I'm back because this topic is a big one in my life again

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Hi WP,

I was a member of this site about 7 years ago or so and when I look through my old posts I feel like I did a lot of talking-at openy. What I mean by this is I would find threads that had a topic at hand and rather than engaging in a dialog I would generally post my own comment, many times explaining my own point of view on a topic as if answering a survey and then moving on to the next topic. I've sense become better at carrying on 2 way conversations sometimes. It's interesting to see a deficit like that and be able to identify growth.

Now a days I am 35 and finally seeking out an official diagnosis. I know for myself that I have autistic traits and my therapist has confirmed that she believes I am an aspie as well but we’d both like to confirm before proceeding. This will help me plan and improve in my life while also lending more credibility behind telling others about the differences in how my brain works. (I'd like to have an answer for the "but you don't look/seem autistic" reaction that I've already gotten from sharing with a couple of people).

Today is the big day. I go to see a neuropsychologist to start the assessment process. I've been meaning to participating in this site again but have always found myself having a tough time jumping back in. Since today is a significant day I figured I'd come say hi

I hope you are all well and those that celebrate holidays are being treated well by those holidays and not having too many difficulties with them.

Hello,

Good luck with your assessment. It's a big thing and hopefully will give you some answers.

I think I do some of the talking-at posts too, I am trying to be interactive but I think it is an Aspie thing. I've noticed it from others on here too

You don't look Autistic? he he, what does Autistic look like? I've just started going to a meeting with others on the spectrum and the lads there have all had this response. The girls get 'you can't be autistic, you're a girl'.

Welcome back to Wrong Planet!

Welcome back!

I've struggled with the 'you don't seem autistic' issue too, and am coming to realize that people accept it better if I just say I struggle with certain autistic traits, but not all. (Which is true; no one with ASD has all the traits!)

It's a way of meeting them halfway, telling them something they're willing to believe, yet still being honest about it. But there are different ways to approach that issue, and you just have to find the one that works for you.

Good luck with the assessment!

hi fluffysaurus and AnonymousAnonymous thanks!

The assessment went bad... my therapist is super concerned with how it went because they might have done something wrong. I don't really understand it so I asked for her help to judge the situation. It's kinda my first time really asking for support officially but because my therapist it's kind of a safe scenario to do it.

The "you don't look autistic" and "you cant be autistic because you do X" (ex: I make eye contact with people) is actually part of what went wrong in the assessment! Oh well... I'll get there.

Anyway thanks for the replies to my returning post.

Well most people have no idea I have a problem with eye contact and I can pass as completely normal (but it's exhausting keeping up the act) so I think you're right to not just take their judgement.
If you feel comfortable with your therapist then I think you're right to ask for her advice and follow her guidance. Good luck and stick around

Easy. Ask "how are autists supposed to look?" When the bewildered individual attempts to reply by falling back on the cliche of Kanner autism, remind the individual about Asperger autism and its wide-ranging characteristics (few of which are clinically valid).

I work with many people on the spectrum, mostly at the more profound level. I know there are people with autism who can make eye contact, and good eye contact. Sounds to me like the person doing your assessment doesn't have any real day to day experience with people with autism.

My therapist is definitely an advocate and is biased towards a positive diagnosis based on our previous conversations. My plan as far as help to get from her after diagnosis is to dig into how to fine-tune my life at a high level so that I can be even more effective.



This is a great reply. I will give it a try. I've never heard someone call it "Kanner autism" as a phrase before but this makes sense and I think you've given me new labels to describe the difference so thanks for that. I like new labels



I can make great eye contact. I've been practicing for about 30 years. The difference for me though is, I have to also time it just right. My eyes don't just wonder on their own, I have to decide where I want to be looking as I talk with someone. I try to make the appropriate levels of eye contact to indicate that I am listening while not being too "intense".

I share in the suspicion that they don't have day-to-day experience. More specifically, I think they have experience with children but don't really have extensive experience with adults.