How can I tell whether people are laughing at me or with me?

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Can you tell whether people laugh at you or with you?
Yes - I am fairly good at it. 24%  24%  [ 4 ]
No - But I want to know how to! 47%  47%  [ 8 ]
No - But I don't give a damn! 29%  29%  [ 5 ]
Total votes : 17

deep-techno
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13 Feb 2007, 1:11 pm

This is not something but I am particularly worried about, but I am just curious. In classes, I do occasionally come up with a funny comment (I am not disruptive, but some of my slight comments are witty). Some people often laugh when I say one of these comments (either it is sensibly funny - or it is just random, without me realising it).

I have come up with comments before, and I have not been able to tell whether people are laughing with me (if they get the humour and react to it) or at me (if my comment is random, without me realising it - or if what I have said doesn't appear to be funny to me at all, probably the way I have said it).

Can someone give me any tips or advice on how to crack this 'humour code'?


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krex
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13 Feb 2007, 1:43 pm

Soory.....I cant give any tips because I have the same issue.People tend to laugh at my random comments and I think I am funny(I amuse the hell out of myself)but I dont really care.Some people maybe laughing at you because your humor goes over their heads but others may laugh with you because they share your humor.I would rather people laugh at me then actually insult me.....if I amuse them either way,they are less likely to kick my ass.


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larsenjw92286
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13 Feb 2007, 1:49 pm

I think you should learn how to so that you don't offend people. It is quite helpful.


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13 Feb 2007, 1:50 pm

No - i don't think it is something you can learn either.



larsenjw92286
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13 Feb 2007, 1:51 pm

If you have sense it is.


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13 Feb 2007, 1:52 pm

Say something you don't intend to be a joke and see if they laugh.



Kosmonaut
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13 Feb 2007, 1:53 pm

xon wrote:
Say something you don't intend to be a joke and see if they laugh.


What does this achieve?



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13 Feb 2007, 1:55 pm

larsenjw92286 wrote:
If you have sense it is.


Sometimes, when i laugh, i do not know if i am laughing at someone or with them.
Given this, then how are you going to know if i am laughing with you or at you.
I mean, do you know my motives better than i do?



larsenjw92286
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13 Feb 2007, 1:55 pm

Well, why would it make sense to beat around the bush if you should just get down to it?


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larsenjw92286
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13 Feb 2007, 1:58 pm

Exactly, I think you should admit it immediately if you have trouble.


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13 Feb 2007, 2:05 pm

Kosmonaut wrote:
xon wrote:
Say something you don't intend to be a joke and see if they laugh.


What does this achieve?


think about it



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13 Feb 2007, 2:15 pm

xon wrote:
Kosmonaut wrote:
xon wrote:
Say something you don't intend to be a joke and see if they laugh.


What does this achieve?


think about it


Okay, i have what am i missing?

There are two outcomes:
You don't get a laugh. In which case, we learn nothing.

You do get a laugh.
Not intended, so we know that they have a different sense of humour to us.
The are not laughing with us, unless we start laughing.
But are they laughing at us?



krex
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13 Feb 2007, 2:15 pm

I would much rather have people respond to me with laughter then the open mouthed shocked or confused look, I get at times.At least if they are laughing,you feel like you are a part of something and not just some freaking "otherlander".I would advise not analyzing their response and enjoy the lack of hostility or confusion that might be the alternative.People like to laugh,it feels good....if you are making them laugh,regaurdless of, with or at,they are more likely to enjoy having you around.IMO.

And if you want to find out you could always reinact the Joe Pesse monalogue from that movie(forgot the movie).......


"You laughing at me?You think I'm a funny guy?"then pull out your gun and look threatening.


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Kosmonaut
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13 Feb 2007, 2:23 pm

I agree. ( Goodfellas)
I used to think i was quite good at making people laugh. Usually unintentionally. But i rarely felt like i was being 'laughed' at.
It is good to make people laugh.

( I also seem to laugh at the 'wrong' bits in movies & wonder why everyone else starts laughing in other parts.)
Comedy is a funny thing.



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13 Feb 2007, 2:45 pm

I have a big problem with this. For most of my life, people have been laughing at me, rather than with me. So even now, when bullying is not a problem (thanks God), I still cringe and tense up when I hear people laughing, even random strangers on the street. It's slowly getting better, but I'm still trying to learn to tell the difference between these two kinds of laughing. Unfortunately, the only method I have is the one I've been using to learn other types of social interaction: by memorization.



deep-techno
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13 Feb 2007, 3:08 pm

Kosmonaut wrote:
Comedy is a funny thing.


Quite literally! :lol: :D :) :wink: :?


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