New here, heya.

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I got here from a link on another forum (Bet that's a fairly common story :p )

Anyway, I've come here to learn more about Asperger Syndrome, as after reading the resources I have so far, and taking an autism test, signs point to it being an accurate of how I feel. (I'm 18 and male, by the way.)

My father refuses to believe he's autistic (He scored a 42 out of 50 on the same test I did to prove to me it didn't matter o_O), but he has all of the social graces of a sea cow, and he LOVES history. His room is LINED with books on 6 bookshelves that he's bought about various historical events, and he's a veritable encyclopedia on the events he's interested in.

Anyway, whether he is or isn't of THAT much importance to me.

As for me, I'm an oddity among my few friends.
I have a superb memory for alphanumeric data strings. Purely on a whim, I know pi to 50 decimal places, and a 28 bit case-sensitive encryption key.
The oddest part I can't get some people to understand is that they're not just plain data to me.
Raw data speaks, or more accurately, sings to me. When I'm memorizing data strings, it's like hearing a tune.
And while on the note of music, I have a very good memory for that as well. Not just the base melody either. Had I the training, I could very well likely reproduce many songs accurately.
I see patterns in carpeting, wall paint texture, and other things that most people I know can't imagine at all, in addition to non-visual things like numbers.
I don't, however, like history or dates much. The entire subject of history is boring and non-sensical to me. It just doesn't feel like any of the information applies to myself.

Social nuances are often lost to me, and I find myself being unintentionally obnoxious (Not downright rude though), or lost in a conversation, relegated to just listening because I can't seem to find a place to interject. Or, when I do say something, it halts the conversation. I can NOT maintain eye contact with people, and lectures from my parents would be FILLED with, "Look me in the eyes" again and again as I'd end up averting my gaze again and again.
However, online, it's like a spout opens up, and I can say whatever I want to say far more easily. The words come to me easily, , and I'm suddenly witty and amiable, and people that have only met me online say I'm sensitive, and also a talented speaker and listener.
Social chit-chat and speaking personally (in person, instead of online) didn't use to, but now causes me anxiety, though that might be because I know I'll screw it up. Performing on stage or in front of a large group is nigh-impossible for me as well.

I've been akward and clumsy for quite some time now, and although my parents said it was just a phase of puberty, I'm not so sure. I've stopped growing much for a while now at 6'1", so if my body needed time to adjust, it's had a while. I still drop things, bump into or graze walls, and stub my toes fairly often, although not so often as to be a real problem.

I'm very obsessive about my interests, and although they may change with time, the intensity of my drive doesn't.

Not sure what else to say about myself to establish whether I'm an Aspergian or not, but it's not a major issue to me. There're people out there experiencing the same kind of things that I am, and it's an amazing feeling to actually get to meet and talk with them. It's one thing to think somewhere out there, there's someone like you. It's an entirely different feeling when you actually FIND them.

I also won't discount the possibility of just being a late social bloomer, and yadda yadda. I do, however, have to say I doubt it.
Socializing with people is becoming HARDER for me as I get older, instead of the reverse.

Which brings me to a problem I'm having-
I badly need therapy to help me cope with socializing with other people. However, my father disagrees. He believes I'm perfectly normal and just need to get out there and talk with people. Well, I've been in school, and I've been put into situations where I had to talk to people; It isn't getting any easier for me.
He's no trained professional, and he seems to think everyone should feel the way HE feels.

The problem is that I may be 18, but my social ineptitude (when in person) drives me away from things that require social interaction, like a job, and I'm highly dependent on my father for things.
I can't afford to go see a therapist, nor do I have a car to drive there on my own. (Speaking of which, I have a license, but I am NOT a confident driver. I have problems interpreting other people's actions out on the road.)

I have a personal need to talk to a professional, with a title and degree (No matter how silly requiring them to have a piece of paper may be), someone who can give me a little more guidance and support. I'm assuming I'd end up in at least group therapy to work on social skills.

However, my father begs to differ. He says it's a waste of time and money, and that if I just do things his way, I'll be fine. I doubt it.

For now, I plan on joining this community, making myself comfortable, and learning some more about myself, and Asperger's (Even if it's not applicable to me, it's still nice to learn about.). I've gone years without psychiatric counseling, and I can go a few weeks or months more, I'm sure.

Good to meet you all,
-Brian

Edit;
And only now did I realize the possible faux pax of the usage of the term mercury in the reference of autism.

Last edited by MercuryAvatar on 18 Sep 2005, 3:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

Welcome

Are you in high school or college? Both often have free or very low cost counselling services, and you wouldn't need to drive to get there. Your father doesn't necessarily have to know - and depending on where you are, they may be legally obligated not to reveal any info about you to him (or even say that you're seeing a counsellor at all).

There are a few counsellors on this site, but they couldn't work with anyone in a professional capacity online. However what we do have are a lot of people who've been in the same situation and could trade advice if you're interested.

Ah, the brilliant obvious solution.
[Edit; Not sarcasm, I didn't think of it at all. I really do thank you for it]
I'm fairly certain they do, except I'm on a brief hiatus from school. >_<
Every last one of the classes I wanted to take was full, and I'm not really in a position to take excess ones for no reason, due to financial concerns

I'll definitely keep it in mind though, thank you. ^^

Edit
If the forum is always this helpful and supportive, then I have a feeling I'll love it here.

It's very supportive here, welcome to WP.

Thanks for clarifying - I wasn't sure, till you said that, whether I might have offended you somehow. Anyway, the college counselling route worked out perfectly for me - I did about a year of individual therapy, a couple months in a social skills group, and got an informal diagnosis, without ever needing to get my parents involved.

What's your major? I just finished a bachelor's in computer art. I know what you mean about patterns - one of my favorite classes was Renderman shader programming - it was all about translating the minute details of real-world patterns into mathematical formulae. Figuring out how to generate the colors and textures of tree bark using procedural scripts, combining sine waves to get a realistic water surface, etc.

Welcome from a just recently-returning member. I hope you enjoy it here, and you have a lot of fun posting.