Im extremely depressed - Dismissal from University

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Not yet but I might be dismissed from my university and I am not sure if I'll even be readmitted.

I really don't know what to do anymore Ive lost so much weight and my hair is turning grey. I don't drink alcohol but I just want to drown myself in alcohol. i dont know what to do anymore. I have no friends at uni and not a single prof who I befriended and I donmt know who to go to. I just want to crawl into a corner and cry and cut my wrists.

I dont know what to do anymore. My grades suddenly dropped at the end of the sem and I am not sure what to do anymore with my life. This is also embarassing because I was a A student in high school and now I might be asked to leave from my university and end up with no degree.

I hate myself so much.

Seek help!! !! I did, and it's done so much for me. Does your university have a counselor? You should schedule an appointment if it does, and elsewhere if not. There is no shame in talking to a therapist. Mental health is extremely important. It's invisible, so it's easy for other people to miss, especially if you are a person who is not that social or demonstrative. Most schools will make allowances for students with disabilities. It's extremely difficult to seek help at first, but the rewards are palpable.

I had the same problem with university. I was a great student in high school, straight A's except when I let myself slip, but I could pretty much hold it together. Then I went to university and it all fell apart. I personally have a big issue with the way university is taught. I'm not sure where you're at in your studies, but I found in my first year, I could not pay attention, and nothing could hold my interest. The classes were huge, and I found it next to impossible to make any friends or connect with any of my profs. I dropped out of a couple of programs and experienced many problems with self-abuse, substance abuse, depression and anxiety before I entered the program I'm in now, which is a hands-on program at a college. I'm doing much better in my studies now, because the class is so small and I'm actually doing something tangible that I find interesting, but I'm also seeking an official diagnosis of AS right now so that my teachers can better understand me, and accommodate me accordingly. Admitting and embracing your weaknesses is pivotal to accepting your strengths. As one grows, so will the other.

All hope is not lost, and everything is definitely not all your fault. University is currently taught in a ridiculous manner, in my opinion. I would suggest once again that you talk to your university's counselor... if that doesn't go as well as hoped, I would highly recommend college, as the entire atmosphere is more interactive and engaging, and also, that's where the money/future is nowadays.

Please PM me if you need someone to talk to.

All the best. <3

I agree with what cmoonbeam1 said, but would also like to add that perhaps you should consider a vocational college instead. They tend to be cheaper, they often have smaller, more manageable class sizes, They tend to do more hands on teaching, and the teachers tend to know more about the courses. In a regular college or university, very often the "official" professor farms out the class to one of his assistants, so instead of being taught by the official teacher, you are often taught by an amature. Also, in a vocational college there is less push to take unneeded "filler" courses (used to pad the school's bank account), as the vocational schools tend to concentrate more on teaching you the course of studies you sign up for.

If you are not interested in a vocational school, you can look into tutoring help right at the school you are at now.

Don't give up on school, just get some help for your depression and then consider all of your options.

Even if you feel supper ashamed and depressed and worthless talk with the registrars office or student affairs and your adviser now. If you do not feel like you are capable of doing this, get someone (a parent or sibling or friend) who you feel comfortable with telling that you are depressed, and be accountable to them about making the appointment. I would never have seen a counselor or psychiatrist if my mom had not said here is a counselor, here is a psychologist, call them and tell me when you have made an appointment.

I was in the same situation my first year of college. It seemed hopeless, and I was so ashamed that I did not let anyone see my struggles. I ended up leaving that university (I was not dismissed but I was put on probation) and I moved back home and went to a school closer to my parents where I could live at their house and go to school from there. I do not know if that would be feasible to live with your parents and go to school or not. I wish I had stayed as it made my academic record look strange, but I do not know if I could have (but I was not diagnosed at the time). I definably could not have stayed in the dorms, I needed more accountability and someone to help me with some daily functions.

I graduated magna cum laude. It was hard, and some semesters were better than others.

Moral of the story, get help, and do not be embarrassed by needing it or be ashamed that you have struggles, you are not alone.

Do you have any outside interests that you could be involved with that make you happy?

Talk to a counselor, I was facing dismissal too, but was told if I retook the class I failed in over summer, plus an additional class and got at least a B in both then I would be allowed to return in the fall. I got an A in both and was back in the fall.

Hi Luska,
Don't despair - There is almost always an appeals process for this sort of thing, and it's not just for show. I was in that situation as an undergrad. Took some time to write an appeal letter and I was readmitted right away. Results may vary, but I think most colleges will be happy to keep taking your tuition money. Write to them. Tell them how you've always been a good student, how you've struggled so far in college but will work hard to turn that around. Tell them how much college means to you, and how much it would mean to you to graduate. Tell them you believe you can do it. That may not be true right now, but it will be, in time.

Hi everyone thank you for your kind replies. I'll answer them in detail. Im really scared. I have a very very slim chance of evading dismissal if I pass this one removal exam. If I fail however. its all over for me and I will be kicked out of university. I'll answer your replies in detail when I have time.

No worries Luska Take your time.

There are a couple of things you should never forget and perhaps should repeat like a mantra until you believe them:
1) Your first responsibility is to yourself.
2) There is more than one university in your state, and even more in the US.
3) Every second you spend feeling bad for yourself, someone is having it worse than you could ever imagine. So stop feeling sorry for yourself and go back to 1 and 2.

cmoonbeam1 – Thank you so much for your kind words. I’ll remember them. I’ll try out your advice.
questor – Im not interested in vocational school because I really want to pursue my course if I can. But yes I’ll treat everything else. Thank you.

nebrets – Thanks I actually tried to get the help of my family and told them.
DVCal – There is actually a legal issue that Im trying to deal with so I can’t just retake certain classes due to university rules but Im getting the dean’s permission.

Scubasteve – Thanks. Appeals is a bit complicated. Of course I’ll go through it but my uni axes people quickly. I hope they’re more interested with my money.

Im sure people are but its not just university life that's depressing me. Last year I was sick for months and stoped school. I came back to school again but struggled so hard to keep up. Even in sports my performance dropped considerably and I failed, not just failed but failed so horribly I was cut in less than an hour from all of those teams which depressed me a lot.

To make things worse I was a victim of crime and my ID was stolen along with so many other things and the police have no leads and can't help.

My health has also dropped and I have been having fevers every now and then, my weight as dropped and my hair is turning grey from all my other worries and I flunked my exams so horribly despite working to the point of exhaustion.

The final kick in the balls though is that now I am now suspected of having Diabetes which unfortunately run s in my family and may have been the reason for my problems so far.

I really dont want to give up and I wont stop fighting but honestly:
I just want to sit in a corner and cry.