Creepy for an adult man to post in the Teen or Kids forums?
I've wondered something. Is it weird or creepy for an adult man to post in the Adolescent or Kids' forums? I lurked those forums occasionally, but never posted there, for that very reason. Why? I'm 36, and male to boot.
Many a time, I've stumbled upon a thread like "My parents don't love me!" or "How can I get a girl to like me?" in those forums. And I generally had a answer for it, thanks to my own tactics and life experiences. But I was always hesitant to actually respond to a minor, to avoid being being labeled as creepy, or worse, a ____ (let's leave it unsaid).
So for example, a 10-year-old boy posted "my parents don't love me". I'd want to explain the difference between the transactional, fleeting approval for straight A's and compliant behavior, which many kids mistake for love, and the profound, unconditional respect parents feel for their child as a person. In the Parents' forum, I floated a discussion that parents respect bad kids more. (Since that forum is mainly adults, I have no moral or legal qualms about posting there.) So I'd probably explain to that child how to get respect without violating his/her own moral principles. (Side note: there was a "Rugrats" episode, where Angelica was teaching Tommy how to be bad, until his conscience got the best of him.)
Or for example, a 15-year-old boy posted "how to get a girl to like him". In that case, I'd warn about the dangers of acting in approval-seeking, supplicating ways, which are the fastest, easiest ways to destroy a girl's attraction. This being WP, I'd stay away from overt references of banned material, while touching on its acceptable concepts, like self-improvement. (I used to do the former before the rule was enacted.) I'd also explain the difference between wanting a girlfriend as a concept (meaning not caring who the girlfriend is) and liking a specific girl. I'd also teach comebacks to most therapy shticks, like the shrink cooing at you when you share something sad or troubling, or stupid questions like "how did that make you feel?"
So... Is it weird or creepy for an adult man to post in the Adolescent or Kids' forums?
Last edited by Aspie1 on 05 Apr 2020, 9:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
It's weird and creepy for adult trolls to post as teens in the teens' fora. I've seen quite a few instances where it seems that the poster is likely an adult trying to troll for conversation with teens to get their rocks off.
If it's a legitimate teen asking legitimate questions, it's OK to send brief responses directing them to the help they need. Keep it simple and do not build up a relationship via PM or other personal communication because that can be misconstrued. Then it would definitely be creepy.
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Oh good god, no! I'd NEVER communicate with a minor over PM, not even a single sentence. Not initiate, not reply.
I was referring to public G-rated posts on the thread he or she started. I wouldn't even start my own thread in those forums. I'm well-aware of the possible ramifications. I was just wondering what to do if I stumbled on an issue I recognized in myself. But unless I'm super-sure it's OK to do otherwise, I'd wish the person well in my mind, and click on the "X" at the top of the browser tab.
When I reply to threads, I often don't even notice what section they are in so I may accidently reply in a section intended for teenagers, but I have to say that I rarely reply to something of a deep sexual nature.
I sometimes though don't notice peoples ages as I treat everyone the same.
When I was a child I would hate adults trying to treat me as if I was thick. They put on funny high pitched voices and things like that. I would, even at a very young age, think they were creepy!
I have to laugh. Someone I know of who is often in touch to my brother... He was always swearing. My brother has children and realizing he was talking to children, he started speaking slowly and clearly but he was including every F word... Brother kids looked at their Dad in puzzlement. I can't blame them!
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I experienced the same thing as a child. Many adults talked down to me, like I was a cute puppy in a cage, rather than a person. Even my own therapist did that. I found that far creepier than anything I thought of posting in those forums. The creepiest thing the adults did was laugh at me when I said something intelligent. For example, I'd say that Neptune had 1500-mph winds, and they'd break into a tittering, derisive laughter. Now, THAT was creepy as hell. God help me if I were a child today, and said something about Dr. Fauci being in bed with the Democrats! Those adults probably pass out from not being able to laughing.
