LOOKING FOR HELP

Post Reply New Topic

I'm a mother of three, two sons, 18 and 14 and daughter 12. My boys and my husband have aspergers. My husband has been diagnosed but my boys have not, although, they have been diagnosed with ADHD and OCD. I'm desperate for help. Currently I'm trying to figure out a way to tell my 18 year old (has OCD) to look into aspergers and to tell him that I suspect he has it. He has not been reseptive lately to advice and has even refused to take his Prozac even though it is clear it makes him feel better. I'm desperate for help.

To WrongPlanet!! !

I would recommend the parent's forum on this site for you, and your kids are old enough to
join WP and learn that Autism/Asperger's is nothing to be ashamed of.

The receptive thing is that he is feeling a change and it takes most of his focus and energy. Just tell him straight out, as aspies we are honest people I think you should return the favor, he will feel better knowing what is going on then you popping up at age 23 announcing he's a aspie.

Honesty goes a long way, honesty is truth, truth is fact, aspie like fact.

Maybe letting the Dad handle it would work better. I'm using my imagination and picturing a Dad who normally hangs back and a Mom who hovers and fusses. If the Dad steps out of character and suggests that he look into it, that might make a different kind of impression. (Did Mom put you up to this? Yes, but this time I agree.)

Another thought: Could we create a kind of buddy system?
(Sorry to hijack your thread like this.)

If we could name some special interest or issue or situation for Vrose's son, Maybe we could match it with a couple of WP regulars. Send out an APB, we're looking for an 18-year-old, male, engineering major who lives for WarCraft... If I think of someone who kinda fits, I could send a PM to that person with a link to this thread. Then our guy could join the WOW guild or something...

I know this thought is half-baked. Is it worth developing?

teenagers ey who'd have em

Hello, and welcome to the Wrong Planet community, Vrose. Wishing you and your family all the very best of WP.

yes, that's what I'm talking! good approach.
So he can relate to his father.
I was the same at that age and World of Warcraft had just come out, I exchanged my remaining RL (real life) focus to play it constantly, but we should know better. I gave the game 2 years of my life because of that I felt so at "home".

Sure it's a great pleasure to play and everyone is always nice on line. I played in a very active group on a Role Playing server called Earthenring, they went far and we were always the first ones to kill something BIG. But don't spend every waking hour stuck in front of it, I did and I do regret it... I only liked it because of the cool visual expression (I like drawing and illustrating) and the nice people.

But I had a very good friend who moved to Budapest, so we moved and now we live together. I study Art and love concept art (because of the details and structure) so I naturally fell head over heel for WoW and the expansions.

Sure it's hard but if you introduce change to your mind you will change.
I now have a girlfriend (this thought would seem as a cruel joke to my mind back then) and except the occasional aspie stuff I know I am happy.


Just relax, no need to feel bothered by anything.

I used to laugh from nervousness as a kid but after some fights with random drunk people I learned we don't break that easily.
I do like some people but most of them are more lost than we are.


It's all about self control, inside and out.

>__^

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR RESPONSES............

My son is on WOW every chance he gets, has been on WOW for many years. Perhaps finding someone of his age on WOW would be a great way to go.

Do you think showing him my communication with Wrong Planet would be helpful to him? He is very sensitive and I worry about how much I should do for him...

THANKS AGAIN.

Um... no, not really.
And if he's smart, he won't tell you his user name. Think of your parents and how honest you wanted to be with them at that age, or even now. I don't even tell people how much I hang out here, or my name. It's helpful because it's anonymous.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

Hi, Vrose and welcome to WP!

I don't think WOW is your best bet to help your son in any case. Computer games, and especially these new pay-to-play computer games are tailored to keep their victims bound to the game. I don't think it's a healthy trend, and I don't think we have any options to change the development of these kinds of money-traps but boycotting them. But on the other hand, telling/forcing him to stop playing will turn him against you. It's just that he won't get any social experience through a bunch of toons hacking at each other with swords and spells. No matter if the other players are other humans or not. Maybe you can try and find him a real girlfriend and be smart about it? Invite some friend or neighbour with a daughter at his age over to a casual friendly dinner. He'll stop playing for this specific occasion, I'm sure.

EDIT: I just had to say I'm talking out of personal experience here... I've been your son once...

I once apologized to my adult AS son for being so intrusive in his life. He said it was ok because he only followed my advice if it was something he was going to do anyway.