Page 2 of 2 [ 21 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Daveytn
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2013
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 37

02 Sep 2014, 10:35 am

mattschwartz01 wrote:
Daveytn wrote:
I get looked at as "nasty" in that respect just because I look unhappy, however in my head I'm usually in the clouds looking forward to soemthing later that day :)

This is one of the main problems (i feel!) of why I am not employed :\


This is not insurmountable. NT's interpret smiles as happiness. Practice it in the mirror. See if you can catch a reflection of yourself in the moment. It worked for me. I realized that I looked sullen even though I did not feel that way. My smile is cheesy so I practice smiling with my eyes by keeping a softer expression,


That's amazing actually. My girlfriend will often ask "what's wrong?" when I want to jump about in happiness, but I look more like :|. This is actually something I will take on board, thankyou!



goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

03 Sep 2014, 1:00 am

Daveytn wrote:
That's amazing actually. My girlfriend will often ask "what's wrong?" when I want to jump about in happiness, but I look more like :|. This is actually something I will take on board, thankyou!


Having an "expressionless," expression - almost porcelain doll like - is an ASD trait. I think it's more common in females, or at least I notice it more in females, anyways. I know more than one woman who have been asked "what's wrong?" many times through their lives because of this.. and they're actually just fine and puzzled why they're being asked what's wrong.

Anyways, it's good advice to try and catch yourself if you get too stone-faced and make a point of smiling here and there instead. 8)


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 39,637
Location: Long Island, New York

03 Sep 2014, 4:36 am

goldfish21 wrote:
Daveytn wrote:
That's amazing actually. My girlfriend will often ask "what's wrong?" when I want to jump about in happiness, but I look more like :|. This is actually something I will take on board, thankyou!


Having an "expressionless," expression - almost porcelain doll like - is an ASD trait. I think it's more common in females, or at least I notice it more in females, anyways. I know more than one woman who have been asked "what's wrong?" many times through their lives because of this.. and they're actually just fine and puzzled why they're being asked what's wrong.

Anyways, it's good advice to try and catch yourself if you get too stone-faced and make a point of smiling here and there instead. 8)


I often get the "whats wrong" queston when nothing is.

It is an ASD thing. The DSM 5 kind of mentions it
"Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal
communication."

I think intense concentration on a special interest is mistaken for pain or upset.


_________________
“Self Acceptance is a process not a performance”
“You are autistic enough. And you always have been”

Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity.


Evil_Chuck
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 24 Aug 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 494
Location: Lost in my thoughts.

03 Sep 2014, 8:13 am

If you ask me, there are way too many nasty people who are employed. It's like a rule; every workplace must have some of them. As far as mistaking ASD for nastiness, it's never happened to me. I find that most people mistake it for general weirdness or being "just shy."


_________________
RAADS-R SCORE: 163.0

FUNNY DEATH METAL LYRICS OF THE WEEK: 'DEMON'S WIND' BY VADER
Clammy frog descends
Demon's wind, the stars answer your desire
Join the undead, that's the place you'll never leave
You wanna die... but death cannot do us apart...


MissDorkness
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Aug 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 903
Location: Missouri

03 Sep 2014, 8:28 am

goldfish21 wrote:
Having an "expressionless," expression - almost porcelain doll like - is an ASD trait. I think it's more common in females, or at least I notice it more in females, anyways. I know more than one woman who have been asked "what's wrong?" many times through their lives because of this.. and they're actually just fine and puzzled why they're being asked what's wrong.

Anyways, it's good advice to try and catch yourself if you get too stone-faced and make a point of smiling here and there instead. 8)


You notice it more with females because of societal conditioning. Women are taught from a young age to always be approachable and welcoming and take care of peoples' feelings, etc. Hence projects like the one referenced here: http://www.indystar.com/story/life/2014 ... /11213659/

I got sooooooo sick of everyone, family, strangers, teachers, always telling me to smile or asking me what was wrong. THAT in itself is enough to ruin my good moods. :razz: I have learned over the years to devote energy to being more expressive, but, it's exhausting, I shouldn't feel like I have to, but, it's a way to avoid their vacuous comments.

My older son has tendencies as well. We've got a family event to go to this weekend and I already know I'll spend a portion of it telling at least my Mom, if not others, to lay off him, he's fine just the way he is! I'll not let him be bullied about it the way I was.