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Hi, all! I am completely new here and thought I'd say a quick hello (well, maybe not so quick ).

I guess I should probably start with a little bit about me. I am 35 years old. I chose "male" as my gender for my profile here because I was required to choose one of two options, and "male" is the option that most accurately reflects what is on my legal documents as well as the way that I live/present in the world. However, if you were to ask me (of course, no one ever actually has ), I would let you in on my little secret that on the inside, I identify as somewhere on the transgender spectrum, most likely non-binary. To make things even more interesting, I think, based on my research, that my autism is much more in line with the "female version" of autism.

I currently live in Tucson, Arizona (which is in the United States), but I have lived in multiple states over the course of my life. I am originally from Southern California, so with my most recent move, I have made it back much closer to home than ever before!

I work as a freelance delivery driver. In the past, I have been a substitute teacher and have also worked in a bank. I guess I'm one of those people who is still searching for what I want to be when I grow up.

Yes, I do have autism, though I am (mostly) self-diagnosed. I did once get what was called a "preliminary" diagnosis from a mental health professional who reviewed an extensive list of symptoms and history that I typed up especially for that purpose. However, I have never undergone any testing, which that professional told me would be required for a "confirmatory" diagnosis.

Due to a lack of financial resources, I doubt very much I will ever get an "official" diagnosis. But you know what? For me, it's not really necessary. I have done extensive research on autism over a number of years, and I know that it fits me just perfectly!

I won't bore you with all of the nitty-gritty details of what was on that list that I typed up, but just to give a little bit of an overview, some of the things that make me virtually certain I have autism include:

- My lifelong intense, textbook-like stimming (though I'm definitely on the higher-functioning end of the spectrum, my stimming seems to be very much like what I've seen from folks with autism who are on the much less-high-functioning end).
- My extreme social awkwardness, including the lifelong feeling that there is a "social situations rulebook" that everyone but me has read and lifelong difficulty with making friends and forming relationships.
- My absolute love of routine in all areas of life and my tendency to "freak out" when the routine is changed.
- My tendency to develop "special interests" that are, at least for a period of time, all-absorbing and consuming.
- My sensory issues.
- My lack of eye contact with people, especially with strangers or when I am under stress. This lack of eye contact was noticed and commented on when I was growing up.
- My lifelong feeling that I am "different" and just can't relate very well to most people.

Believe me, the actual list was multiple pages longer than what you just read here.

I can't remember exactly when I first realized that I have autism, but I'm pretty sure it was sometime in my early 20s. I remember it being a feeling of relief that I finally had an explanation for being the way that I am. It was actually a friend of my partner at the time who first suggested to me that I could have autism (though back then, it was known as Asperger's ) So to that friend, I am very thankful!

Well, I guess that's about it for now. Thanks so much for reading! I am looking forward to getting to know the folks here and to sharing wisdom and experience. This really seems like a wonderful place.

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to WP!

Welcome to Wrong Planet. I am glad you are here.

Happy Landings on this here Wrong Planet . ................. welcome to the planet .

Thanks so much for the welcomes!

Welcome to Wrong Planet . I'm find it interesting you never got diagnosed. How did you do in school? I realize your age is on the borderline of the increase in diagnosis, but you describe pretty obvious signs. I am not surprised that you have very autistic looking stims. I have read about others un-diagnosed who do that.

Thanks, CarlM!

I'm not sure exactly why I wasn't diagnosed as a child, but I think it probably boils down to some combination of these reasons:

1. I started school in 1990, and most of my elementary years were before Asperger's "existed" (at least according to the DSM).

2. I think that my autism is more like "female autism," and I've heard that it's pretty common for girls on the spectrum to slip through the cracks when it comes to getting a diagnosis as a child.

3. My family was not by any means well-to-do and was not well-educated. So my healthcare was limited to public options, which from my experience are not the greatest quality, and my family knew very little, if anything, about autism, especially high-functioning autism. They shamed me a great deal about my stimming even before I started school, and I learned at an early age that it was not acceptable to do around other people. Today, I pretty much never stim in public unless I am super overwhelmed emotionally, usually by negative emotions.

As far as school goes, I didn't have any problems academically speaking. I was considered gifted and was sent to higher grades for some subjects. I also did not have any problems behaviorally (and in fact, I remember being highly complimented on my behavior and getting citizenship awards).

Socially is another story. I had a lot of problems with socializing and didn't have very many friends in school. I spent a lot of time playing alone. If I did socialize with someone, it was usually adult-initiated. I always felt like an outcast and didn't really understand how to make friends or how to go talk to people. Group-based social activities were always the worst... I dreaded those so much!

I did see some counselors when I was in school, but I also had the misfortune of having an unpleasant childhood, and the visits were for that reason. I think they were pretty focused on that and saw any issues that I had as stemming from my family problems.

Hi and a very warm welcome to you . I agree with you on the fact that it can be that a person’s childhood can be thought to explain their behaviours, outcomes etc ... when upon a closer look, the signs of autism were there all along, but were overlooked. Good to have you with us.

Hi, I'm new here as well, and I have a diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome. I can relate to some of those points. Growing up, I had trouble with conversations, so I would say a bunch of random words that I hope would make sense. I'm glad you have so many achievements throughout your life.

hello filmguy101....welcome to you too.

Hello and welcome.