Is It My Fault If My Roommate Gets Locked Out?

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I know that sometimes I could be paranoid and can misread some social cues, but I don't know if my roommate is right about this one. So, I was wondering what other people may think. I go to college, and I stay in the dorms. My roommate got locked out about 5 times in a week last semester, and a 6th time this last week. A couple times she was taking a shower or some other thing at a weird time in the afternoon, and then I happen to walk in to grab something for a few minutes (or for about 15 minutes even), and lock the door behind me. She says that it's all my fault, except that the last time she seemed to call herself out on it. She thinks that it's not me that has to change and that I should have to change because she forgets her keys, and doesn't want to take them out of her purse for some reason, as she thinks it's inconvenient for her. She thinks that I should have to call her everytime I go from the room to ask if my stuff is safe. The weird part about it is that even though she called herself an idiot for not taking her keys, ID card, and cellphone with her this last time, she still told our dorm Resident Director about it without even telling me. My roommate says that I'm a bit paranoid for locking the door, except I think that it's common sense to lock the door, even if you're just taking a shower. I'm protecting my own property, and respecting hers' at the same time. Now the RD wants to talk with me, but I'm not sure what to say, as I'm a bit pissed that my roommate just went behind my back without communicating her frustration to me. I don't know how to make her see eye-to-eye with me. It seems crazy, but is it just me?

Her fault for not having keys with her all the time, from my understanding of your post.

You take your keys and lock your door if you plan to be outside your room for more than a few seconds.

I know of at least one case where a guy left his door unlocked to go to the bathroom, and when he returned his desktop computer was gone.

It seems like it's her fault, at least from my take on it. I'm not sure what my RD will have to say, though. Maybe she's trying to get the other side of the story, which is always good. I too have heard of people getting stuff taken away in just a couple of seconds of leaving their room unlocked, as well as people coming into the dorms and spying for things to take. I've also heard of people pulling fire alarms on purpose just to distract people from their rooms and take as much stuff as they can. It's amazing how many people think it won't happen to them, then it does. I just don't know if or when it will happen to me, but I want to have the best defense if someone tries to take something. I'm thinking of getting a single next year, as they say that I could apply for a medical single at my university because I have Asperger's. It's basically a single that I pay the same rate as a double room (which is cheaper), which could be really nice.

I think you are correct on this one. By not locking the door, your roommate is inviting someone to come in and take what they want. You should frame your argument with the RD that way and inform the RD that if this goes too far, you will file a counter-complaint about your roommate leaving the door unlocked thereby leaving you in danger of being robbed.

I definitely think it is a good idea to always lock your door. When I lived in halls of residence, our doors locked automatically whenever they closed. Although I locked myself out several times, I would not change this system.

You are definitely in the right here, so try not to be anxious or on the defensive when you go to meet the RD; just explain that your stuff is valuable to you and that you were always brought up not to leave your door unlocked.

If she locks herself out frequently, would you be ok with keeping a spare key hidden somewhere in the kicthen or lvingroom just in case she forgets hers?

Yeah, she's the one at fault here. Its common sense to take your keys everywhere, regardless for how long. Having lived on campus before, everyone i knew took their keys with them. Even my brother did with one of those dorms with one community bathroom/shower room. She's just gonna have to get over it . . . and if she leaves the door open, hide something of hers and lock the door (cause some embarrassment and fear . . . or get one of her friends to do it since you're probably not that mean >.>).

With the RD... stand your ground and explain your side. The RD is probably reasonable, and if they aren't, they won't be RD for long.

I wish that I could get a spare key, except that it says on our original set of keys that we aren't supposed to replicate them. That would be a good idea, though.

I was almost thinking about taking something of hers' lol. Except I think that she would have been a little suspicious if I happened to return her lost item because I 'found' it somewhere. I think you're right that I can be too nice, it's just that I would feel as if I would have to return the item Then she would accuse me of stealing from her, which would not be good. Although...maybe I could just happen to leave her item somewhere where she's close, or just tuck it into her closet in a place she hasn't looked in awhile, which (if that was my goal) would cause even more embarassment lol. Maybe I could be a little mischievous for once, although sometimes I do have mischievous thoughts lol.

From the looks of your post, your roommate calls herself out on it sometimes, but puts the responsibility on you to watch and protect her property. As others have mentioned in this thread, and you stated yourself, it is common sense (not paranoia) to lock your dorm room when you leave it.

If by chance this is her first year in college, then it's probably something she hasn't learned yet. However, if she's been habitually leaving her door unlocked for years then consider her lucky and make sure she learns about responsibility. Also make sure she keeps her key in her pocket, hand, on a keychain, a necklace, or anything more convenient than deep in her purse.

Like you said, it is against the rules to replicate your key, so don't bother. The Resident Director should understand this situation and remember, you are not at fault for your roommate's mistakes!

Kinda makes me wonder how she gets by...FN Christ....I wonder how she manages to find her clothes in the morning and dress herself and not forget to put her pants on before going to class....You should pin her gloves to her coat or put a string on them like they have for little kids....also pin her keys to her coat.