There should be an "Apologies and Clarifications"

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I think there should be an "Apologies and Clarifications" sticky. Right up at the top of the General forum, or maybe the Haven. Someplace where people can go to say that they're frustrated that things are coming out wrong, that they wish they knew how to not come off as offensive, and talk about what happens in their own mind when they accidentally end up being offensive. There should be like a specific way to do it. Like:

What I said:
What I meant:
Why I said it the way I said it:

And then instead of being like a thread, as we adjusted thoughts, could just edit the post itself.. and add in quotes from replies that clarified the meaning, too.

And a spot to ask why other people thought it meant something other than what it was intended to mean.
Kinda like Spokane_Girl's (is it okay that I use your name? IS it talking about someone to mention a thread that they started? ) thread about the thank-you note that turned out wrong, but without all the hullabaloo that followed. Like specifically for clearing up misunderstandings.

Everyone here has SOOO many issues with being misunderstood and/or feeling misunderstood, and very often not understanding exactly why. I think there should be a place to post for the dedicated purpose of clearing up and understanding misunderstandings, and looking for honest feedback into why the misunderstanding occurred in the first place. Maybe we could eventually put more rules to it, like specifics on how to understand misunderstandings and how to work through them.. without being manipulated.
I know that's kinda what this entire site is for, but usually it's more in the format of a discussion.. I'm talking about it being more formulated, I think. Most people here do like formulas.
Does anyone else think that having a formulated place to do that might make it easier to understand and communicate? Or am I not making sense? lol

Tell me about it, that's why I chose MissConstrue for my username.

I think almost everyone here has that issue, though. For me, it tends to get even more tangled when I try to explain it. And then sometimes an apology ends up getting turned around on you, so you apologize for a misunderstanding and suddenly you've like admitted that you did something wrong besides just not understand something. There's a lot of word-twisting going on around here that I'm really not liking. I don't think the twisting is an aspie thing, though.. Most aspies seem perfectly willing to admit that they could have misinterpreted something. Then there are others who seem like they purposely twist things and then start making accusations.
Wouldn't a designated like form-style thread maybe help? Like where you can go to say "I meant to say this but someone thinks I said this" and get feedback about it.. or "I thought somebody said this but now they're saying they didn't mean that, does it make any sense?" Cause I also find that I'll end up being manipulated that way. Someone will say something nasty, and then say that they didn't mean it that way, and then I'll feel guilty that I interpreted it to mean what it actually did mean, but they won't admit.

Most aspies seem to wish for formulaic ways of doing and saying things.. I think we should come up with a formula for dealing with things we misunderstand. Wouldn't it make it easier to understand? I would think.. or maybe I'm just crazy.. or maybe I'm crazy and right.

EXCELLENT....almost

I can justify my "clarification" into an argumentative provocation. Not that I would ever be smart allec or stubborn, obstinate, hard-headed, contrary or easily obsessive or anything like that, I'm just saying.

Although an "apologies" Sticky would be a useful convenience so that I would not have to start a thread to state such things, and easier to moderate.

Not a bad idea for general apologies such as...sorry I have been grouchy lately, but If I felt the need to give a specific apology I would want to do it in the thread where the misunderstanding happened or in a pm. Otherwise, I might worry it was missed since it was posted in another location.

That's why there should be a formula to it.. Something standard and specific to make it easier.


When you click the little folded down page just to the left of the date and time that something was posted it takes you to the URL of that specific post in a thread, so you can use a link directly to that post.

This is an excellent idea.

If there's such a thread, I suggest add the word "discussion" to the subject heading so that it's clear that it's a thread talking about apologies and clarifications, rather than someone posting apologies and clarfications to/about something to the community here.