Self-advocating for myself on the workplace

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Miyah
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23 Mar 2011, 1:30 pm

I have worked for the same company for the past 7 years and I have dealt with co-workers who carry very small minds. They're so small that you often get criticized for doing something that they don't like and to them it's a stereotype. In this case, I work with a co-worker who is very stereotypical and maybe mentally abusive.

I am a 29 year old women who recently shaved my head for a charity cause two weeks ago, and he had been telling me to the point of harassment that it's not normal to shave my head. When it did it, he decided that it would be funny to draw a mustache on me since he is bald and is wearing a mustache. He also convinced me that I am mentally ill and it would be a lot better if I were on medication and that I need to be in a psychiatric ward. Finally, he mentioned that I am 29 but that I was regressing and that 19 year old girls do things like shave their heads.

Meanwhile, I am dealing with a co-worker who acts like a friend to your face and latches onto you all the while talking behind other people's backs. Lately, there have been some rumors going around that she has been telling lies behind my back. One of there lies also happens to that her sister is pregnant and is in a interracial relationship. She told other people two weeks before me and also told them that she didn't want to tell me because I had strong opinions about those types of relationships. Then on Monday, she told me not to tell anyone that her sister was pregnant since it was between the two of us. Meanwhile, she went and told her sister that I called her a "N" loving "N" whore which I did not say. She got her sister all riled up about the deal and that she blocked me on FB so that I could not try to contact her, and then told another co-worker that I wasn't supposed to know about the pregnancy because of the beliefs and that I listened in on her conversation to her mother. She has done this to me countless times by telling me things and then I have said something to the other person, but when it comes down to them talking to her it's that I have been listening to phone conversations with her and other people.

How do I deal with people like her and then people who harass me on the job?



wefunction
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23 Mar 2011, 1:38 pm

Who is the boss? Why can't you report this behavior to the boss? What the man is doing is harassment. What the woman is doing is slander. Both of these actions are illegal. A sexual harassment suit (which you cannot be fired for filing, you are protected by law) would get any employer to protect you from the harassment and slander. I suggest you speak to an attorney about your options.



Miyah
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23 Mar 2011, 3:50 pm

I found out that she lied to my friend about her sister blocking me on FB because she is under my list of friends and unblocked. However, I did decide to remove her from FB after this whole mess.

Anyway, if you know of any good lawyers who I could speak to, please give me their numbers. I am also going to go annoymous to the DOL about what has been going on.



Lene
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23 Mar 2011, 4:10 pm

Woah, not cool :( (hair sounds awesome though- wish I had the guts to do that). Make a note of each incident and bring them to the top (not your manager, but the person way at the top- they're the only ones who have the power to get things done).

You can sue, but if you want to avoid a long legal battle, it may be worth trying to sort things out internally first.



wefunction
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23 Mar 2011, 4:35 pm

Miyah wrote:
I found out that she lied to my friend about her sister blocking me on FB because she is under my list of friends and unblocked. However, I did decide to remove her from FB after this whole mess.

Anyway, if you know of any good lawyers who I could speak to, please give me their numbers. I am also going to go annoymous to the DOL about what has been going on.


I don't even know where you are so there's no way I can begin giving you recommendations for attorneys. You're looking for workplace discrimination, which is pretty common, and often personal injury attorneys cover these injustices, too. You should easily get a free initial consultation to discuss your experiences and your options, without an obligation to hire anyone. I'd recommend opening the phone book to the legal section and begin talking to people. Get a few legal opinions.

Calling the DOL is a good move.



Miyah
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24 Mar 2011, 11:18 am

I found out today that the guy who is harassing me about shaving my head is also slandering me by telling others that I lie all the time and that I am so gone that I an not aware of it. Then the other person who also lies agreed with him. He and the other girl were agreeing with each other by saying those horrible things. I know that I am not sick and that I don't lie like this. However, most of my life I have dealt with other people like these who have said things behind my back.

I am appalled that the guy who has been harassing me is going around behind the scenes and making things up like that. However, I am not the one bit surprised either since he had been mentally and emotionally abusive with me like that.
Anyway, I am starting to document down every lie that has been said about me and look into contacting the DOL.



Ishtara
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24 Mar 2011, 7:19 pm

After a couple of disastrous work incidents, I found that the best way to avoid such situations was to avoid socialising with colleagues altogether. I still answer questions about what I got up to on the weekend, but thats as far as it goes. I don't have them as FB friends, I don't go out to lunch or to friday night drinks with them anymore. I take the view that I am at work to work, and I socialise elsewhere. So far, its working well.

I love that you shaved your head for charity. Anyone who says thats a bad thing isn't worth listenting to.



Miyah
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24 Mar 2011, 7:26 pm

I am going through the same thing myself and I am removing all contact from FB whom I work with due to possible future incidents like this one. I am also not going to attend anymore of their party gatherings if they are going to around around and lie behind my back like that. I have too many other neat things to do and other cool people to meet and so things with. They're not even worth it.



gadge
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25 Mar 2011, 6:24 pm

EEOC is the one to contact,but will have to use all other methods and agencies first

Im union so that took even longer...DOL couldnt really do much for me, Even with reguards to union wrong doing

I just talked with my eeoc investigator last week....finally...21months on a desk collecting dust, like me

Well the process still isnt over, and I'm sure there will be yet more BS, They have fought me on every technicality they could think of or create themselves

I'm fighting all of HR not just one or two jerks,
Report them and go as high as you need to and to as many resorces to get it to stop!, This action is not tollerable nor should it be allowed to continue ! !!

VVV...unrelated, but similiar and one example of A holes...VV
I saw a coworker spray a solvent down someones plumber crack ...and laugh..These people dont deserve to be in the workplace!

Its been 2 1/2yrs now! I warned them I will not give up !

Determined and winning the right to MY life ! !