so obviously NT sister. My nickname in highschool was "Goni"(Pronounced Goe-knee)(based on part of my last name) and for most of the population outside of her own rather large sphere of influence, she was forever known as "Goni's Sister."


Damnit, i'm just talking about myself now.. I'm sorry.

I was very lucky. My mother has autistic traits herself, so she knew where I was coming from. She let me stay in my rocking chair all afternoon because she liked to do that when she was a kid too. My grandparents were used to dealing with her so they didn't think I was strange, they mostly were just glad that I was intelligent and healthy. So I guess I grew up in the ideal Aspie home.

Unfortunately when I went to school, it was much less perfect. But I was mostly oblivious to what other kids at school thought of me, because my behavior was totally normal *to me*.

Teachers liked me, because I was smart and obedient. I wish they had realized that I was obedient largely because school terrified me and I had no idea what would happen if I didn't behave. In kindergarten I was so scared that when it was time for recess I'd often throw up on the playground. My teachers weren't mean or anything, but school was an unpredictable place, and that alone was enough to frighten me.

Well, I didn't until the rest of the kids, day in day out in 4th grade, saw to it that I knew without a doubt and forever after that I was different and would never be anything else in their eyes. It took years of trying to find someone who could see how interesting I was before I really understood that no one would. It wasn't so long after that, that someone did.

I always knew I was different but didn't realize just how different. I didn't understand how they say to be yourself but whenever I was and am everyone ends up thinking I'm a weirdo and/or I offend people. As and adult I'm better at playing pretend now than I was but it isn't natural for me and becomes very exhausting. And even then me weirdness usually always peaks through and gives me away.