waiter/waitress rules

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100 things Restaurant staffers should never do (part1)

Finally clear rules for people working in restyaurants.

Love the thread. I was unable to be hired until my ex talked a manager into hiring me. They loved my memory and efficiency but that's where it ended . . .

Never tell people that certain dishes aren't good and why.

Never expect your tables to think rationally.

Never run out the back door in the middle of hell rush, sit down, and start rocking.

Never stare while listening to them order.

Never answer their social questions. Apparently, "They don't want to hear about you. It's their night. Just give them a normal response." Whatever that is. It's much like your usual issue with "How are you," but multiplied.

Never fail to insert a fake laugh at their unfunny and oft-repeated jokes. You'll learn the jokes from when customers laugh. Memorize them. They are either sure this is the height of wit, or are reciting them knowing they are hackneyed but are indicating some sort of social engagement. After years of hell, I never reached any irrefutable conclusion on the topic.

DO correct them when they order erroneously. I know this is counter to what we have been taught, but it will serve you well here. NEVER deliver this as a correction. You must pose it as a question. Like Jeopardy, your income depends on it.

Never look elsewhere while talking to a table.

Well, it's much like all other social training, with a singular exception: they're paying for it. If they don't care for you (and that's sadly more important than accuracy and speed), you don't eat.

And that's why I never recommend this career for Aspies. I only enjoyed it twice: when I worked for a dying restaurant and had no tables (they closed, sadly), and when I worked for a breakfast house for two years that had counter regulars whom I knew, and who were largely engineers for Rockwell Collins. We spoke tech, and I memorized their coffee orders. The rest of the time, it was hell. I did enjoy being a cook, but only during slow times. Lots of burning and discarding at other periods.

Hello chaotik_lord,

I'm sorry your waitering job did not turn out well.

You're quite right in that many Aspies would find it very difficult. Some many succeed in it with hard work if they were really motivated.

You've given some very good examples of how personal needs need to be subordinated to your customers' needs. For example, we Aspies do need to decompress...doing so in the middle of a rush - precisely when we'd be most likely to want to do that - causes bad things.

Also, we Aspies believe in being honest, and that's a good thing - especially when you're handling money. Never disparage your employer's wares to customers. (It would be as if your ex had said "Actually chaotik_lord would not be a good employee." How would you feel about that? The people who pay you would feel the same way, only much stronger.)

And, it's very important to know how to tactfully correct someone - and just as you said, putting it in the form of a question often helps.

Most importantly, just as you said it's vital that the people who pay for you care for you. No matter how good a job you believe you're actually doing, if on a gut level the customers don't like you or your work, you need to change these perceptions by doing things they do like. Even if you don't share their standards.

Excellent points all around.

If I may ask, what do you do for a living now?

I'm the concessions coordinator at an indie movie theatre. It's a very slow and quiet theatre with a largely subdued and intellectual clientele. My job primarily consists of handling stock, inventory, and a lot of counting. It's not my future; I do hope to finish college some day, but it is work I do not dread. Actually, I quite like it. Particularly at the end of the night when I'm doing my computer work.

Its only drawback is that as a person who is technically on management staff, if I ever do speak to a customer, they're often disgruntled. However, for some reason, the fact that I don't wear a uniform usually satisfies them, even if I only repeat what the floor staff member has said to them. Ah, the power of khaki pants.

And if that doesn't work, I just bump the problem up a level. I have responsibility, but no real authority, so that's exactly what I'm meant to do.

I'm stuck in a waitressing job for summer and I find it so exhausting... I don't mind that I have to run around lots, I just can't focus very well when I'm moving so quickly, there's too much stuff flashing past and I have to try not to pay any attention to all of it and remember where I'm going/why... I keep dropping and breaking glasses and plates and things... I hate high-pitched sounds like empty glass bottles going into the glass bin or dropping a knife/fork on the tile floor, or sudden sounds like loud laughter or the bell ringing in the kitchen... I'm doing my fifth month on the job now and my boss is nice and knows that I do my best and work hard in spite of being easily distracted or tired or clumsily dropping things, but it just makes me ill/exhausted all the time and I've got no choice but to keep at it because I need money and there's no other job going... I hope that this summer is the last summer I have to be a waitress and from then on I can work somewhere like a small café or a shop or something...