How to get friend to drop it?

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I had a problem with a friend who transferred to another school (supposedly temporarily, goal is to come back) who indirectly asked me (via email) to join him & his aspie ex-girlfriend in an odd threesome... AWKWARD! I had a panic attack, going to a few friends for help & ended up telling most of my friends about it (I was totally freaked out & worried they'd set me off unintentionally if I didn't ). Now, the guy apologized & I forgave him (w/ the understanding he NEVER bring it up again), but he's been asking how many people know & how they reacted every time he messages me & his ex now... I told him everything/one is fine now but I don't know how to get this to sink in? Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

p.s. Another one of my posts in the college life blog covers the incident if your confused (b/c it kinda evolved in an odd way/strange anatomy lesson offer-threesome offer... ).

Get mad at him and tell him that if he doesn't shut up about it, you'll tell everyone.

It's bad enough that he asked you in the first place; he should at least have the decency to let the subject drop!

I already emailed one friend about it... got into the bad habit of going to the psych major dor advice a lot He just keeps saying how terrible he feels about it (he recognizes it got way out of hand now) & decided not to come visit for awhile... good, weather's bad & its too soon.

Grow up. It is not a big deal. Just say no if you do not want to.

There was no call for that. She did say no. He's the one who keeps bringing it up again. She had every right to be freaked out; if a male friend of mine asked for the same thing, I would avoid them afterwards too.

Are you telling me to grow up or saying he should grow up? If you mean me I don't know what you mean b/c I told him no... and now I've gotta deal with him constantly saying how awful he feels & getting his ex to question me about our friends. I'm going to guess you've never had anything like this happen to you before?

The mature way to deal with this type of thing is to get over it and get on with life, and obviously, your friend's not doing that. So maybe he needs a little guidance.

One way to handle the situation would be to tell him that you'll talk to him ONE more time about it - commit to having a thorough conversation that addresses everyone's current issues. Make it clear that you want to talk as honestly and openly as possible, promise that you won't talk to anyone else about it (under any circumstances where word could get back to him; for your own sake, you might want to talk to a therapist, or a family member, or a friend who doesn't know these people and is unlikely to meet them), and that this will be the last conversation on the subject.

If you do so and he brings it up again afterwards, ignore it and change the subject. If he doesn't get the message that way, take some time off from the friendship. Tell him you need your space, and wait to talk to him again until you feel ready.

These things tend to clear up naturally in time if everyone just takes a break from each other, but the long-term outlook for the friendship is best if you make a final formal attempt at some degree of resolution beforehand.

And, again, be cautious when confiding in other people. All too often, when you turn to friends for support or guidance concerning people they know, it turns into nasty gossip, which can really get out of hand and backfire on everyone.

I've been trying to avoid that. As of right now his ex claims "she'll take care of it" (tell him to stop talking about it w/ me) b/c she, like all my other friends (I have mostly upper classmen (sorry crappy at spelling) & maybe 1-3 freshman friends) want him to just STOP bringing this stuff up. As of right now, I'm taking another friends advice & not contacting him at all for awhile (I already sent him a message saying I still consider him a friend but want this to drop). I wouldn't of said anything else (except to the one friend via email) but I knew the others would be able to tell something's up (I can't hide anything/ I think my face gives it away ). When I do contact him again (or he does me) I'm just going to ignore all messages regarding what happened. Hopefully, it works out alright. (I can't even hide anything from the aspies I know!/was hoping to keep it from the ex whose an aspie but even she caught on... ).

p.s. I only say not being able to hide things from an aspie I know is a shocker to me b/c neither of us (though she's much better than I am w/ facial expression control & sarcsm) are too good at lying.

He asked.

You said no and you asked him to stop bringing it up, correct?

If he keeps bringing it up, you need to reassert that you are not interested in discussing it with him because it makes you feel uncomfortable. If he continues to insist on talking about it, his behavior is bordering on harassment. If he's aware that you're an aspie and has some awareness of what that entails, then he should understand that you are not prepared to handle some kinds of social interaction. I would advise that you seek some advice from a counselor on campus. Most schools offer some kind of counseling resource, and such an individual may be able to provide you with tangible options for dealing with this. Additionally, a counselor won't be a friend of you, or this fellow who is giving you trouble, so their advice won't be clouded by their emotional ties.

1. His ex is an aspie, so he knows what the condition entails (or at least he should by now... )
2. My friend whose a psych major told me to go to a counselor as well if he keeps bringing it up (technically, if he kept bringing up "the offer")- I will give him he was surprisingly unemotionally attached (via email) (I did not know they were once roommates ... I wouldn't of told him if I knew that but he's still very neutral (I gives him big Thank Yous ) .
3. As of right now, no contact since (I made a deal w/ myself to get through this week of classes at least 1st).

Thanks to all for letting me rant