I'd be far more intrigued if I were a child posting on WP, and someone told me: "You've been misled, young man. You won't get your parents' respect by being obedient and getting straight A's. That's not how this works. If you want them to respect you, you gotta do X, Y, and Z, and sometimes W if necessary." Or if posting as a teenager, complaining about my therapist cooing at me, "She's testing you see how you react. You gotta fight back by saying she's cruel, and doesn't belong in her job. Telling her how cooing makes you feel belittled only gives her more ammo against you."
To be honest, I've replied to people in all-ages forums, like Love and Dating, without looking at their age; I later found out they were high school age. In other words, a minor. But I'm sure those interactions were legit: the topics were PG-rated at most (like getting a girl to kiss you), and the advice I gave was directed at all posters, not just that person.
I don't visit,read or post in the Woman's forum,Teen forum,kid's crater but I will occasionally read and post in LGBTQ forum if I really have something relevant to contribute.I also rarely if at all ever read or post in the Haven or Love and dating,I just don't need the drama.
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I wouldn't post in a kid's section. One reason is that kids/teens should have an area where they can communicate with peers without adults jumping in to participate in the adolescent communication.
I would hope that any kid/teen who wanted the advice of adults would post in the regular sections which would then prompt adults to respond and offer advice.
I feel that it is creepy for adults to participate in a kid's section of a forum in the same way that it's creepy for adults to play with children that are not their own on a playground.
And I see I'm not the only one that's been convinced in the past there there have been new members who pose as children, post in the kid's section and repeatedly bump their posts asking for friends. I don't think it's happened for awhile, but it has and I really doubt it was legit.
This sounds right. In the 15 years I've been on this site, I never posted in the Kids' forum, and maybe once or twice in the Adolescent forum, and that was when I was younger than 25, and thus closer in age to that demographic. I also agree with the idea of adults not coming in as "intruders" in those forums.
That said, I did occasionally see parents posting there. I figure they posted to get the opposing side's perspective on their kids' problems, or to obtain gift ideas. But given how our society thinks, parents get a free pass in that situation that people without kids, and especially men, do not.
I'm not sure what kind of teen forum you are talking about. The ones I know of from the old days had an age limit of 13 to 19 to join. And parents sure as hell never posted on them. Although adults posing as kids did. One of the mods main job was to weed out and ban the fakes. But if parents are posting on whatever you are on obviously it is not age restricted. I joined WP when I was 13 and it certainly was not creepy for adults to have talked to me on this forum all these years. Although it was a bit creepy how some bullied me.
I will say this, if you are on whatever kind of forum designed for teens, and they don't know you are in your 30's, then it verges on being creepy.
I never understood adults posting in the teen and kids section here. They specifically say 'a place for just you kids' or something like that.
Question to clarify. I tap on the "View posts since last visit/View your posts" thingie so I may not notice if I see something I want to reply to is actually in a childs section. The reason for this is that I often post answers without using my reading glasses, where I see the main thread title and may not see the section it is in.
I do not intend to do this on purpose, and I don't even know if I have done it or not. I may not have done it. I don't know!
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I never understood adults posting in the teen and kids section here. They specifically say 'a place for just you kids' or something like that.
Yea,that's what was saying, I don't post in woman's either,very very very rarely in the Haven or L&D because I don't need all the drama.Sometimes will post in LGBT but not often.
I mostly stay away from forums that don't concern me personally.
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Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 39,637
Location: Long Island, New York
I don't feel comfortable posting in sections for minors so I don't do it.
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Oh boy do I feel stupid. I have never found adults posting in WP's kid sections the least bit creepy.
A bit dorky at times perhaps. But definitely not creepy.
One of the points of a teen forum is for younger teens to get advice from older teens. However the teen section here has always had sparse activity. So an adult helping out is perfectly acceptable. I remember an adult really helped me out there once when I was a wee lad.
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